The Big Bang Theory 7×5
& Penny: How do you not tear off his clothes and take him right here on this table?
Sheldon: If you do that, I’ll scream.
& Amy: Well, this project would have us working in close proximity to one another. And there’s the vulgar adage that one should not defecate where one eats.
Sheldon: My father used to say that all the time. That and, um, “Who does one have to orally gratify to get a drink around here?” But what does that have to do with you working at the university?
Amy: .... Sheldon, “Don’t defecate where you eat,” means don’t have a romantic relationship in the workplace.
Sheldon: Really?
& Penny: You know, not a lot of people know this, but the monoamine oxidase enzyme was discovered by a woman, Mary Bernheim. .... That’s right. My phone is just as smart as you guys.
& Sheldon: Amy, Bernadette, Penny. Amy, Bernadette, Penny. Amy, Bernadette, Penny.
Bernadette: He’s never gonna stop doing that, is he?
Amy: I don’t mind. I’m hoping to put his love of repetition to good use someday.
& Raj: His only options here are to fake a heart attack or have a real one.
& Howard: My point is, I’m sure there are things about me that would drive you crazy if you had to deal with them all day long.
Bernadette: Like looking me in the eye and lying to me?
Howard: Oh, well, come on, I just... Where am I supposed to look when I lie to you?
Bernadette: Find somewhere else to sleep tonight!
& Howard: You know, Sheldon, none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t tried to help you.
Sheldon: Uh, it also wouldn’t have happened if, in the early universe, hydrogen was a little more common or a little less common. This is fun. Your turn.
& Amy: And this is Dr. Gunderson from Stockholm.
Sheldon: Ah, Sweden. Yeah, home of my favorite Muppet and, uh, second favorite meatball. ... Okay, the Nordic reputation for lack of humor is well-founded. Boy, is his name Gunderson or No-Funderson?
& Sheldon: Oh, please, I’m your boyfriend. You call me Sheldon. That’s right, I am in a boy-girl relationship with this cute little lump of wool.
Amy: Sheldon...
Sheldon: It’s a physical relationship, too. Hand-holding, hugging... even on hot days. Ow. Okay, here’s a new one. Apparently now we kick each other in the shin under the table.
& Sheldon: What on earth are you talking about? My behavior in the cafeteria was delightful. Maybe your friend Gunderson needs to head over to IKEA and assemble a sense of humor.
& Sheldon: I’m starting to get the sense that you’re angry with me.
Amy: Really? What tipped you off?
Sheldon: Couple things, actually. Your tone of voice, your body language...
Amy: Get out.
Sheldon: Well, now, that.
& Sheldon: Well, can you believe she said I embarrassed her?
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: But you didn’t even hear the details!
Leonard: Sheldon... I’ve known you a long time, and I’m going to tell you this with all the love I can possibly muster... Amy’s right. You’re wrong.
Sheldon: But you don’t even know...
Leonard: Doesn’t matter.
Sheldon: But, now, but in my defense...
Leonard: Doesn’t matter.
Sheldon: You’re not listening to my side of it!
Penny: Okay, fine, Sheldon. What is your side?
Sheldon: Well...
Penny: Nope, got to go with Amy on this one.
& Sheldon: Amy, this isn’t easy to say. All relationships are difficult, but even more so when you’re in one with a person who struggles with everyday social interactions. And frankly... who can strike some people as being kind of a weirdo.
Amy: Sheldon... you’re not a weirdo.
Sheldon: I wasn’t speaking about me.
& Sheldon: ...Breaking the ice with your colleagues using ethnic humor, the funniest kind of humor.
& Sheldon: My point is, we’re a couple. And... I like you for who you are. Quirks and all.
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On the IMDb
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