Rick and Morty 4x4
Rick: You know who's into dragons, Morty? Nerds that refuse to admit they're Christian.
Rick: Okay, dragon, here's the house rules—
Balthromaw: My name is Balthromaw, breaker of sky, slayer of mountain.
Rick: Rule one... you are now scooper of your own poops, or I will take you down like the black-light poster you are. I don't got any more rules. That's it.
Rick: Jerry, why would I give Morty a talking dragon and you a talking cat at the same time? Those concepts bump. If you're talking to a cat, it's an abnormal event unrelated to me like when you went to Pluto or fucked my daughter.
Talking Cat: Do you always need Rick to tell you what's going on? Maybe it's time you stopped asking questions and started having fun.
Morty: Nobody is commanding anybody. I love soaring through the sky with you as equals. W-What do you want to do?
Balthromaw: I want to enter my lair and sleep upon my hoard until the Age of Man expires.
Morty: Okay. Split the diff? 20-minute nap and soar through the sky?
Balthromaw: Ugh. As you command.
Morty: Why don't you admit you don't anyone else to be happy because you're a sad old fart?
Rick: How do you saddle a fart?
Balthromaw: I'm being summoned by Morty.
Rick: Yeah. He's, uh, texting me.
Balthromaw: Hmm. How are you responding?
Rick: Ugh, I tend not to, or maybe I'll send, like, a popular animated GIF that could be interpreted in almost any way.
Balthromaw: Brilliant.
Balthromaw: What's the saying? "Orcs work to live. Dwarves live to work."
Rick: So dumb. If there's ever a saying about me, I'll fly into the fucking Sun.
Balthromaw: Oh, you're small for a dragon, Rick.
Rick: Well, I sleep on an extra big pile of awesome shit.
Balthromaw: Then there will be sayings about you. Your lessers will hunt you down, and you will be owned or slain.
Rick: That's why they call it a dying breed, brother...
Rick: Morty, I can explain!...
Summer: Grandpa, do something, or I will tweet, and you will be canceled.
Morty: It takes, like, 78 years to hang a dragon to death, so...
Rick: Aw, man. It's so annoying. You ever, like, try to swallow a really big vitamin with no water? Ugh! You know, like... really, like, big one, you know, and it kind of gets, ugh, stuck in your throat?
Rick: Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't even look. Don't even bother looking. Just fucking let magic guide your arrow.
Morty: Summer, what the hell are you doing? Take this seriously!
Rick: Shut the fuck up, Morty. Stop trying to pretend like magic involves skill or thought. Summer, make it look like it's coming out of your butthole.
Rick: Maybe don't tell your parents we did this?
Balthromaw: I've been thinking. What you said back there in the cave really resonated with me. Maybe we could try again?
Morty: Look, to be honest, I'm kind of grossed out with the sexual nature of how everything unfolded. I didn't know how sexual dragons were. I kind of just wanted to do some D&D stuff, you know?
Balthromaw: And have a soul orgy with your sister and grandpa and every dragon we could find, yeah?
Morty: No, look, can you please just go? I-I-I really want to shower.
Balthromaw: Maybe a quick soul bone before I go...
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