Deceptive Little Parasite

Lucifer 2×15

& Lucifer: But it’s so small and so... not flaming.

& Linda: Do you mean actual gates? Like big and pearly? Are we talking clouds? Harps? Old dudes in white robes?
    Lucifer: And my dad is Morgan Freeman? Focus, Doctor.

& Linda: My job is to help you understand your emotions. I can help you become aware of what it is you’re feeling, or trying to avoid feeling.....
    Lucifer: Right, you’ve got that look on your face when you’re saying something insightful and waiting for me to figure it out.

& Mazikeen: I’m sorry. I can’t deal with human emotions on an empty stomach. Makes me... nauseous.

& Lucifer: Tall, non-fat almond milk latte with sugar-free caramel drizzle and no vodka this time.
    Chloe: What’s the occasion?
    Lucifer: Well, I thought we should celebrate our first day together as crime-solving divorcees.

& Principal: Um, our children learn to manage their emotions in no time.
    Lucifer: Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place? Let the schooling begin!

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& Lucifer: A foursome isn’t an emotion, Mum! Ladies, I’m sorry, but, uh, it’s hard for me to enjoy a triple-decker with my mum’s hands all over it, so...

& Lucifer: What’s the rush? Not like eternity’s got a «best before» date.

& Trixie: She has helped so many other people with their problems, I don’t want her to worry about mine. So I pretend I’m okay.
    Lucifer: Well... welcome to the club of parental deceit, child. It’s a lonely place, but, uh, that’s the price of being clever.

& Chloe: You are lucky my daughter likes you so much.
    Lucifer: Yes, I’m starting to respect the deceptive little parasite.

& Lucifer: Driving lessons will have to wait until your mum’s not looking.

& Mazikeen: A school like that is great for Trixie.... Fancy-pants rich kids? They’re like vipers, okay? Trixie will learn to slash them with her words. Then I will teach her the knives.

& Lucifer: Careful, brother. Too much of that will make you go blind.

& Lucifer: It turns out you were right, Doctor. It’s impossible to control your feelings. And anyone who does risks turning into a murderous lunatic with a child of below-average intelligence, so...

& Linda: I know it’s difficult. But the only way to get over that pain... is to go through it.

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