Young Sheldon 3×12
Sheldon: Wait a minute. Last time you gave me a present for no reason, I had to get a booster shot.
Sheldon: Sharing. Sometimes I feel like you don't know me...
Mary: ...I think she could really use a friend.
Sheldon: A crocodile could really use a meal, but that doesn't mean I should leap into his mouth.
Mary: Shelly, I am asking you to do this for me...
Adult Sheldon: This was the woman who cut the crusts off my sandwiches. She had me.
Sheldon: Into the mouth I go.
Georgie: I'm working out. Got the word "work" right there in it.
George: Damn it, Georgie, I'm trying to teach you responsibility. You can't just buy your way out of everything in life.
Georgie: You sure? 'Cause I'll give you ten bucks to leave me alone right now.
Missy: Mom doesn't like the mall. She says the mannequins don't have enough clothes on, but I think it's 'cause we're poor.
Sheldon: We are poor. I do our taxes.
Paige: Don't worry. I'll ask her. Ever since my parents got divorced, people can't say no to me.
Missy: Will you marry me?
Sheldon: This is my mall safety kit. Earplugs to drown out crowd noise, Wet-Naps to wipe down escalator handrails, a compass, a map of the mall, and a whistle, in case I get lost or approached by a woman holding a perfume bottle.
Sheldon: Why would I steal glitter? I already have a sparkling personality.
Meemaw: Your dad is a grown man. He doesn't want his kid giving him money.
Georgie: So he's glad I'm making money, but I'm not allowed to use that money to help him out? I don't get it.
Meemaw: Well, someday, when you have a bunch of sweaty, mullet-headed kids running around, you will.
Georgie: Oh, I ain't never having kids.
Meemaw: Well, that's the smartest thing I ever heard you say.
Georgie: Thank you.
Dr. Sturgis: Hello, Sheldon. How are you doing?
Sheldon: Confused, upset, annoyed, and potentially in trouble with the law.
Dr. Sturgis: Well, in which order would you like to handle this?
Sheldon: Let's start with confused, but if we hear sirens approaching, we'll jump ahead.
Sheldon: Do you ever wish that you weren't smart?
Dr. Sturgis: So I would be short, lonely and stupid? No, that seems worse.
Dr. Sturgis: Might I suggest, instead of trying to fix her problem, you just listen? When I was in the psychiatric ward, I learned that people who are struggling emotionally often just need to be heard.
Sheldon: Hmm. Sounds difficult, but I suppose I could try.
Dr. Sturgis: Another thing I learned in the hospital is that some people believe there are weird mole men living in tunnels deep inside the earth.
Missy: Ow! Is there a way to do this so it doesn't hurt?
Paige: No. Beauty is pain.
Adult Sheldon: It turned out I was really good at listening. The trick is to sit there, and when you want to leave, don't.
Adult Sheldon: The "Hot Beverage of Comfort" would become my go-to method of dealing with someone in emotional distress. And it always worked. Except when my wife was in labor, where it was suggested I throw it in my own face.
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