Phantom

& Demi: Do you think we can be redeemed for the things we’ve done?
    Markov: I don’t know. In our dreams, maybe.

& Priest: Would you like to make a confession?
    Demi: Confession for what?

& Pavlov: Always the rebel, Demi. I mean, don’t you think that vodka would be more in keeping with a servant of the Soviet Navy?
    Demi: Rum’s a sailor’s drink. Vodka, a politician’s.
    Pavlov: One serves the other, don’t you think?
    Demi: Politics serves itself. I mean, no offense, but... I drink what I like.

& Demi: You know what they call an old boat captain without a boat?.. “Just another drunk.”

---

& Demi: You ever start a war, Mr. Bruni?

& Demi: Sometimes a man has to pick a side.

& Demi: There’s a Ukrainian proverb that says: “Share a tent with Gypsies, and you wake up in a field of shit.”
    Bruni: I’ve heard that one, yes.
    Demi: Then you’ll understand if I tell you to go fuck yourself.

& Pavlov: That’s below crush depth!
    Demi: I know what our crush depth is, Pavlov.
    Bruni: What are we doing?
    Demi: Lifting our skirt.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Uncertainty

Wilfred 3×1

"The mistake is thinking that
there can be an antidote
to the uncertainty."
David Levithan

& Ryan: I think I’ve figured it out... I was grasping all these ridiculous theories when I realized that the most logical explanation has been right in front of my eyes this whole time... Mental illness.

& Wilfred: I know for a fact that I exist because I am, well, me. So I can’t possibly be just in your head. Therefore, the only logical explanation is that... I am a magical being.
    Ryan: What?
    Wilfred: A wonderful magical being.

& Wilfred: If you finally figured out that I’m only in your head, why am I still here?
    Ryan: That’s a good question.

---

& Wilfred: Look, maybe I’m magical, maybe you’re crazy. The answers will come in good time. For now, you’re just gonna have to learn to live with a little uncertainty.

& Ryan: We can prove you were actually born. Therefore, I’m crazy.
    Wilfred: If you really think you’re crazy, why the need to prove it to me?
    Ryan: Maybe you’re the part of my brain that’s so crazy it won’t allow me to accept that I’m crazy.
    Wilfred: God, you’re so crazy.

& Ryan: The answers will come in good time.

--
On the IMDb

Circle of Friends

Dexter 1×7

& Paul: Uh, hi. How are you? I’m Paul Bennett, father on parole.
    Dexter: Uh, Dexter Morgan. Uh, I can’t think of anything clever to say.

& Dexter: I have a dark side, too.
    Rita: What?
    Dexter: I do.
    Rita: Somehow I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. You’re not like Paul. You don’t hurt people.
    Dexter: Innocent people... I don’t hurt innocent people.

& Doakes: Your instincts were dead-on. They’re always dead-on when it comes to killers. Why is that?
    Dexter: I’ll just go get that report.
    Doakes: I’m watching you...

---

& Dexter: He might be a crack-addled, wife-abusing yahoo, but he refuses to abandon his kids. I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

& Dexter: I’m a lot like you, you know?
    Jeremy: Yeah, right. You’re a killer?
    Dexter: I’m empty... but I found a way to make it feel less bottomless.
    Jeremy: How?
    Dexter: Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be.

& Dexter: Hi.
    Neil Perry: Who the fuck are you?

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Under the Dome

Pilot

& Rose: Jim... what is this?
    James “Big Jim” Rennie: That’s me buying your next vote.
    Rose: Says the guy who always runs unopposed.
    James “Big Jim” Rennie: We’re all in this together.

& Mrs. Grinnell: So you’re the newspaper woman?
    Julia Shumway: I’m the new editor of The Independent, yeah. But if you’re just having a problem with your delivery, you can go ahead and...
    Mrs. Grinnell: I get my news online, sweetheart, like everybody else.

& Julia: Looks like someone’s planning one hell of a barbecue.
    Mrs. Grinnell: Or... Phhhh!
    Julia: Y-You think this might be connected to terrorism?
    Mrs. Grinnell: Like they say, “See something, say something.”

& Sheriff Perkins: Never understand why you said yes to one of those meatheads.
    Linda: ’Cause their insurance policy makes ours look like crap.

& Joe: What if the government built this thing?
    Barbie: I doubt it.
    Joe: Why?
    Barbie: ’Cause it works.

& Rennie: We’re trapped.

---

& Dodee: What the hell? You better have a warrant or we’re gonna sue your ass for...
    Rennie: Young lady, you’re gonna let me make an emergency broadcast right now or someone’s gonna die!

