Two and a Half Men 7×15
Charlie: Really? Is that what you call it? Because I call it... a complete and total betrayal of my testicles.
Alan: .... If you’d done it as much as I had, you’d call it the high road.
& Charlie: What the hell is that?
Jake: Two guys in a cage beating the snot out of each other. I can’t believe I wasted so many years watching cartoons.
& Jake: Why are you on the couch? You have a fight?
Charlie: No, we didn’t have a fight.
Jake: Were you farting in your sleep?
Charlie: No.
Jake: Did you screw up the sex?
Charlie: What the hell are you talking about?
Jake: There’s more than one way to satisfy a woman...
Charlie: Really? Like what?
Jake: I’m not sure. But I have some theories.
& Alan: Oh, Charlie, what’d you do?
Charlie: Nothing.
Alan: Nothing?
Charlie: I may have compared Brad’s recently deceased wife to a ball-chasing dog.
Alan: Whose balls?
& Evelyn: Charlie, please don’t let this girl get away.
Charlie: Don’t worry, I won’t.
Evelyn: Good, because she’s one in a million and you’re a dime a dozen.
Charlie: Yeah, but I’m the underdog and everybody loves the underdog.
Evelyn: Oh, God, now you sound like your brother... How do you plan on getting her back?
Charlie: I’m gonna become a better man.
Evelyn: Great, so no plan at all.
& Alan: What’s the forecast?
Charlie: High tonight, low tomorrow. A hundred percent chance of hangover.
& Charlie: I don’t wanna be alone.
Alan: All right. You’re wearing pajama bottoms, right?
Charlie: Shh.
Alan: Exactly how drunk are you? ... Both questions asked and answered.
& Evelyn: I just have one question.
Charlie: What’s that?
Evelyn: Did you really vomit on a baby? ... Don’t beat yourself up too much. We’ve all done that.
Charlie: You’re kidding!
Evelyn: Of course, most of us do it on our own babies...
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On the IMDb
Σ T'was really fast departing.
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