& Wendy the Realtor: ... And once again you just nodded. Just like you are right now. This is how the real estate crisis happened.
& Jimmy: Man, it’s just easier with boys, you know? Like, when a boy gets laid, it’s awesome. When a girl gets laid, it’s bad.
Mac: That’s not true.
Jimmy: You want your daughter to have sex? You’re gonna be like, «Hey, Jimmy, good news. Stella just got fucked. Come on over let’s have some beers.»
& Teddy: ’Sup, neighbours?
Mac: Teddy?!
Teddy: Welcome to soon enough.
Mac: What does that mean?
Teddy: You don’t remember when I told you that you’d find out soon enough?
& Dean Carol Gladstone: There’s no such thing as reverse sexism, Mr. White Man.
Mac: Oh, okay. Hey, don’t talk to me like that, because I am Jewish. I am a minority.
Dean Carol Gladstone: Well, less of you. Like Labradoodles.
& Shelby’s Dad: Is that a dildo dressed as a princess?
Mac: Nope. That is a popular children’s cartoon character of today.
& Mac: Guys, a play on a classic. We «hoes before bros» them...
Kelly: That’s not gonna work... Because you put hoes before bros. Always.
Mac: It worked with the guys. Why won’t it work with the girls?
Kelly: Because girls are much smarter than guys!
Mac: That is sexist!
Paula: That’s not sexist... Not when it’s against guys. That’s not sexist.
Mac: I don’t even know what’s sexist.
Kimmy: Hey, men’s rights.
Mac: No, fuck you!
& Teddy: You know what? Those sisters are better brothers to me than you ever were.
& Mac: Now, we add the eggs, and we hard-boil them, okay?
Teddy: Don’t put the eggs in there. It’s gonna melt them.
Mac: No, it hard-boils them. It makes them hard.
Teddy: Why would it make eggs hard?.. It makes pasta soft.
Mac: Whoa. That’s a good point.
& Mac: Let’s do what parents do better than anything. Stop. Young people. From having fun!
& Teddy: I’m not losing a best friend, I’m gaining a best friend’s husband.
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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