Artificial Emotional Intelligence

Silicon Valley 5×6

Richard: Puking. That's my move.

Yao: ....Also free of charge. This concludes our tour. Any questions?
Gavin: Just one... What the fuck?!

Gilfoyle: I could create a credit system....
Richard: Do you think you could set those up by today?
Gilfoyle: More work. Fantastic.

Dinesh: That was an out-of-body experience! It was like God was coding through me. Time stood still.
Gilfoyle: Not for the rest of us it didn't.

Dinesh: The second these results go up, they're all going to see the only thing that matters... Who made less errors.
Gilfoyle: You mean who made "fewer" errors?

Dinesh: To show you I'm a gracious winner, I'll take you to a nice restaurant. Your favorite kind of restaurant. A "mis-steak" house!

Dinesh: I hope that book you're reading is for work... But if you wanna read for fun, you should read Gilfoyle's favorite author, George "Error" Martin.

Dinesh: As your supervisor, I wanted to inform you that there is a first aid kit, but if you need blood, don't go to Gilfoyle 'cause he's type-O. Typo!

Dinesh: They love it! They're all laughing at you.

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Monica: Nothing is personal with Laurie. Alright? It's what makes her such a great VC.

Big Head: Fiona, what's 12 times 157?

Richard: So you've just been out here all night, talking... to a robot?
Jared: .... I know that Fiona is a man-made piece of digital equipment... powered by artificial intelligence. But the level of that intelligence is... it's gobsmacking! I mean, I don't remember ever having a conversation like the one I've been having with her over the last 12 hours.

Dinesh: Oh yes! Playground games. Gilfoyle likes to play "Suck Suck Goose." Oh! Or it could be "Duck Duck Goofs."

Gilfoyle: You see... it is I who am the tortoise. And you are the hairy Arab who can now chortle my balls.

Gilfoyle: What's happening? Why did you do that?
Danny: Right after you forced me to set Dinesh up, I told the other engineers that if you won you'd immediately insult Dinesh by saying something sexually demeaning or racist. And you just did both.

Laurie: Richard, being a CEO is a terrible waste of time. And a horrible way to make a living.

Gavin: That's some old Chinese shit right there. I told you, you're a badass, Yao!

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