Batman: Black. All important movies start with a black screen... And music... Edgy, scary music that would make a parent or studio executive nervous... And logos... Really long and dramatic logos... Warner Bros. Why not "Warner Brothers"? I don't know... DC... The house that Batman built. Yeah, what, Superman? Come at me, bro. I'm your Kryptonite... Hmm... Not sure what RatPac does, but that logo is macho. I dig it... Okay. Get yourself ready for some... reading. "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change. Hooo." No. I said that. Batman is very wise. I also have huge pecs and a nine-pack. Yeah, I've got an extra ab. Now, let's start the movie...
Batman: Let me tell you something, J-bird. Batman doesn't do 'ships... As in "relationships." There is no "us." Batman and Joker are not a thing. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You mean nothing to me. No one does.
Alfred Pennyworth: Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now?
Batman: I don't talk about feelings, Alfred! I don't have any, I've never seen one. I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent.
Alfred Pennyworth: Master Bruce, you live on an island, figuratively and literally.
Batman: Yeah. I love it.
Alfred Pennyworth: You can't spend the rest of your life alone, dressed in black, listening to angry music, and staying up all night.
Batman: Yes, I can, 'cause I'm Batman.
Alfred Pennyworth: But don't you think it's time you finally faced your greatest fear?
Batman: Snakes?
Alfred Pennyworth: No.
Batman: Clowns?
Alfred Pennyworth: No.
Batman: Snake clowns?
Alfred Pennyworth: Bruce, listen. Your greatest fear is being a part of a family again.
Batman: Nope. Now it's snake clowns, because you put that idea in my head.
Barbara Gordon: Look. Batman's been on the job for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time—
Bruce Wayne: He has aged phenomenally.
Barbara Gordon: However, despite all the great work Batman has done for us, Gotham City is still the most crime-ridden city in the world.
Bruce Wayne: Hi. Bruce Wayne. Billionaire, bon vivant, gallivanter, playboy, Gotham's most eligible bachelor, like, 90 years in a row. That's me right there.
Barbara Gordon: I know who you are, Mr. Wayne.
Barbara Gordon: I'm not a Batman hater. But we don't need an unsupervised adult man karate-chopping poor people in a Halloween costume. We need to take what's good about Batman... and marry it to actual laws and proper ethics and accountability.
Bruce Wayne: I hate everything you just said.
Barbara Gordon: So, why don't you and I work together inside the law, to figure out what he's up to?
Batman: Batman works alone. That's my motto. Copyright Batman.
Dick Grayson: Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?
Batman: No. Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic.
Batman: We have to right a wrong. And, sometimes, in order to right a wrong, you have to do a wrong-right. Gandhi said that.
Dick Grayson: Are we sure Gandhi said that?
Batman: I'm paraphrasing.
Dick Grayson: Cool!
Dick Grayson: Whoo-hoo! A month ago, I had no dads. Then I had one dad. Now I have two dads! And one of them is Batman!
Batman: Yeah.
Dick Grayson: It's raining dads!
Batman: So, are you ready to follow Batman and maybe learn a few life lessons along the way?
Dick Grayson: I sure am, Dad Two! But first, where's the seatbelt?
Batman: The first lesson is, life doesn't give you seatbelts!
Batman: Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you how to masterbuild your way inside that thing...
Batman: Do you know what the B-A-T in Batman stands for?
Barbara Gordon: Not really.
Batman: Best At Teamwork. Best At Teamwork Man is my full name.
Brick Lady: Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy.
Batman: What are you talking about? I'm not a bad guy.
Brick Lady: But you're all in black. You have a cape. And you wear a big, scary mask.
Batman: Well, I'm not.
Brick Lady: And you kicked me in the face.
Batman: Listen, I'm Batman.
Brick Lady: Oof! You even sound like a bad guy.
Dick Grayson: I've gotta save my family! Just think... What would Batman do?... I know! Not listen to anyone else. Be mean to people. Destroy as much property as possible. Talk in a really low, gravelly voice. And go it alone.
Batman: Shut up, Joker! If there's no Gotham, then I'll never get to fight you again... You're the reason why I get up at 4:00 in the afternoon and pump iron until my chest is positively sick. You're the reason I've given up a life spent with Russian ballerinas and lady activewear models. And if it wasn't for you, I never would have learned how connected I am with all these people. And you.
Batman: I'm just gonna come right out and say it... I hate you, Joker.
Joker: I hate you, too.
Batman: I hate you more.
Joker: I hate you the most.
Batman: I hate you forever.
Batman: White. All important movies end with a white screen. And tying up loose ends... Like this snake clowns bit.
--
++ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks!
Σ nostradamvs: «Сценаристу – 10 баллов и бутылку виски. В этом фильме обстёбывается всё – комиксы DC и Marvel, герои Роулинг и Толкина, современная политика и супергеройское кино, это полтора часа шуток, гэгов, мозгожрачки и комедии с нормальными выводами и отличными живыми персонажами. Гораздо более живыми, чем во многих некукольных фильмах.»
