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Rick and Morty 2x5

Terry: A giant head has entered Earth's gravity, triggering climate change and natural disasters we thought were impossible for at least another eight years.
Jim: Let's not make this political, Terry.

Rick: Oh, boy. Time to go, Morty.
Morty: Uh, where?
Rick: The Pentagon. I mean, not the Pentagon. The lame one here, on Earth.

Nathan: Mr. President, what America's got is 70,000 megatons of kaboom-boom, and I say we show it right up this floating head's ass.

Pastor Bob: Every crisis of faith is an opportunity for more faith. When God deals you an 11, you don't fold! You double down! And always hit on a soft 16. That means you, Jews.

Principal Vagina: Hi. Principal Vagina-- The name's real, possibly Scandinavian.

Principal Vagina: The old gods are dead. Fuck all previous existing religions. All hail the one true God-- the giant head in the sky.
Pastor Bob: Children of God!..
Principal Vagina: Ah-ta-ta-ta! Bob, Bob, I get it. But unless this can beat that, what have you done for me lately? So, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going out onto the sidewalk, I'm dropping to my knees, and pledging my eternal soul to the thing that literally controls the fucking weather.

Morty: Rick, are you really a musician?
Rick: Who's not a musician, Morty?
Morty: Me!
Rick: Yeah, not with that attitude.

Rick: Morty, good music comes from people who are relaxed. Just hit a button, Morty! Give me a beat!

Beth: Now, hold on a second! Let's be rational about this. No, I'm-- we don't know there's a cause-effect relationship--

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Cromulon: WE ASKED THEM TO SHOW US WHAT THEY GOT, AND THEY DID. NOW WE'LL SEE WHICH OF THEM HAS GOT THE MOST. 24 HOURS, 5 PLANETS, 5 SONGS. BUT IN THE END, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE... PLANET MUSIC!

Cromulon: ALL PARTICIPATION IS INVOLUNTARY. DISQUALIFIED AND LOSING PLANETS ARE DISINTEGRATED BY PLASMA RAY.

Rick: That's planning for failure, Morty. Even dumber than regular planning.

Jerry: I think it's inspiring that our community is coping with fear in a way that involves a festival and homemade ice cream. If you'd stop being such an evangelical atheist, you might start enjoying yourself.

Principal Vagina: We hereby send these unwantables skyward that they might be inhaled by the many Heads, later to be sneezed back to us as better babies... Headward, free now to rise...

Summer: ...And then Ethan played guitar, and we learned the seven contemplations of the Head by singing them. It was really fun. Praise be the Head!

Summer: Oh, my god, daddy! I'm sorry I called you silly! I'm so sorry! Heavenly Heads and cranial creator, forgive my transgressions against family and community. May my chores complete me as I complete them.

Ice-T: Shit, overdeveloped, underdeveloped-- A bad song's a bad song.

Morty: Birdperson, you always stick up for Rick, but he doesn't care about anyone but himself. He doesn't think about the consequences of anything he does.
Birdperson: And as a result, he has the power to save or destroy entire worlds.

The President: There are way too many buttons in this thing!
Morty: Mr. President, if I've learned one thing today it's that sometimes you have to not give a fuck.

Magnesium-J: Very well. Your exile ends today. Welcome home... Water-T.

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