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Rick and Morty 2x4

Jerry: Rick, I don't like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash!
Rick: Well, I don't like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry, but life is made of little concessions.

Morty: Steve wasn't real?
Rick: He's a real piece of shit.

Rick: All right. There's six of us, and that's it. Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole, and Summer.

Beth: Dad, why does our house have blast shields?
Rick: Trust me, Beth, you don't want to know how many answers that question has.

Rick: Six, Morty! There's supposed to be six of us! If there's seven, then that means somebody's not real.

Beth: So we can't trust any of our memories now? Nicky was the reason we found that old Nazi submarine. Did that not even happen?

Nicky: Hey, we got a word for Nazis back in Brooklyn, pal.
Nazi: I'm comfortable being called a Nazi. You think there's some other word that will hurt my feelings?

Rick: All right, there's six of us. And that's it. Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole, Frankenstein, Sleepy Gary, Photography Raptor, Mr. Beauregard, and Summer.
Beth: Uh, dad, that's like 10 people.
Rick: 6, 10, what's the difference? I just love the number 6 for no reason!

Rick: Shoot. Now look. It's like a "Where's Waldo?" page. Can you find me?

Sleepy Gary: Rick, keep a level head, okay? 'Cause I’ll tell you a secret about Frankenstein-- He's actually Frankenstein's monster.

Rick: Is anyone here even real? Am I the only real person on Earth?!

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Morty: Yeah, you know, he does have a lot of really weird, made-up sounding catchphrases.
Rick: Wubba lubba dub dub!
Rick: Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch!
Rick: And that's the wa-a-a-a-y the news goes.
Rick: Hit the sack, Jack.
Rick: Uh-oh! Somersault jump.
Rick: AIDS!
Rick: And that's why I always say shum shum shlippedy dop!
Rick: Grassss tastes bad-ah.
Rick: No jumpin' in the sewer.
Rick: Burger time!
Rick: Rubber baby baby bunkers!
Rick: Lick, lick, lick my bails!

Morty: ...and let us the hell out of here!
Rick: Why don't you make me, implausibly naive pubescent boy with an old Jewish comedy writer's name?

Rick: Shut up, Morty, you brainwashed, little turd that might not even be real because I'm brainwashed, too.

Rick: Well, yeah, duh-doy.

Rick: Now let's go, Morty. We got a lot of friends and family to exterminate.

Morty: She's real. She's my bitch-of-a-sister.

Summer: Morty, give a gun to the lady that got pregnant with me too early and constantly makes it our problem.

Rick: Haven't we ever had an uncomfortable silence or an awkward fart on a road trip? Come on, Pencilvester. Give me anything.

Beth: Ugh. Sorry, Jerry. You're real.
Jerry: I'm a parasite!
Beth: Yeah, but you're real.

Beth: Is, um, is he mad at me?
Rick: He's not pressing charges. I mean, that's got to be the "You shot me" equivalent of not being mad.

Rick: And that's the wa-a-a-a-y the news goes.

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