& Ashburn: You know, they loved these houses during the Prohibition Era. You guys know what prohibition is, don’t you?
Tough Guy #2: Yeah, selling your ass for money?
Tough Guy #1: Really?
NY Agent: Really?
Ashburn: No. No, it was, uh, alcohol.
& Police Dispatch: Hey, Mullins. Captain wants to know when you’re coming in.
Mullins: Hey, you know what? Tell him I’ll be there sharply at, uh, go-fuck-yourself o’clock. Okay? If there’s no traffic.
& Mullins: I’ll shut the door on you. You lay down here and put your head in the door. And I’ll slam it about 157,000 times.
Ω Must be 157,200.
& Mullins: Maybe they’re in here. Maybe they’re in here... Nope, they’re not in there. Let me see.
Ashburn: What is she doing?
Mullins: They’re not under there.
Captain Woods: She’s looking for my balls.
Ashburn: Oh.
Mullins: Hey, if anyone sees the captain’s balls, let me know! They’re about this big, but a lot tinier. They’re like a pea, or like a, like a ball bearing, or like, if you’ve ever seen a mouse ball, about half that size. Incredibly tiny. They’re like really, really tiny, little girl balls, if little girls had balls. So if you find little, tiny, girl balls that are so fucking tiny and shriveled up, let me know, ’cause I’ll put them right back up his scrotum!
& Mullins: Thank you. Hey, America thanks you.
Ashburn: And I, it.
Mullins: And it, you.
& Ashburn: I’m a trained interviewer.
Mullins: “Interviewer”? What are you, fucking Barbara Walters? I just thought we were gonna go in there and bring in some heat on her.
Ashburn: I’m sorry, w- what is... what does that even mean?
Mullins: What does that mean? Me and you, we’re the heat. We go in there, we interrogate her, we scare the shit out of her...
Ashburn: See, we don’t say “interrogation. ” It’s, it’s much too aggressive. Rule number one: catch more with sugar than a stick.
Mullins: That’s a horrible fucking saying.
& Mullins: I... my fear is that I’m gonna put you in a bikini and you’ll still look like a fucking bank teller.
Ashburn: Okay, do you have to use that language, do you?
Mullins: I’m trying to make a point. I’m saying your face and whatever is underneath this shitty outfit is maybe not terrible.
& Ashburn: What the “F”?!
& Mullins: Who the fuck are you?
Peter: That’s Gina.
Mullins: Well, tell Gina I’m going to strangle her at the table.
Beth: Hey, she is my best friend. You touch her, you got to go through me first.
Mullins: Who the fuck are you? I’ll kill you and kill her with your fucking dead body!
& Ashburn: Um, I forgot to get your number.
LeSoire: Cool. Yeah. Uh, it’s 1-800-give-me-your-fucking-guns.
Ashburn: That’s... that’s, uh... that’s... that’s too many numbers.
& Mullins: Fuck that guy. Right? If you’re not in trouble, you’re not doing your job.
& Mullins: We should go get a drink. Right? What’s the point of being a cop if you can’t get one drink at the end of the night?
& Mullins: It’s not you; it’s me. Uh, I’m still working on myself, so I can’t be a part of two until I’m a better one.
Robin: Okay, don’t. You don’t have to do that.
Mullins: Uh, wait, I still... my favorite’s coming. Oh. You make me want to be a better woman... We did have a lot of fun. And now we’re going to move on... Let it go.
& Ashburn: You cannot take that car. It’s government property.
Wayne: Oh, yeah? Well, I pay taxes, so fuck the government!
Ashburn: Let’s not, okay?
& Mullins: God, I hope a truck hits us and we all die.
& Ashburn: Why don’t you have your own phone?
Mullins: Who am I, the Queen of England?
Ashburn: I don’t know, does the Queen of England only wear sweatpants?
Mullins: Fuck you.
Ashburn: You... “F” you.
& Dealer: Hey. I think it’d be much more better if you put your hands up.
Ashburn: “Much more better”? Drop the gun and take a grammar course, you idiot.
Dealer: Who the fuck are you?
Ashburn: Me and her? We’re the fuckin’ heat.
& Mullins: Are you hungry? I got a sandwich I didn’t finish.
Ashburn: Is that the same sandwich you offered me a week ago?
Mullins: It’s cheese. Cheese doesn’t go bad.
& Julian: Put the fucking guns down.
