Max's Dad: Hey. Come give me a hug, bud.
Max: I'll give you two hugs when you get back.
Max's Dad: I remember bringing you home from the hospital like it was yesterday. Now here you are, sexually masturbating yourself...
Max: We're in sixth grade now. We need to start doing sixth-grade things.
Annabelle: I know what cocaine is.
Thor: Annabelle, get out of here! Bean Bag Boys only.
Annabelle: I heard, at the skate park, the older kids will make you take drugs.
Max: We'll never do drugs. They destroy lives and communities.
Annabelle: You have no choice.
Thor: Mom!
Thor: I forgot. I have musical auditions this Friday. They drug-test for beer.
Lucas's Dad: Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Everything gonna stay the same.
Lucas's Mom: We promise.
Lucas: Will we still watch This Is Us together?
Lucas's Mom: Yes. Of course. That's our favorite show.
Lucas's Dad: That's our family show. Except now you're gonna see it on two different TVs, you know.
Lucas's Mom: In two different houses.
Lucas's Dad: So you're gonna have to watch the episode twice.
Thor: Max, I'm not going for cute. I'm going for sexy and hot. Those are the only two things I'm looking for.
Max: There's also gonna be girls there. You know what that means?
Lucas: Drama.
Max: Kissing. So, do you guys know how to kiss?
Max: Why does she have hair in her mouth?...
Lucas: Guys, guys. All we have to do is just go over there and tell the truth. Then God will be on our side.
Thor: This is leverage... Oh. Bingo!
Lucas: What is it?
Thor: I have no idea.
Max: That's a tampon.
Lucas: What's it for?
Max: Girls shove it up their buttholes to stop babies from coming out. An eighth-grader told me that.
Lucas: The human body is truly a mystery...
Lucas: Let's cut the shit. Are you a pedophile?
Claude: Oh, come on. Do I look like a pedophile?
— Yes, absolutely. 1,000%.
Claude: That's not fair.
Lucas: You look more like a pedophile than anyone I've ever seen.
Officer Sacks: What do you have in your pants?
Thor: My penis.
Officer Sacks: Pull it out.
Thor: I also have a big dick...
Officer Sacks: Put it back. I'm being generous today.
Lucas: I know you don't know us and you think we're just stupid kids, but just listen to me. Whatever problems you're having, drugs are not the answer. Drugs just give you a false sense of reality. You may think your lives are bad, but you have family and friends who love you.
Benji: You can tell Hannah that if she wants Molly, she can suck my dick.
Lucas: You shouldn't talk about women like that. The only time she should suck your dick is when she gives you consent.
Benji: You can suck my dick, and you can suck my dick, too.
Lucas: What about me? I'm just gonna sit here?... We're the Bean Bag Boys! We do everything together.
Lucas: You made us ditch school, run around with drugs, and lock a cop in a convenience store with what I now suspect is a dildo!... What the fuck are you looking at, Gandalf?!!
Max: You guys don't understand shit. I have hormones flowing through my body, making me do crazy things. Do you even know what it feels like to want to rub up against a tree all the time?
Max's Dad: No, no, no. You are no longer allowed to call me Daddy. Call me Andrew or Mr. Newman or Warden. Underneath that cherubic face, Devil lives inside you. I will always love you because you are my son. But I no longer like you.
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
Max: I'll give you two hugs when you get back.
Max's Dad: I remember bringing you home from the hospital like it was yesterday. Now here you are, sexually masturbating yourself...
Max: We're in sixth grade now. We need to start doing sixth-grade things.
Annabelle: I know what cocaine is.
Thor: Annabelle, get out of here! Bean Bag Boys only.
Annabelle: I heard, at the skate park, the older kids will make you take drugs.
Max: We'll never do drugs. They destroy lives and communities.
Annabelle: You have no choice.
Thor: Mom!
Thor: I forgot. I have musical auditions this Friday. They drug-test for beer.
Lucas's Dad: Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Everything gonna stay the same.
Lucas's Mom: We promise.
Lucas: Will we still watch This Is Us together?
Lucas's Mom: Yes. Of course. That's our favorite show.
Lucas's Dad: That's our family show. Except now you're gonna see it on two different TVs, you know.
Lucas's Mom: In two different houses.
Lucas's Dad: So you're gonna have to watch the episode twice.
Thor: Max, I'm not going for cute. I'm going for sexy and hot. Those are the only two things I'm looking for.
Max: There's also gonna be girls there. You know what that means?
Lucas: Drama.
Max: Kissing. So, do you guys know how to kiss?
Max: Why does she have hair in her mouth?...
Lucas: Guys, guys. All we have to do is just go over there and tell the truth. Then God will be on our side.
Thor: This is leverage... Oh. Bingo!
Lucas: What is it?
Thor: I have no idea.
Max: That's a tampon.
Lucas: What's it for?
Max: Girls shove it up their buttholes to stop babies from coming out. An eighth-grader told me that.
Lucas: The human body is truly a mystery...
Lucas: Let's cut the shit. Are you a pedophile?
Claude: Oh, come on. Do I look like a pedophile?
— Yes, absolutely. 1,000%.
Claude: That's not fair.
Lucas: You look more like a pedophile than anyone I've ever seen.
Officer Sacks: What do you have in your pants?
Thor: My penis.
Officer Sacks: Pull it out.
Thor: I also have a big dick...
Officer Sacks: Put it back. I'm being generous today.
Lucas: I know you don't know us and you think we're just stupid kids, but just listen to me. Whatever problems you're having, drugs are not the answer. Drugs just give you a false sense of reality. You may think your lives are bad, but you have family and friends who love you.
Benji: You can tell Hannah that if she wants Molly, she can suck my dick.
Lucas: You shouldn't talk about women like that. The only time she should suck your dick is when she gives you consent.
Benji: You can suck my dick, and you can suck my dick, too.
Lucas: What about me? I'm just gonna sit here?... We're the Bean Bag Boys! We do everything together.
Lucas: You made us ditch school, run around with drugs, and lock a cop in a convenience store with what I now suspect is a dildo!... What the fuck are you looking at, Gandalf?!!
Max: You guys don't understand shit. I have hormones flowing through my body, making me do crazy things. Do you even know what it feels like to want to rub up against a tree all the time?
Max's Dad: No, no, no. You are no longer allowed to call me Daddy. Call me Andrew or Mr. Newman or Warden. Underneath that cherubic face, Devil lives inside you. I will always love you because you are my son. But I no longer like you.
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
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