& Boss: You weren’t going to get the sale anyway. Nobody wears a watch anymore. They just check their goddamn phones.
& Boss: Watches are obsolete, and so are the two of you.
Nick: Hey. Obsolete? What does that even mean?
Boss: Everything’s computerized now. It’s cheaper for a machine to tell these companies what to order than a manufacturer’s rep. They don’t need us anymore.
Nick: No, people have a deep mistrust of machines.
Billy: That’s right.
Nick: Have you seen Terminator?
Billy: Yep. Mmhmm. All of them.
Nick: Or 2 or 3 or 4? People want to deal with people, not Terminators.
Boss: People hate people. Times have changed.
& Boss: Strap it in, boys, ’cause it ain’t pretty out there. And you two are dinosaurs. Face it.
& Nick: Just when you think your day couldn’t get any worse, it got worse. I feel like my day bent me over, put a ball in my mouth and fucked me bad.
& Kevin: There he is. Nickrophiliac!
& Nick: Now, can we talk about this later?
Billy: No, we can’t talk about it later. The future doesn’t know later.
Nick: What are you..? All the future is, is later. That’s literally what the future is. It’s later.
& Nick: What are you talking about?
Billy: Google... The place is amazing. They got nap pods, they got massage rooms, they got a volleyball court. They got the whole nine. It’s ranked as the greatest place to work at in America.
& Allison: Um, we’re gonna ask you a few questions that some of our candidates find a little bit odd.
Nick: Let’s get weird!
Billy: No judgment. Shoot.
Benjamin: You’re shrunken down to the size of nickels and dropped to the bottom of a blender. What do you do?
& Benjamin: What type of computer do you use for your coding ability?
Billy: Coding ability?
Benjamin: Uh, yeah. Uh, under computer skills, you put “Cplusplus. ”
Billy: That’s actually a Cplus.
Benjamin: What’s that?
Billy: Well, the second plus is to reflect my attitude of how I felt about the Cplus. But it’s a Cplus. It was a typing class. You know, same principle, just not the engine inside the baby there. But it was more like “quick brown fox.” You know, put your hands in the basin, and crushing it like that. But that helped me out a lot when I, as I started my journey into computers because I already knew where to put my hands, clearly.
& Billy: Would I be wrong to call you my brother?
Nick: Of course not. I’d do anything for my little show pony. Look at me. Anything.
Billy: I’m gonna need you to ice my balls for me. ... Brother!
& Stuart: Oh, the whole world looks like a giant pinwheel of death right now.
Nick: Price of making memories, Stewie.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Σ Not a masterpiece. Although it should be noted, 100% of screen time are purest sales. Impressive.
& Boss: Watches are obsolete, and so are the two of you.
Nick: Hey. Obsolete? What does that even mean?
Boss: Everything’s computerized now. It’s cheaper for a machine to tell these companies what to order than a manufacturer’s rep. They don’t need us anymore.
Nick: No, people have a deep mistrust of machines.
Billy: That’s right.
Nick: Have you seen Terminator?
Billy: Yep. Mmhmm. All of them.
Nick: Or 2 or 3 or 4? People want to deal with people, not Terminators.
Boss: People hate people. Times have changed.
& Boss: Strap it in, boys, ’cause it ain’t pretty out there. And you two are dinosaurs. Face it.
& Nick: Just when you think your day couldn’t get any worse, it got worse. I feel like my day bent me over, put a ball in my mouth and fucked me bad.
& Kevin: There he is. Nickrophiliac!
& Nick: Now, can we talk about this later?
Billy: No, we can’t talk about it later. The future doesn’t know later.
Nick: What are you..? All the future is, is later. That’s literally what the future is. It’s later.
& Nick: What are you talking about?
Billy: Google... The place is amazing. They got nap pods, they got massage rooms, they got a volleyball court. They got the whole nine. It’s ranked as the greatest place to work at in America.
& Allison: Um, we’re gonna ask you a few questions that some of our candidates find a little bit odd.
Nick: Let’s get weird!
Billy: No judgment. Shoot.
Benjamin: You’re shrunken down to the size of nickels and dropped to the bottom of a blender. What do you do?
& Benjamin: What type of computer do you use for your coding ability?
Billy: Coding ability?
Benjamin: Uh, yeah. Uh, under computer skills, you put “Cplusplus. ”
Billy: That’s actually a Cplus.
Benjamin: What’s that?
Billy: Well, the second plus is to reflect my attitude of how I felt about the Cplus. But it’s a Cplus. It was a typing class. You know, same principle, just not the engine inside the baby there. But it was more like “quick brown fox.” You know, put your hands in the basin, and crushing it like that. But that helped me out a lot when I, as I started my journey into computers because I already knew where to put my hands, clearly.
& Billy: Would I be wrong to call you my brother?
Nick: Of course not. I’d do anything for my little show pony. Look at me. Anything.
Billy: I’m gonna need you to ice my balls for me. ... Brother!
& Stuart: Oh, the whole world looks like a giant pinwheel of death right now.
Nick: Price of making memories, Stewie.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Σ Not a masterpiece. Although it should be noted, 100% of screen time are purest sales. Impressive.
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