I Have a Date Tonight

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 4×16

Rebecca: See? Perfection is an illusion.

Rebecca: I've retired from stalking, but you never lose the skills.

Dr. Akopian: Rebecca, as long as you stay grounded and present and open...
Rebecca: I think I can be all those things, yeah.
Dr. Akopian: Then I don't think there's any big harm in it.

Rebecca: Bunch and Akops, back together again!

Nathaniel: What? No. What can you do with $50? Park?

Greg: I do nothing. That's my special charm.

Valencia: Kevin's new breakfast specials are a huge hit. Take one dollar off anything, people lose their minds.

Darryl: Ooh, I don't have cash, but I do have Swiss francs... I always carry them with me. In case the economy collapses.

Valencia: I've spent so much time and energy on Rebecca's drama, the least I can do is make money off of it.

Paula: Let me sign up for something easy, like paper plates and plastic cutlery...
Louise: Are you out of your mind? Do you really think plastic cutlery is still available?! I got here this morning at 9:00, and I had to sign up to make kosher scones. Yeah. One Jew on our team, and I have to bake under the supervision of a rabbi.

Paula: "Salmon for 60"?!?!

Rebecca: Here I am, and I am staying grounded and realistic.

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Greg: I can't plan romantic things. I'm terrible at contrived stuff. I can't even sing "Happy Birthday." Other people sing it and I go, "Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah" because I find it so embarrassing. So, I can't do that.

Paula: She says... "It was perfect."

Paula: It says... "It was heaven."

Greg: That's it? I-I thought you were gonna give me more of a song and dance.
Bernie: From me? No, no, no, never..... Okay. Well, Th-there is one other thing. It's... J-Just a word of warning.
Greg: Warning?
Bernie: ♪ There's no ♪
♪ Bathroom, there's no bathroom ♪
♪ If she needs to use the bathroom ♪
♪ Tell her that there is no bathroom ♪
♪ Please don't pee in my balloon ♪
♪ This may be a bit more bumpy than a plane ride ♪
♪ Or a taxi, but I promise it is worth it ♪
♪ And your lady, she will swoon! ♪

Bernie: ♪ Please don't poop in my balloon! ♪
Greg: I wasn't planning on it.
Bernie: You know, it's-it's happened a couple times, and, uh, it's a nightmare. Ugh. Very hard to get poop out of wicker.

Rebecca: Follow what's in my heart?! What kind of therapist advice is that?

♪ Love is a game, love is a game ♪
♪ But I've never enjoyed playing any sort of game ♪
♪ I hate round objects ♪
♪ Flying at my head ♪

Greg: Do I like chilaquiles?
Rebecca: Yeah, of course you do, with the Verde.

Greg: Hey. You're the love of my life. You know that, right?
Rebecca: Well, I do now.

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