& Finn: Well, I’m glad he didn’t die. I am. But I will say this. He may have a new lung, but you can’t replace his cheating heart.
& Rudy: Scouts... Scouts is a time for boys to be boys. You know, the... the first time I masturbated. Scouts. The first time I ever saw another boy’s penis. Scouts. First time I touched another boy’s penis. Scouts. First time another boy touched my penis.
Jess: Scouts?
Rudy: It was in Scouts! It was in Scouts. Happy, sunlit days is what they were.
& Rudy: My dad, he used to say to me, you know, he used to say, “Rudy, women are very much like tractors.....” Which I have never understood. I think it’s something, really, to do with potatoes.
& Scout Leader: You are to become one of us.
Finn: A Scout? Can’t I just fill in a membership form?
Scout Leader: You are to become an agent of Satan.
Finn: And if I say no?
& Finn: Is that a chicken? Oh, you... you’ve got the wrong guy. I’d make a terrible agent of Satan. I’m... I’m lazy, and... and disorganised, and ask anyone who knows me, I’m... I’m shit.
& Finn: You’re not going to believe what’s just happened to me.
Rudy: Were you bent over double again, sucking yourself off, bit of pollen’s gone up your nose, you’ve sneezed, you’ve bit the tip off your penis...
Finn: No!
& Jess: They don’t look like agents of Satan.
Finn: Of course they don’t look like agents of Satan. Agents of Satan never look like agents of Satan, do they?
& Greg: Have you been running an illegal slaughterhouse in my community centre?
Finn: No.
Greg: If I find out you have been supplying local restaurants and kebab houses with dodgy meat...
Finn: You won’t, cos I haven’t.
& Jess: Why would you do that? Because now I have to end it with you and that is really fucking hard! Say something, then, you dick.
Alex: .... I promise... it is not what you think.
& Rudy Two: I’m Rudy. Well, Rudy Two. And I was created by the storm. I suppose you could say... I’m the living embodiment of a split personality disorder.
& — This is a chance to use your cock for good.
& Rudy: Finn? No. He’s too short to be the devil.
& Jess: This isn’t you.
Finn: This is me. I’m just improved. Version 2.0.
& Jess: Isn’t it a bit weird that we’re agents of Satan but we’re still on community service?
Finn: We’ll burn the probation worker at the stake after lunch.
& Finn: Just because I’m Satan’s chief agent on earth, doesn’t mean I can’t be romantic.
& Alex: There’s always going to be some other girl. I hate myself for what I did to you and I’m sorry. But now I’ve got the chance to... to use my cock for good. And I want to save you. I’m doing this for you.
& Finn: You fucked me?
Alex: Do you think I enjoyed it?
Finn: Probably!
& Rudy Two: Are we going to become proper superheroes?
& Abby: Did you get community service for fucking him up the arse or breaking into the community centre?
Alex: Breaking and entering.
Rudy: Breaking and entering... his sphincter. Boom!
& Finn: I think we’re all mature enough to brush it under the carpet, as far as it will go. Not just under the carpet — under the underlay under the carpet.
Alex: Where things go when there’s no need to speak about them or think about them ever again.
& Jess: So, how comes he didn’t take your telekinesis?
Finn: I guess it’s last in, first out.
Rudy: Of his sphincter! Boom!
& Rudy: Horrible. Like a frigging giant shagging a dwarf.
Jess: Boom.
--
On the IMDb
& Rudy: Scouts... Scouts is a time for boys to be boys. You know, the... the first time I masturbated. Scouts. The first time I ever saw another boy’s penis. Scouts. First time I touched another boy’s penis. Scouts. First time another boy touched my penis.
Jess: Scouts?
Rudy: It was in Scouts! It was in Scouts. Happy, sunlit days is what they were.
& Rudy: My dad, he used to say to me, you know, he used to say, “Rudy, women are very much like tractors.....” Which I have never understood. I think it’s something, really, to do with potatoes.
& Scout Leader: You are to become one of us.
Finn: A Scout? Can’t I just fill in a membership form?
Scout Leader: You are to become an agent of Satan.
Finn: And if I say no?
& Finn: Is that a chicken? Oh, you... you’ve got the wrong guy. I’d make a terrible agent of Satan. I’m... I’m lazy, and... and disorganised, and ask anyone who knows me, I’m... I’m shit.
& Finn: You’re not going to believe what’s just happened to me.
Rudy: Were you bent over double again, sucking yourself off, bit of pollen’s gone up your nose, you’ve sneezed, you’ve bit the tip off your penis...
Finn: No!
& Jess: They don’t look like agents of Satan.
Finn: Of course they don’t look like agents of Satan. Agents of Satan never look like agents of Satan, do they?
& Greg: Have you been running an illegal slaughterhouse in my community centre?
Finn: No.
Greg: If I find out you have been supplying local restaurants and kebab houses with dodgy meat...
Finn: You won’t, cos I haven’t.
& Jess: Why would you do that? Because now I have to end it with you and that is really fucking hard! Say something, then, you dick.
Alex: .... I promise... it is not what you think.
& Rudy Two: I’m Rudy. Well, Rudy Two. And I was created by the storm. I suppose you could say... I’m the living embodiment of a split personality disorder.
& — This is a chance to use your cock for good.
& Rudy: Finn? No. He’s too short to be the devil.
& Jess: This isn’t you.
Finn: This is me. I’m just improved. Version 2.0.
& Jess: Isn’t it a bit weird that we’re agents of Satan but we’re still on community service?
Finn: We’ll burn the probation worker at the stake after lunch.
& Finn: Just because I’m Satan’s chief agent on earth, doesn’t mean I can’t be romantic.
& Alex: There’s always going to be some other girl. I hate myself for what I did to you and I’m sorry. But now I’ve got the chance to... to use my cock for good. And I want to save you. I’m doing this for you.
& Finn: You fucked me?
Alex: Do you think I enjoyed it?
Finn: Probably!
& Rudy Two: Are we going to become proper superheroes?
& Abby: Did you get community service for fucking him up the arse or breaking into the community centre?
Alex: Breaking and entering.
Rudy: Breaking and entering... his sphincter. Boom!
& Finn: I think we’re all mature enough to brush it under the carpet, as far as it will go. Not just under the carpet — under the underlay under the carpet.
Alex: Where things go when there’s no need to speak about them or think about them ever again.
& Jess: So, how comes he didn’t take your telekinesis?
Finn: I guess it’s last in, first out.
Rudy: Of his sphincter! Boom!
& Rudy: Horrible. Like a frigging giant shagging a dwarf.
Jess: Boom.
--
On the IMDb
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