& Calvin Joyner: What do you mean, «someone»?
Maggie: See someone, like a therapist.
Calvin Joyner: Uh, honey, black people don’t go to therapy. We go to barbershops. That’s where we talk out our problems. Or we watch the movie Barbershop. One or the other.
& Calvin Joyner: Do you remember Robbie Wheirdicht, from high school?
& Calvin Joyner: You look like Hercules or somebody. What did you do? Come on, man, give it to me. What’d you do?
Bob Stone: No, I didn’t do much, really.
Calvin Joyner: Stop it.
Bob Stone: All right. Well, I just did one thing... I worked out six hours a day, every day, for the last 20 years straight. I mean, anybody can do it, right?
& Bob Stone: Well, before this whole thing goes down, you should know one thing about me... I don’t like bullies.
& Calvin Joyner: I’m talking about the fact that I don’t feel like I’m the hero of my own story.
Bob Stone: How are you not the hero of your own story? No one else can be!
& Calvin Joyner: You wanna talk about facts? This is Facebook’s fault. He sent me a friend request. That’s how this whole thing started.
Agent Pamela Harris: And you accepted?
Calvin Joyner: ..... First of all, fuck Mark Zuckerberg, all right? Now, I accepted because it was Facebook. And it’s rude when you don’t accept it, and I don’t know if the person on the other end can see me not accept it. That’s why I accepted.
Agent Pamela Harris: Are you nervous, Mr. Joyner?
& Bob Stone: Spoiler alert. I’m in the CIA.
& Calvin Joyner: Hey, hey! What’re you doing with my phone? You about to turn my phone into a bomb, aren’t you? I’ve seen Homeland! So I know what they do.
Bob Stone: Homeland? No, I’m ordering us an Uber.
& Bob Stone: Bottom line, are you in or you out?
Calvin Joyner: What are you talk... In or out of what?
Bob Stone: Mmm-mmm. No time for questions, just action. In or out?
Calvin Joyner: Okay, well, then I’m out.
Bob Stone: I’m sorry, Jet. Actually, you’re already in.
Calvin Joyner: What? Then why would you ask me?
Bob Stone: Because I thought you would go, «I’m in, Bob!» And we would’ve had a really cool moment, but you kind of ruined the whole thing.
& Bob Stone: God, you are good! Calvin Joyner, president of the drama club for a reason, folks! You’re like a snack-size Denzel.
& Bob Stone: Here’s the thing, though. There’s only one way for you to get out... You gotta get in first.
& Maggie: Is everything all right?
Calvin Joyner: Yeah! Yeah. Why? Everything’s... Everything’s fine.
Maggie: Uh, because you kind of sound like Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas.
& Calvin Joyner: I’m gonna address the elephant in the room. Okay, first of all... You guys, I want to say sorry to. Because what you’re probably thinking is not what happened. Accidents!
& Bob Stone: Why don’t we try a simple role-playing exercise? Calvin, you be Calvin and I will become Maggie.
Calvin Joyner: Mmm. I’m confused.
& Bob Stone: It’s called soul gazing. Stare into my soul and I’ll stare into yours.
& Trevor: Once a fat kid, always a fat kid.
& Calvin Joyner: Do you know what happens when people split up, Bob? Somebody dies!
& Bob Stone: Phil, when this thing is over, I’m going to rip your throat out like Patrick Swayze in Road House.
Phil: Oh, my God. You and Road House. Get over that movie. It sucked then, it sucks now. The only movie that sucks more is Sixteen Candles.
& Agent Pamela Harris: Mr. Joyner, it was a pleasure working with you. If you ever want a career change, you give me a call.
Calvin Joyner: If I were to give you a call, how would I get in touch with you?
Agent Pamela Harris: Just pick up any phone in your house. They’re all bugged.
& Bob Stone: Being the hero of your own story isn’t about stopping bad guys or climbing mountains. It’s about overcoming bullies in your life, whatever or whomever they may be. ...it’s realizing that, in life, the most important thing that you can be is yourself.
& Bob Stone: You look like a black Will Smith, or something.
Calvin Joyner: Okay. Well, I’m not sure if that’s racist or not, but I’ll take it as a compliment.
--
++ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
Σ nostradamvs: "Ну, не восторг. .... Милая такая семейная комедия, посмотреть один разок и забыть навсегда."
