Marvelous Radio

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 3×7

Midge: I'm coming, Susie, I'm coming!

Shirley: Susie? Who would name a boy Susie?

Midge: "Paramus Ford has the best deals in town. They're so good that even I can understand the savings... and I'm a woman!"
Dickie: Perfecto. Next.
Midge: "With its natural mildness and gorgeous aftertaste, more expectant mothers prefer Pall Mall cigarettes over any other brand".
Susie: Can they prove that?
Dickie: No idea. Next.
Midge: "Run to buy hosiery that never runs, at B. Altman's nylon sale. Ends Thursday". I used to work at B. Altman!
Dickie: Don't care. Next.

Dickie: Sign here... Got another housewife spot at 12:30, you interested?
Susie: We'll take it... Five bucks, we can retire now.

Midge: "...Ladies, stay fit and trim the easy way, with amphetamines, the pleasantest way to reduce".

Susie: This week we're on par to make about what we made last week, 35 bucks or so.
recording studio Dickie:

Moishe: Well, it's a masterpiece!
Abe: I'm sure it's a piece of something.

Abe: I don't need your money because I just completed my Abe and Rose "End of Days" calculations... It's quite simple: I've added up our projected pension and social security payments, matched them to our expenses, adjusted for inflation, and calculated the numbers of years your mother and I get to live.
Midge: Get to live?
Abe: For me, it's the age of 67.
Midge: But you're 62, so...
Abe: I have to die in five years.

Abe: ... Either which way, I need to be dead by 1965.

Sophie Lennon: I'm excited... Not as excited as I was for that ménage à trois with Vincent Price and Ethel Merman, but close.

Sophie Lennon: I'll see you at the opening, and we'll take that bow together. And by "we", I mean me.

Abe: Teaching is an act of generosity, and I was miserly. But I can't say that I haven't missed the joy of Socratic debate with you all. The pleasure one gets in witnessing young minds striving for truth, the singular wonder of it, the joy of personal discovery, with freedom to make mistakes and learn from them...

Abe: I think this change of pace was good for you men. I see now that this isn't where I belong. It's where you belong. Besides him, him, him, him, him, and him. I'll leave you to it, Professor. I'll leave you to it.

---

Susie: Does it pay? And not in tampons or corn syrup?

Rose: Miriam was just not the right girl for you. She was weird, yes, but there's weird and there's weird. And I thought I knew which weird she was, but apparently I didn't.

Rose: Have a very good life, Benjamin. Will you do that?

Rose: Benjamin, did you really buy a townhouse for the two of you?
Benjamin: Yes, but don't worry, I'm very rich.
Rose: That isn't helping.

Abe: You don't know me, but I have a piece published in today's New York Times. Please take one. The written word can change the world.

Joel: We'll round up some Jews for you, Rabbi.
Moishe: Don't say, "Round up Jews".
Joel: I know. It sounded wrong.

Astrid: There's nothing to be nervous about. Almost all boys are circumcised... Anyhow, the only difference is, this just isn't in a hospital, so the instruments aren't necessarily sterile, and the doctor is a man called a "mohel", who has no medical training, nope. But it's all right because they give the baby wine, so it's drunk. Oh, and you know what's funny? I had a dream last night that I was slicing carrots, and I cut off the tip of my finger, and it just bled and bled and bled and bled. And then I woke up, and it was fine, so...

Rabbi Krinsky: And how did you pick the name, Astrid?
Astrid: Well, first name "Chaim" for Abe's father, middle name "Christian" for my grandfather.
Rabbi Krinsky: It's unusual. The combination.

Abe: Phyllis Schlafly?
Midge: Yeah. She's a woman. She's running for something or other.
Abe: Congress. In Illinois.
Midge: You know her?
Abe: Of course I do. I've been published in The New York Times. This is not a good woman.
Midge: How so?
Abe: She's a right-wing nutjob. She's come out against Nixon.
Midge: Great. We don't like Nixon.
Abe: Because she thinks he's too left-wing.
Midge: That doesn't sound real.
Abe: She also said that Eisenhower only got in office because of "secret kingmakers" in New York. I'm not sure if you know what ethnicity she's referring to with the words "kingmakers" and "New York", but one of them just got part of his penis cut off.
Midge: Well, then she's an idiot.
Abe: She's not. That's what makes her dangerous.

Abe: If you're going to have a voice, you'd better be careful what that voice says.

Midge: I can't do this. This woman, this Schlafly woman... she's awful. I stopped by the library. I looked her up. She is racist and sexist and she uses way too much hairspray. I don't want to speak for her.

Midge: Susie, do you have any idea how horrible this woman is?
Susie: I think everybody's horrible.
Midge: Not as horrible as her.
Susie: But she's paying you, which makes me like her.

Midge: Is she supposed to be so quiet?
Susie: No, you're supposed to be able to hear it.

Susie: I can't watch. I can't watch.
Midge: I can't not.

Susie: You're a star, for now, but she is gonna be a goddamn legend!

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