Mullins: No, thanks.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Σ Could be “Much more better”.
Tough Guy #2: Yeah, selling your ass for money?
Tough Guy #1: Really?
NY Agent: Really?
Ashburn: No. No, it was, uh, alcohol.
& Police Dispatch: Hey, Mullins. Captain wants to know when you’re coming in.
Mullins: Hey, you know what? Tell him I’ll be there sharply at, uh, go-fuck-yourself o’clock. Okay? If there’s no traffic.
& Mullins: I’ll shut the door on you. You lay down here and put your head in the door. And I’ll slam it about 157,000 times.
Ω Must be 157,200.
& Mullins: Maybe they’re in here. Maybe they’re in here... Nope, they’re not in there. Let me see.
Ashburn: What is she doing?
Mullins: They’re not under there.
Captain Woods: She’s looking for my balls.
Ashburn: Oh.
Mullins: Hey, if anyone sees the captain’s balls, let me know! They’re about this big, but a lot tinier. They’re like a pea, or like a, like a ball bearing, or like, if you’ve ever seen a mouse ball, about half that size. Incredibly tiny. They’re like really, really tiny, little girl balls, if little girls had balls. So if you find little, tiny, girl balls that are so fucking tiny and shriveled up, let me know, ’cause I’ll put them right back up his scrotum!
& Mullins: Thank you. Hey, America thanks you.
Ashburn: And I, it.
Mullins: And it, you.
& Ashburn: I’m a trained interviewer.
Mullins: “Interviewer”? What are you, fucking Barbara Walters? I just thought we were gonna go in there and bring in some heat on her.
Ashburn: I’m sorry, w- what is... what does that even mean?
Mullins: What does that mean? Me and you, we’re the heat. We go in there, we interrogate her, we scare the shit out of her...
Ashburn: See, we don’t say “interrogation. ” It’s, it’s much too aggressive. Rule number one: catch more with sugar than a stick.
Mullins: That’s a horrible fucking saying.
& Mullins: I... my fear is that I’m gonna put you in a bikini and you’ll still look like a fucking bank teller.
Ashburn: Okay, do you have to use that language, do you?
Mullins: I’m trying to make a point. I’m saying your face and whatever is underneath this shitty outfit is maybe not terrible.
& Ashburn: What the “F”?!
& Mullins: Who the fuck are you?
Peter: That’s Gina.
Mullins: Well, tell Gina I’m going to strangle her at the table.
Beth: Hey, she is my best friend. You touch her, you got to go through me first.
Mullins: Who the fuck are you? I’ll kill you and kill her with your fucking dead body!
& Ashburn: Um, I forgot to get your number.
LeSoire: Cool. Yeah. Uh, it’s 1-800-give-me-your-fucking-guns.
Ashburn: That’s... that’s, uh... that’s... that’s too many numbers.
& Mullins: Fuck that guy. Right? If you’re not in trouble, you’re not doing your job.
& Mullins: We should go get a drink. Right? What’s the point of being a cop if you can’t get one drink at the end of the night?
& Mullins: It’s not you; it’s me. Uh, I’m still working on myself, so I can’t be a part of two until I’m a better one.
Robin: Okay, don’t. You don’t have to do that.
Mullins: Uh, wait, I still... my favorite’s coming. Oh. You make me want to be a better woman... We did have a lot of fun. And now we’re going to move on... Let it go.
& Ashburn: You cannot take that car. It’s government property.
Wayne: Oh, yeah? Well, I pay taxes, so fuck the government!
Ashburn: Let’s not, okay?
& Mullins: God, I hope a truck hits us and we all die.
& Ashburn: Why don’t you have your own phone?
Mullins: Who am I, the Queen of England?
Ashburn: I don’t know, does the Queen of England only wear sweatpants?
Mullins: Fuck you.
Ashburn: You... “F” you.
& Dealer: Hey. I think it’d be much more better if you put your hands up.
Ashburn: “Much more better”? Drop the gun and take a grammar course, you idiot.
Dealer: Who the fuck are you?
Ashburn: Me and her? We’re the fuckin’ heat.
& Mullins: Are you hungry? I got a sandwich I didn’t finish.
Ashburn: Is that the same sandwich you offered me a week ago?
Mullins: It’s cheese. Cheese doesn’t go bad.
& Julian: Put the fucking guns down.
Mullins: No, thanks.
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Σ Could be “Much more better”.
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