Maggie: See someone, like a therapist.
Calvin Joyner: Uh, honey, black people don’t go to therapy. We go to barbershops. That’s where we talk out our problems. Or we watch the movie Barbershop. One or the other.
& Calvin Joyner: Do you remember Robbie Wheirdicht, from high school?
& Calvin Joyner: You look like Hercules or somebody. What did you do? Come on, man, give it to me. What’d you do?
Bob Stone: No, I didn’t do much, really.
Calvin Joyner: Stop it.
Bob Stone: All right. Well, I just did one thing... I worked out six hours a day, every day, for the last 20 years straight. I mean, anybody can do it, right?
& Bob Stone: Well, before this whole thing goes down, you should know one thing about me... I don’t like bullies.
& Calvin Joyner: I’m talking about the fact that I don’t feel like I’m the hero of my own story.
Bob Stone: How are you not the hero of your own story? No one else can be!
& Calvin Joyner: You wanna talk about facts? This is Facebook’s fault. He sent me a friend request. That’s how this whole thing started.
Agent Pamela Harris: And you accepted?
Calvin Joyner: ..... First of all, fuck Mark Zuckerberg, all right? Now, I accepted because it was Facebook. And it’s rude when you don’t accept it, and I don’t know if the person on the other end can see me not accept it. That’s why I accepted.
Agent Pamela Harris: Are you nervous, Mr. Joyner?
& Bob Stone: Spoiler alert. I’m in the CIA.
& Calvin Joyner: Hey, hey! What’re you doing with my phone? You about to turn my phone into a bomb, aren’t you? I’ve seen Homeland! So I know what they do.
Bob Stone: Homeland? No, I’m ordering us an Uber.
& Bob Stone: Bottom line, are you in or you out?
Calvin Joyner: What are you talk... In or out of what?
Bob Stone: Mmm-mmm. No time for questions, just action. In or out?
Calvin Joyner: Okay, well, then I’m out.
Bob Stone: I’m sorry, Jet. Actually, you’re already in.
Calvin Joyner: What? Then why would you ask me?
Bob Stone: Because I thought you would go, «I’m in, Bob!» And we would’ve had a really cool moment, but you kind of ruined the whole thing.
& Bob Stone: God, you are good! Calvin Joyner, president of the drama club for a reason, folks! You’re like a snack-size Denzel.
& Bob Stone: Here’s the thing, though. There’s only one way for you to get out... You gotta get in first.
& Maggie: Is everything all right?
Calvin Joyner: Yeah! Yeah. Why? Everything’s... Everything’s fine.
Maggie: Uh, because you kind of sound like Ray Liotta at the end of Goodfellas.
& Calvin Joyner: I’m gonna address the elephant in the room. Okay, first of all... You guys, I want to say sorry to. Because what you’re probably thinking is not what happened. Accidents!
& Bob Stone: Why don’t we try a simple role-playing exercise? Calvin, you be Calvin and I will become Maggie.
Calvin Joyner: Mmm. I’m confused.
& Bob Stone: It’s called soul gazing. Stare into my soul and I’ll stare into yours.
& Trevor: Once a fat kid, always a fat kid.
& Calvin Joyner: Do you know what happens when people split up, Bob? Somebody dies!
& Bob Stone: Phil, when this thing is over, I’m going to rip your throat out like Patrick Swayze in Road House.
Phil: Oh, my God. You and Road House. Get over that movie. It sucked then, it sucks now. The only movie that sucks more is Sixteen Candles.
& Agent Pamela Harris: Mr. Joyner, it was a pleasure working with you. If you ever want a career change, you give me a call.
Calvin Joyner: If I were to give you a call, how would I get in touch with you?
Agent Pamela Harris: Just pick up any phone in your house. They’re all bugged.
& Bob Stone: Being the hero of your own story isn’t about stopping bad guys or climbing mountains. It’s about overcoming bullies in your life, whatever or whomever they may be. ...it’s realizing that, in life, the most important thing that you can be is yourself.
& Bob Stone: You look like a black Will Smith, or something.
Calvin Joyner: Okay. Well, I’m not sure if that’s racist or not, but I’ll take it as a compliment.
--
++ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
Σ nostradamvs: "Ну, не восторг. .... Милая такая семейная комедия, посмотреть один разок и забыть навсегда."
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