Batman: Let me tell you something, J-bird. Batman doesn't do 'ships... As in "relationships." There is no "us." Batman and Joker are not a thing. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You mean nothing to me. No one does.
Alfred Pennyworth: Do you want to talk about how you're feeling right now?
Batman: I don't talk about feelings, Alfred! I don't have any, I've never seen one. I'm a night-stalking, crime-fighting vigilante, and a heavy metal rapping machine. I don't feel anything emotionally, except for rage. 24/7, 365, at a million percent.
Alfred Pennyworth: Master Bruce, you live on an island, figuratively and literally.
Batman: Yeah. I love it.
Alfred Pennyworth: You can't spend the rest of your life alone, dressed in black, listening to angry music, and staying up all night.
Batman: Yes, I can, 'cause I'm Batman.
Alfred Pennyworth: But don't you think it's time you finally faced your greatest fear?
Batman: Snakes?
Alfred Pennyworth: No.
Batman: Clowns?
Alfred Pennyworth: No.
Batman: Snake clowns?
Alfred Pennyworth: Bruce, listen. Your greatest fear is being a part of a family again.
Batman: Nope. Now it's snake clowns, because you put that idea in my head.
Barbara Gordon: Look. Batman's been on the job for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time—
Bruce Wayne: He has aged phenomenally.
Barbara Gordon: However, despite all the great work Batman has done for us, Gotham City is still the most crime-ridden city in the world.
Bruce Wayne: Hi. Bruce Wayne. Billionaire, bon vivant, gallivanter, playboy, Gotham's most eligible bachelor, like, 90 years in a row. That's me right there.
Barbara Gordon: I know who you are, Mr. Wayne.
Barbara Gordon: I'm not a Batman hater. But we don't need an unsupervised adult man karate-chopping poor people in a Halloween costume. We need to take what's good about Batman... and marry it to actual laws and proper ethics and accountability.
Bruce Wayne: I hate everything you just said.
Barbara Gordon: So, why don't you and I work together inside the law, to figure out what he's up to?
Batman: Batman works alone. That's my motto. Copyright Batman.
Dick Grayson: Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?
Batman: No. Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic.
Batman: We have to right a wrong. And, sometimes, in order to right a wrong, you have to do a wrong-right. Gandhi said that.
Dick Grayson: Are we sure Gandhi said that?
Batman: I'm paraphrasing.
Dick Grayson: Cool!
Dick Grayson: Whoo-hoo! A month ago, I had no dads. Then I had one dad. Now I have two dads! And one of them is Batman!
Batman: Yeah.
Dick Grayson: It's raining dads!
Batman: So, are you ready to follow Batman and maybe learn a few life lessons along the way?
Dick Grayson: I sure am, Dad Two! But first, where's the seatbelt?
Batman: The first lesson is, life doesn't give you seatbelts!
Batman: Okay, kid. I'm gonna teach you how to masterbuild your way inside that thing...
Batman: Do you know what the B-A-T in Batman stands for?
Barbara Gordon: Not really.
Batman: Best At Teamwork. Best At Teamwork Man is my full name.
Brick Lady: Welcome to the Phantom Zone, bad guy.
Batman: What are you talking about? I'm not a bad guy.
Brick Lady: But you're all in black. You have a cape. And you wear a big, scary mask.
Batman: Well, I'm not.
Brick Lady: And you kicked me in the face.
Batman: Listen, I'm Batman.
Brick Lady: Oof! You even sound like a bad guy.
Dick Grayson: I've gotta save my family! Just think... What would Batman do?... I know! Not listen to anyone else. Be mean to people. Destroy as much property as possible. Talk in a really low, gravelly voice. And go it alone.
Batman: Shut up, Joker! If there's no Gotham, then I'll never get to fight you again... You're the reason why I get up at 4:00 in the afternoon and pump iron until my chest is positively sick. You're the reason I've given up a life spent with Russian ballerinas and lady activewear models. And if it wasn't for you, I never would have learned how connected I am with all these people. And you.
Batman: I'm just gonna come right out and say it... I hate you, Joker.
Joker: I hate you, too.
Batman: I hate you more.
Joker: I hate you the most.
Batman: I hate you forever.
Batman: White. All important movies end with a white screen. And tying up loose ends... Like this snake clowns bit.
--
++ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks!
Σ nostradamvs: «Сценаристу – 10 баллов и бутылку виски. В этом фильме обстёбывается всё – комиксы DC и Marvel, герои Роулинг и Толкина, современная политика и супергеройское кино, это полтора часа шуток, гэгов, мозгожрачки и комедии с нормальными выводами и отличными живыми персонажами. Гораздо более живыми, чем во многих некукольных фильмах.»
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