I Was Flying

Avenue 5 1×1

Captain Ryan Clark: Have a great morning, everybody. Fly safe, fly true.

Ryan Clark: Good morning, Iris. Surrounded by stars, and yet still you shine...

Herman Judd: New idea. We'd sell more steaks if the restaurant was completely red. That's science, probably. Uh, check that it's science.

Herman Judd: Does yoga burn a lot of calories? Because we're losing profits in the food court. Can they, like, move more? Fast yoga?

Matt Spencer: Okay. Uh... Excusez-moi. Duty calls. But I would love to disperse your irritation. And I would love to hear more about Joyce's huge little toe, so, uh... let's circle back.
Karen Kelly: Okay, well, I will circle back in an hour.
Frank Kelly: She will. She's very persistent.
Matt Spencer: Well, I'm very absorbent.

Ryan Clark: Okay, everybody. Everything is fine! Everybody, stay calm. And pay attention to my words and not my tone.

Ryan Clark: Just keep breathing, all right? Keep breathing, everything will be fine.

Iris Kimura: So, we're through the worst?
Ryan Clark: Steady as the rock you're carved from, Iris. Just your standard Tuesday.

— Is the ship breaking down? Are we safe?
Matt Spencer: I am as ignorant as you— That sounds rude. I meant it to be self-deprecating.

Ryan Clark: Ladies, gentlemen, and fluids... Crisis over... We all have a cool story to tell our therapists and chiropractors.

Karen Kelly: Why is there a dead man in the sky?

Spike Martin: R.I.P. Joe. You're a star man now.

Iris Kimura: This may be the worst disaster since Google folded!
Ryan Clark: They'll figure this out. You know, they turned the moon into a massive jail, they patented the liquid glove. How hard can it be to reset a course?

Herman Judd: .21 degrees. That's, like, what, less than half a right angle? How can that make us three years late?

Billie McEvoy: Okay, who's the engineer here?
Herman Judd: Who's the genius?
Ryan Clark: Who's the captain?
Iris Kimura: Who fucked up?

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— Should we be scared?
Matt Spencer: Maybe, if... if you want.

Matt Spencer: I'm trained to make sure that your body wash gets replenished, not to rectify the catastrophe of human existence. So, worrying doesn't help, okay? Because the way you're acting right now, I'm finding you all extremely unenjoyable at this point! And I wish we were in separate rooms, and I hate being alone!

Ryan Clark: I was a bystander! I can be in the vicinity of a catastrophe, wearing a nice hat! Anything more than that, I'm out!

Ryan Clark: Am I Australian? No, I'm not Australian. I'll tell you what I am: I'm English.
Herman Judd: What the fuck?! That's so much worse!
Ryan Clark: Oh, really? You think that's worse? Well, this is worse even than that. I'm not a captain either.

Ryan Clark: This is a driverless ship. All right? I was hired just to... to give the passengers some reassurance. I think it's as insane as you do.
Herman Judd: And the American accent?
Ryan Clark: I... I dunno. Passengers find American more reassuring. God knows why.

Herman Judd: You see this little piece of floor over here? More useful than you!

Ryan Clark: Look! I am doing exactly what I was employed to do. Not one molecule of this is my fault!

Herman Judd: All right, Captain... Not America.

Ryan Clark: Joe's social skills were... I mean, the man could barely finish. In terms of sentences.

Ryan Clark: Okay. So, here's the thing: I'm going to assemble the crew, and do some reassurance on them.

Karen Kelly: So, we've got an S-storm brewing, and this A-hole is not helping.

Ryan Clark: No, I've got a plan. Just... go in there and smile. Works every time.

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