1 окт. 2013 г.

Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

Two and a Half Men 7×15

& Alan: Well done. You sublimated your anger... and came from a place of love. Took the high road.
    Charlie: Really? Is that what you call it? Because I call it... a complete and total betrayal of my testicles.
    Alan: .... If you’d done it as much as I had, you’d call it the high road.

& Charlie: What the hell is that?
    Jake: Two guys in a cage beating the snot out of each other. I can’t believe I wasted so many years watching cartoons.

& Jake: Why are you on the couch? You have a fight?
    Charlie: No, we didn’t have a fight.
    Jake: Were you farting in your sleep?
    Charlie: No.
    Jake: Did you screw up the sex?
    Charlie: What the hell are you talking about?
    Jake: There’s more than one way to satisfy a woman...
    Charlie: Really? Like what?
    Jake: I’m not sure. But I have some theories.


& Alan: Oh, Charlie, what’d you do?
    Charlie: Nothing.
    Alan: Nothing?
    Charlie: I may have compared Brad’s recently deceased wife to a ball-chasing dog.
    Alan: Whose balls?

& Evelyn: Charlie, please don’t let this girl get away.
    Charlie: Don’t worry, I won’t.
    Evelyn: Good, because she’s one in a million and you’re a dime a dozen.
    Charlie: Yeah, but I’m the underdog and everybody loves the underdog.
    Evelyn: Oh, God, now you sound like your brother... How do you plan on getting her back?
    Charlie: I’m gonna become a better man.
    Evelyn: Great, so no plan at all.

& Alan: What’s the forecast?
    Charlie: High tonight, low tomorrow. A hundred percent chance of hangover.

& Charlie: I don’t wanna be alone.
    Alan: All right. You’re wearing pajama bottoms, right?
    Charlie: Shh.
    Alan: Exactly how drunk are you? ... Both questions asked and answered.

& Evelyn: I just have one question.
    Charlie: What’s that?
    Evelyn: Did you really vomit on a baby? ... Don’t beat yourself up too much. We’ve all done that.
    Charlie: You’re kidding!
    Evelyn: Of course, most of us do it on our own babies...

--
On the IMDb

Σ T'was really fast departing.

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