Alt-Right Leader: I trusted you, man!
Fred Flarsky: Yeah, well... Jews win this round, motherfucker! Peace! Ow!
President Chambers: Oh, hey, Charlotte. You caught me watching my show. ... Oh, here it is.
— Not now... Not today. Not in my house.
President Chambers: Yes! I love that!
Charlotte Field: Oh, me too.
Charlotte Field: ...You're incredibly popular, sir.
President Chambers: And I want to use that popularity to transition into something more prestigious than the presidency. I wanna make it in the movies.
Charlotte Field: .... You're going to leave the Presidency to go be in movies?
President Chambers: I know. It's gonna be tough. Only like, 10 guys have made that jump from TV to film. Woody Harrelson, George Clooney... Might be... Might be just two.
Fred Flarsky: Wish me luck, man.
Lance: Yeah, you don't need luck, man. Luck is for losers.
Fred Flarsky: ...but seriously. Did he just realize he sucks at it and decide not to do it anymore?
Charlotte Field: He just wants to move into film and make movies.
Fred Flarsky: Really? That's cool. That's a tough transition to make. Not many actors have made the leap from TV to film. You got George Clooney, you got Woody Harrelson...
Tom: Jennifer Aniston.
Fred Flarsky: Mmm, did she though?
Maggie Millikin: You don't think Jennifer Aniston's a movie star?
Fred Flarsky: Just 'cause you star in movies doesn't mean you're a movie star.
Charlotte Field: What don't you know?
Fred Flarsky: This whole Seas, Bees and Trees thing. Is it actually going to do something? Or is it going to be one of those things that maybe only sounds like it's gonna do something, but doesn't actually do something?
Charlotte Field: I feel like these jokes are a little angry.
Fred Flarsky: Oh. I thought maybe they were, like, emphatic?
Charlotte Field: "With every fracking drill thrust, we are literally butt-fucking Mother Earth"?
Fred Flarsky: It can be normal fucking. It doesn't have to be in the butt. I can take that part out.
Charlotte Field: Until you're running the game, you have to play the game.
Fred Flarsky: Well, then, by the time you win the game, you don't know who's scoring touchdowns on whose nets, and you don't know who's hitting home runs in whose fucking end zones!
Charlotte Field: What are you talking about?
Fred Flarsky: I don't know sports. Let me try it with food. You wanna open a restaurant. But all you got is chopsticks—
Charlotte Field: Oh, my God, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I usually last way longer than that. You know?
Fred Flarsky: Not me.
Fred Flarsky: I feel so happy right now! Like, I'm beginning to realize, I may have never been happy. This might be the first time I ever felt happy. And it feels good.
Parker Wembley: Look, I'm about to give you the easiest ultimatum that you're ever, ever gonna receive...
Fred Flarsky: She has no moral compass. She's working with fucking Democrats one day, Republicans the next fucking day.
Lance: I mean, what's wrong with working with Democrats and... Republicans? That's... That's the whole country.
Fred Flarsky: Uh, yeah, except fuck Republicans, I guess is the problem with that.
Lance: Speaking as an American, shouldn't you see both sides?
Fred Flarsky: Yeah. I see one side's fucking wrong. What's the problem here?
Lance: I'm a Republican.
Fred Flarsky: You're fucking joking right now.
Lance: Member of the GOP! Yeah, you know me.
Lance: Yeah, I'm a Republican! The shit has worked out so far for me.
Fred Flarsky: What the fuck, man? All that shit you're always saying to me!... Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. And being in charge of your own destiny. Republican shit!
Lance: Oh, and it worked on me! And it works on a lot of people!
Fred Flarsky: Oh, that's fucking sick! Ugh! That's gross!
Fred Flarsky: That Republican shit, you put it in my brain and it made me feel good. That's fucked up, man!
Fred Flarsky: Wait a minute. You're always talking about how, like, the universe has a plan for all of us...
Lance: Take it easy.
Fred Flarsky: There's someone watching over us at all times. Does that mean...
Lance: I'm a man of Christian faith.
Fred Flarsky: What the fuck!
Fred Flarsky: That's really fucked up.
Lance: That's all right, man. But my love for the GOP and the G-O-D has nothing to do with us.
Fred Flarsky: I'm racist. You're a Republican. I don't know what the fuck's going on.
Fred Flarsky: We should go along with the plan. I can be Marilyn. I can be your Marilyn. I'd rather be your Lady Bird, because, you know, LBJ put a ring on that finger.
Fred Flarsky: I'm come-guy?!
Lance: Wakanda Forever!
Fred: Hi! I'm the First Mister of the United States of America. My name is Fred Field. I took my wife's last name. And, uh, I'm gonna give you a tour of the White House. We're starting with the portraits of the first spouses...
