The Hofstadter Insufficiency

The Big Bang Theory 7×1

& Leonard: Sheldon, it’s not a great time! What do you want?
    Sheldon: Hello to you, too. I’m sorry, but this is important.
    Leonard: What is it?
    Sheldon: Back to the Future II was in the Back to the Future III case... and Back to the Future III was— get this— in the Back to the Future II case.
    Leonard: So?
    Sheldon: So, did you do that, or am I in the house with an intruder?

& Sheldon: What was that?
    Leonard: What was what?
    Sheldon: This isn’t a very good connection, but it sounded like someone just released a kraken.

& Sheldon: Perhaps I should sleep here so you don’t miss Leonard as much, uh, ’cause you’re being kind of a baby about it.
    Penny: You know what?.. That would make me feel better. Thank you.
    Sheldon: You’re welcome.

& Raj: I think you’d be pleased to hear that this morning in the parking garage, I saw this oil stain on the ground that was shaped just like my ex-girlfriend, Lucy, and I didn’t get upset at all.

& Sheldon: Dear Lord! You’re an astronomer. Although you may have earthly woes, get your mind back on the stars. Gee, even the lowly dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
    Raj: Is that true?
    Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating feces, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. So pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.

& Raj: How can I meet someone new when everywhere I look, I see Lucy’s face? Tell me you don’t see her smile in the crust of this chicken pot pie.

& Sheldon: Penny, did you ever wonder how Starfleet captains...
    Penny: No.
    Sheldon: Well, now that I’ve piqued your interest, welcome to the exciting world of 3D chess.

& Penny: I get it, I get it. You are an emotionless robot.
    Sheldon: Well, I try.

---

& Howard: All right. How’d it go?
    Raj: Well, if you like dry, factual statements interspersed with painful moments of silence, it was bananas.

& Howard: Check it out. Mrs. Davis from Human Resources is here. She’s probably on the lookout for sexual harassment.
    Raj: Oh, great. There go my chances of being sexually harassed.

& Raj: You know, I recently read a fascinating article on infidelity among penguins.
    Mrs. Davis from Human Resources: Okay.
    Raj: So if the fact that your husband left you makes you feel unattractive, just remember, penguins get cheated on, and they’re adorable.
    Howard: .... It was better when you couldn’t talk to women.

& Bernadette: To the advancement of science.
    Amy: And to the sick and dying who make it possible.

& Amy: No, tell me, I want to know what you meant.
    Bernadette: I just meant that you’re not married and your boyfriend’s kind of... Sheldon.
    Amy: And your husband is extremely Howard.

& Penny: I can’t believe it! All this time I’ve been doing nothing but sit around and miss that guy. And you know what the worst part is?
    Sheldon: That you’re having to process your emotional pain without vodka?
    Penny: No!.. Yes. But you know what the second-worst part is? He does not miss me at all.
    Sheldon: Allow me to comfort you... At least you’ve got your health.
    Penny: Really? Tha-That’s it? That’s comforting?
    Sheldon: Um, uh, in a hundred years, you’ll both be dead and it won’t matter?

& Penny: Sheldon, you are right. I’m really sorry. I should’ve known better.
    Sheldon: Your apology is accepted.
    Penny: Thank you. How about a hug?
    Sheldon: How about a hearty handshake?

& Raj: I came here tonight in a futile attempt to pick up some lonely postdoc, but instead I got to connect with you at a human level. That’s a much better evening. You’re a lovely person.
    Mrs. Davis from Human Resources: Are you hitting on me?
    Raj: No, no, no, that would be crazy! I mean, if I were hitting on you, you’d know it ’cause you’d feel uncomfortable and a little sad for me.

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