Auto Erotic Assimilation

Rick and Morty 2x3

Rick: The first rule of space travel, kids, is always check out distress beacons. 9 out of 10 times, it's a ship full of dead aliens and a bunch of free shit! 1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap, but I'm ready to roll those dice.

Rick: Oh, yeah, if you find a room full of eggs, don't shy away from it. Give one of them a shake. Those facehuggers are worth more than this ship.

Rick: Wait, wait. Stop. Hold it. Not like this. We need a hang glider and a crotchless Uncle Sam costume, and I want the entire field of your largest stadium covered end to end with naked redheads, and I want the stands packed with every man that remotely resembles my father.

Morty: Way to go, Summer. You started a race war.
Summer: I didn't start it! They're the racists. I-- I merely empowered them to follow their apparently misguided dreams.

Summer: Oh, Unity, I am so sorry. I didn't know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks. I was thinking more of a choose your own cellphone-carrier thing.

Summer: You and Unity are like-- Like leggings and mid-calf boots. You think you're great together, but you're just bringing out the worst in each other.

Blim Blam: You know the reason why I ripped my chains out of the wall? And do you know why I'm never coming back to this planet? Because the two of you are the fucking worst! You both hate yourselves and each other. And the idea that it has anything to do with Rick is laughable.

Blim Blam: I'd laugh, but I'm biologically incapable. That's how alien I am.

Rick: Don't waste your brain on those weirdos, Unity. They're no different from any of the aimless chumps that you occupy. They just put you at the center of their lives because you're powerful. And then because they put you there, they want you to be less powerful.

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