This Is the End

& Seth Rogen: Gluten’s a vague term. It’s something that’s used to categorize things that are bad, you know? Calories, that’s a gluten. Fat, that’s a gluten.
    Jay Baruchel: Somebody just told you you probably shouldn’t eat gluten, you’re like, “Oh, I guess I shouldn’t eat gluten.”
    Seth Rogen: Gluten means bad shit, man, and I’m not eating it. ........ Mmm! Mmm-hmm. Oh! God! Each bite is better than the previous bite.
    Jay Baruchel: It is. Gluten!

& Jay Baruchel: Seth Rogen, you are just the best people.

& Jay Baruchel: I’m not a big art guy.
    James Franco: You don’t like art? Well, come on... You play video games?
    Jay Baruchel: Yes.
    James Franco: Well, guess what, buddy? You like art... You ever been to Subway?
    Jay Baruchel: Yes.
    James Franco: You order a sandwich? Somebody put that together for you, dude. That’s art. Sandwich artist. So, let me lay this on you, Jay... Your mama’s pussy was the canvas. Your Dad’s dick was the paintbrush. Boom. You’re the art.

& Jonah Hill: A huge earthquake happens. Who do they rescue first? Actors. Famous people. They’ll get Clooney, Sandra Bullock, me. If there’s room, you guys’ll come.

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& Jonah Hill: Dick to butt?
    Jay Baruchel: No!
    Jonah Hill: My butt to you and then Jay.
    Seth Rogen: I don’t want to butt to dick to anything.
    Jonah Hill: Are you docking into me? You’re doing tip to me? Or what are you doing?
    Seth Rogen: Should we go butt to butt or dick to...
    Jonah Hill: Seth and I are gonna go ass to ass. Do you want to go front to front?
    Jay Baruchel: No, I’m fine just going dicks up.
    Jonah Hill: Dicks up?
    Seth Rogen: I think I’m going dick to ass.
    Jonah Hill: You know what? I’m going Scarface-style. Both of you guys. This is the best way.

& James Franco: Want to know something else, Jay? If this is the end of the world, and all the good people died, what you’re saying is Seth, me, Jonah, Craig and Danny are a bunch of assholes.
    Craig Robinson: I’m straight-up lovable, son.
    James Franco: And if this really is the Apocalypse, you’re here, too. So, that means you’re just as shitty as the rest of us. Doesn’t feel too good, does it?

& Seth Rogen: Freaks forever, brother. Let’s do all the drugs.
    Jay Baruchel: I don’t really want to.
    Seth Rogen: Should have thought of that before you drank a can full of ecstasy.

& Jay Baruchel: Out there, in your travels, uh, did you see anything that you would describe as Apocalyptish?
    Emma Watson: I mean, no, but, uh, I would say it’s completely obvious what’s going on here. I mean, it’s a zombie invasion.

& Seth Rogen: Here’s what I think we should do. She’s British, right? She’s used to eating shitty food anyway. Let’s just give her all the shitty food that we don’t want.

& Jay Baruchel: I was referring to the issue that’s on all of our minds.
    James Franco: What?
    Jay Baruchel: This is one girl in a house with six males.
    James Franco: Yeah. Really safe.
    Seth Rogen: Ideal scenario.
    Craig Robinson: She’s like a little sister.

& Jay Baruchel: Okay. Uh... Any volunteers?
    Jonah Hill: Does anyone want to volunteer and go with Jay?

& Jay Baruchel: Okay. So we should probably split up, cover more ground.
    Craig Robinson: What you think this is, Scooby-Doo?

& Craig Robinson: That’s Heaven. Anything you could think of is yours.

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+ quotes on the IMDb

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