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
Fred Flarsky: Yeah, well... Jews win this round, motherfucker! Peace! Ow!
President Chambers: Oh, hey, Charlotte. You caught me watching my show. ... Oh, here it is.
— Not now... Not today. Not in my house.
President Chambers: Yes! I love that!
Charlotte Field: Oh, me too.
Charlotte Field: ...You're incredibly popular, sir.
President Chambers: And I want to use that popularity to transition into something more prestigious than the presidency. I wanna make it in the movies.
Charlotte Field: .... You're going to leave the Presidency to go be in movies?
President Chambers: I know. It's gonna be tough. Only like, 10 guys have made that jump from TV to film. Woody Harrelson, George Clooney... Might be... Might be just two.
Fred Flarsky: Wish me luck, man.
Lance: Yeah, you don't need luck, man. Luck is for losers.
Fred Flarsky: ...but seriously. Did he just realize he sucks at it and decide not to do it anymore?
Charlotte Field: He just wants to move into film and make movies.
Fred Flarsky: Really? That's cool. That's a tough transition to make. Not many actors have made the leap from TV to film. You got George Clooney, you got Woody Harrelson...
Tom: Jennifer Aniston.
Fred Flarsky: Mmm, did she though?
Maggie Millikin: You don't think Jennifer Aniston's a movie star?
Fred Flarsky: Just 'cause you star in movies doesn't mean you're a movie star.
Charlotte Field: What don't you know?
Fred Flarsky: This whole Seas, Bees and Trees thing. Is it actually going to do something? Or is it going to be one of those things that maybe only sounds like it's gonna do something, but doesn't actually do something?
Charlotte Field: I feel like these jokes are a little angry.
Fred Flarsky: Oh. I thought maybe they were, like, emphatic?
Charlotte Field: "With every fracking drill thrust, we are literally butt-fucking Mother Earth"?
Fred Flarsky: It can be normal fucking. It doesn't have to be in the butt. I can take that part out.
Charlotte Field: Until you're running the game, you have to play the game.
Fred Flarsky: Well, then, by the time you win the game, you don't know who's scoring touchdowns on whose nets, and you don't know who's hitting home runs in whose fucking end zones!
Charlotte Field: What are you talking about?
Fred Flarsky: I don't know sports. Let me try it with food. You wanna open a restaurant. But all you got is chopsticks—
Charlotte Field: Oh, my God, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I usually last way longer than that. You know?
Fred Flarsky: Not me.
Fred Flarsky: I feel so happy right now! Like, I'm beginning to realize, I may have never been happy. This might be the first time I ever felt happy. And it feels good.
Parker Wembley: Look, I'm about to give you the easiest ultimatum that you're ever, ever gonna receive...
Fred Flarsky: She has no moral compass. She's working with fucking Democrats one day, Republicans the next fucking day.
Lance: I mean, what's wrong with working with Democrats and... Republicans? That's... That's the whole country.
Fred Flarsky: Uh, yeah, except fuck Republicans, I guess is the problem with that.
Lance: Speaking as an American, shouldn't you see both sides?
Fred Flarsky: Yeah. I see one side's fucking wrong. What's the problem here?
Lance: I'm a Republican.
Fred Flarsky: You're fucking joking right now.
Lance: Member of the GOP! Yeah, you know me.
Lance: Yeah, I'm a Republican! The shit has worked out so far for me.
Fred Flarsky: What the fuck, man? All that shit you're always saying to me!... Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. And being in charge of your own destiny. Republican shit!
Lance: Oh, and it worked on me! And it works on a lot of people!
Fred Flarsky: Oh, that's fucking sick! Ugh! That's gross!
Fred Flarsky: That Republican shit, you put it in my brain and it made me feel good. That's fucked up, man!
Fred Flarsky: Wait a minute. You're always talking about how, like, the universe has a plan for all of us...
Lance: Take it easy.
Fred Flarsky: There's someone watching over us at all times. Does that mean...
Lance: I'm a man of Christian faith.
Fred Flarsky: What the fuck!
Fred Flarsky: That's really fucked up.
Lance: That's all right, man. But my love for the GOP and the G-O-D has nothing to do with us.
Fred Flarsky: I'm racist. You're a Republican. I don't know what the fuck's going on.
Fred Flarsky: We should go along with the plan. I can be Marilyn. I can be your Marilyn. I'd rather be your Lady Bird, because, you know, LBJ put a ring on that finger.
Fred Flarsky: I'm come-guy?!
Lance: Wakanda Forever!
Fred: Hi! I'm the First Mister of the United States of America. My name is Fred Field. I took my wife's last name. And, uh, I'm gonna give you a tour of the White House. We're starting with the portraits of the first spouses...
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
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