31 окт. 2013 г.

Misfits 5×1

& Finn: Well, I’m glad he didn’t die. I am. But I will say this. He may have a new lung, but you can’t replace his cheating heart.

& Rudy: Scouts... Scouts is a time for boys to be boys. You know, the... the first time I masturbated. Scouts. The first time I ever saw another boy’s penis. Scouts. First time I touched another boy’s penis. Scouts. First time another boy touched my penis.
    Jess: Scouts?
    Rudy: It was in Scouts! It was in Scouts. Happy, sunlit days is what they were.

& Rudy: My dad, he used to say to me, you know, he used to say, “Rudy, women are very much like tractors.....” Which I have never understood. I think it’s something, really, to do with potatoes.

& Scout Leader: You are to become one of us.
    Finn: A Scout? Can’t I just fill in a membership form?
    Scout Leader: You are to become an agent of Satan.
    Finn: And if I say no?

& Finn: Is that a chicken? Oh, you... you’ve got the wrong guy. I’d make a terrible agent of Satan. I’m... I’m lazy, and... and disorganised, and ask anyone who knows me, I’m... I’m shit.

& Finn: You’re not going to believe what’s just happened to me.
    Rudy: Were you bent over double again, sucking yourself off, bit of pollen’s gone up your nose, you’ve sneezed, you’ve bit the tip off your penis...
    Finn: No!

& Jess: They don’t look like agents of Satan.
    Finn: Of course they don’t look like agents of Satan. Agents of Satan never look like agents of Satan, do they?

& Greg: Have you been running an illegal slaughterhouse in my community centre?
    Finn: No.
    Greg: If I find out you have been supplying local restaurants and kebab houses with dodgy meat...
    Finn: You won’t, cos I haven’t.


& Jess: Why would you do that? Because now I have to end it with you and that is really fucking hard! Say something, then, you dick.
    Alex: .... I promise... it is not what you think.

& Rudy Two: I’m Rudy. Well, Rudy Two. And I was created by the storm. I suppose you could say... I’m the living embodiment of a split personality disorder.

& — This is a chance to use your cock for good.

& Rudy: Finn? No. He’s too short to be the devil.

& Jess: This isn’t you.
    Finn: This is me. I’m just improved. Version 2.0.

& Jess: Isn’t it a bit weird that we’re agents of Satan but we’re still on community service?
    Finn: We’ll burn the probation worker at the stake after lunch.

& Finn: Just because I’m Satan’s chief agent on earth, doesn’t mean I can’t be romantic.

& Alex: There’s always going to be some other girl. I hate myself for what I did to you and I’m sorry. But now I’ve got the chance to... to use my cock for good. And I want to save you. I’m doing this for you.

& Finn: You fucked me?
    Alex: Do you think I enjoyed it?
    Finn: Probably!

& Rudy Two: Are we going to become proper superheroes?

& Abby: Did you get community service for fucking him up the arse or breaking into the community centre?
    Alex: Breaking and entering.
    Rudy: Breaking and entering... his sphincter. Boom!

& Finn: I think we’re all mature enough to brush it under the carpet, as far as it will go. Not just under the carpet — under the underlay under the carpet.
    Alex: Where things go when there’s no need to speak about them or think about them ever again.

& Jess: So, how comes he didn’t take your telekinesis?
    Finn: I guess it’s last in, first out.
    Rudy: Of his sphincter! Boom!

& Rudy: Horrible. Like a frigging giant shagging a dwarf.
    Jess: Boom.

--
On the IMDb

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