Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 4×18
♪ West Covina ♪
♪ California ♪
♪ In my soul I feel a fire ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm headed for the pride of the Inland Empire— ♪
♪ Actually, it's not in the Inland Empire ♪
♪ It's in the San Gabriel Valley ♪
♪ I should have taken five seconds to Google that ♪
♪ Before I wrote the first song of the television show ♪
♪ I'm hopelessly ♪
♪ Desperately in love with ♪
♪ Everybody ♪
Rachel Bloom: We are so excited to present to you just some of the 157 songs that we... I know, I know... Uh, from the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songbook.
Rachel Bloom: Now, uh, because this whole concert has to air in 42 minutes on The CW, we have to be very expeditious, so I am going to both introduce the show and change into my next outfit...
Rachel Bloom: And now... I am changed. Coming up is a song that manages to be both feminist and anti-feminist at the same time.
Gabrielle Ruiz: Here's your jacket, bitch!
♪ Let's generalize about men ♪
♪ Let's generalize about men ♪
♪ Let's take one bad thing ♪
♪ About one man ♪
♪ And apply it to all of them ♪
♪ I'm a good person, yes, it's true ♪
♪ I'm a good person, better than you ♪
♪ I'm a good person, can't you see? ♪
♪ Doctors Without Borders don't have nothing on me ♪
♪ I'm a good person, that's my thing ♪
♪ My nickname is Mother Teresa Luther King ♪
♪ I'm a good person, get it straight ♪
♪ And when I say "good" ♪
♪ I really mean "great" ♪
Donna Lynne Champlin: I got the pretty dress, y'all.
Pete Gardner: So how about we show a little bi pride, huh?
♪ When I was a little girl ♪
♪ I felt like a princess ♪
♪ So naive and full of hope ♪
♪ I thought my dreams would come true ♪
♪ But then as I grew ♪
♪ The world was all like ♪
♪ "Nope" ♪
♪ Maybe this dream ♪
♪ Won't lead to disgrace ♪
♪ Maybe this dream ♪
♪ Is in reach ♪
♪ Maybe this dream ♪
♪ Won't poop on my face ♪
♪ Like a seagull ♪
♪ At the beach ♪
Pete Gardner: So how about we show a little bi pride, huh?
♪ I'm g-g-g-g-gettin' bi ♪
♪ I'm gettin' bi ♪
♪ I'm gettin' bi, I'm gettin' bi ♪
♪ It doesn't take an intellectual ♪
♪ To get that I'm bisexual. ♪
Rachel Bloom: This is a metaphor for something, but I don't know what.
Rachel Bloom: And so we here at Crazy Sex-Girlfriend... ha! We've prepared for you a little... sex medley.
♪ Strip away my conscience ♪
♪ Peel away my values ♪
♪ Rip off my compassion with your teeth ♪
♪ Pound away my morals ♪
♪ Spank off all my kindness, ooh! ♪
Rachel Bloom: Michael, no, that song was about pleasing a woman.
Michael McMillian: What's a woman?
Rachel Bloom: Oh, boy. This might not be the right time to... do this medley. Unless you want to have...
♪ Period sex ♪
♪ Period sex ♪
♪ Put down a towel ♪
♪ Party till it's dry ♪
♪ With some period sex ♪
Scott Michael Foster: Speaking of getting off...
♪ I don't know what happened ♪
♪ Maybe you lost some water weight ♪
♪ For some reason, you're now on the top of my to-do list ♪
♪ Let's get this over with ♪
♪ So I can focus on other tasks ♪
♪ Let's have intercourse ♪
♪ Just pretend I'm seducing you ♪
Gabrielle Ruiz: You guys, you guys, we all know the most important part of yoga is the instructor. So let us take it back to season one Valencia, bitches.
♪ We're in a yoga class ♪
♪ Now is the time to let your mind go blank ♪
♪ And focus instead ♪
♪ On how awesome the yoga teacher is ♪
♪ Look at me, look at me ♪
♪ I'm so good at yo-o-o-oga ♪
♪ I do stuff with my body ♪
♪ That no human should be able to do ♪
♪ Like putting my face behind my knees ♪
♪ Turning my hands into a shoe ♪
♪ As the morning sun kisses the lotus ♪
♪ I kiss my own hoo-ha, can you do that? ♪
♪ Greet each day, namaste ♪
♪ Screw you, you're fat! ♪
Vella Lovell: So, no. So, Rachel, I'm actually not a musical theater person at all. Um, actually, singing and dancing makes me V uncomfortable, so... Oh, okay, Adam. Uh, guess you could just force me to sing a song that I don't want to...
♪ What does the future hold? ♪
♪ What will tomorrow... ♪
♪ Bring me... ♪
♪ In my life, I've had so many men ♪
♪ But there's one I come back to again and again ♪
♪ We've been on and off ♪
♪ For such a long time ♪
♪ And now he's back ♪
♪ And I'm feeling oh, so fine ♪
♪ You ruined everything ♪
♪ You stupid bitch ♪
♪ You ruined everything ♪
♪ You stupid, stupid bitch ♪
♪ You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things ♪
♪ And wants the world to burn ♪
♪ Bitch ♪
Danny Jolles: This is it. It's finally my turn.
♪ It's me ♪
♪ It's finally me ♪
♪ And no one can say a word ♪
♪ 'Cause this time, I stood up for myself ♪
♪ And I'll finally be heard ♪
♪ Danny won't be ignored ♪
♪ Danny won't be interrupted ♪
♪ Because this time, oh, my God ♪
♪ I finally get to fini... ♪
Danny Jolles: What? Son of a... Come on!
♪ Anti-depressants are so not a big deal ♪
♪ Big whoop, you're on an anti-depressant ♪
♪ Sweet cheeks, here's the deal ♪
♪ Welcome to the club with open admission ♪
♪ You're cast in the play that has no audition ♪
♪ Yes, everyone is special, that's usually the sitch ♪
♪ But when it comes to meds, you're such a basic bitch... ♪
Dr. Akopian: Watch them tap, y'all, they're fabulous.
♪ Anti-depressants ♪
♪ Are so common ♪
♪ That taking them is all we have in common. ♪
--
On the IMDb
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