& Angie: Some of the patients are saying it’s like we’re... stuck in a giant fishbowl. I used to have fish. Goldfish. But then, one of them got sick, and the other one... The other one ate him. Did you even know they did that?.. Goldfish?

& Rennie: No word from anyone else on the council yet, but, uh, I should be able to hold down the fort. It’s easier to reach consensus when there’s only one voice to listen to, right?

& Phil: Dodee, just tell me what you heard.
    Dodee: This...
    Phil: It sounds alien?
    Dodee: Sounds more Bjork.

& Sheriff Perkins: Why Chester’s Mill? Why us?
    Linda: Maybe we’re being punished.

--
On the IMDb

Above Exalted Cyclops

Two and a Half Men 6×21

& Chelsea: Isn’t it worth one night of your life to maybe make two people happy?
    Charlie: That’s not fair. I always come off bad when I answer questions like that truthfully.
    Chelsea: Just do it for me.
    Charlie: Ooooh.
    Chelsea: Is that a yes?
    Charlie: Remember those words when we go to bed tonight.
    Chelsea: What words?
    Charlie: Just do it for me.

& Alan: So-So what are we going to do now?
    Charlie: I don’t know. I guess we play along.
    Alan: Play along?! Are you serious?!
    Charlie: What am I supposed to do, Alan? Tell the truth? “Oh Chelsea, I almost forgot, your new BFF and I had a one-night stand and when I dumped her, she superglued my nutsack to my thigh and started stalking me. Oh, and then I thought maybe I was in love with her and followed her to England. And then when she came back from England, I thought I was dying and almost asked her to marry me.”
    Alan: Yeah, when you put it in story form, it really does sound bad.

& Berta: Boy, take one day off for a poker tournament and you miss a whole lot around here...
    Charlie: You said you were sick!
    Berta: I was healed. It’s a miracle.

& Chelsea: Berta, have you met Rose yet?
    Berta: ............ Screw it, I’m going home.

---

& Charlie: What are you up to?
    Rose: Okay, at first, I was just doing a little light recon on Chelsea. To make sure you weren’t dating a whack job.
    Charlie: You thought Chelsea might be... Go on.
    Rose: Well, good news, she’s not. She’s got a cousin who’s a truck stop hooker. And her mom’s an honorary Kleagle in the Ku Klux Klan, but Chelsea is clean as a whistle.
    Charlie: Kleagle?
    Rose: According to Wikipedia it’s below Grand Dragon and above Exalted Cyclops.

& Alan: The fact is, we really like each other and we want to keep seeing each other.
    Rose: And we’d really like your blessing.
    Charlie: So, you actually want to be with him?
    Rose: I do.
    Charlie: And you believe she’s got no ulterior motive whatsoever?
    Alan: I do.
    Charlie: Fine. I now pronounce you fruit basket and nutcase. May God have mercy on your souls.

& Jake: It was an insult to my intelligence.
    Alan: Really?
    Jake: Everybody knows zombies can’t ride motorcycles.
    Alan: Yeah, that bumped me, too.
    Jake: And why would they wear helmets? They’re dead.
    Alan: Another good point.
    Jake: I don’t know who they’re making movies for these days...

& Chelsea: The problem is they jumped into bed too fast.
    Charlie: The problem is he doesn’t keep his glue solvent in his night stand.
    Chelsea: What’s that mean?
    Charlie: Another way of saying what you said.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Σ Rose returned big time!

Return to Sender

Dexter 1×6

& Dexter: I don’t get birthdays... The party, a song. Celebrating another year just being alive feels forced. That one. That’s the one I want.

& Dexter: Nothing lasts forever. Just ask a Ford Pinto.

---

& Dexter: Rita will be devastated if I’m arrested. Her husband was a crackhead, and her boyfriend’s a serial killer. It’s kind of hard not to take that personally.

& Dexter: I was wrong about birthdays. Maybe the reason to celebrate them is what they offer... The hope of living to see another one.

& Dexter: Like Harry said in my dream... The storm’s on its way.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

At All Costs

Falling Skies 3×4

& Tom: Anthony, let’s escort our guest topside.
    Fisher: What do you mean?
    Tom: You’re about to witness a miracle, Lieutenant.

& Fisher: I-I don’t understand that. How...
    Cochise: The how, I’m afraid, does not yield a simple answer... even for me.

& Pope: Let me get this straight. The so-called government of Charleston, S.C., is commandeering my personal property for unknown reasons for an unknown length of time. Is that it?
    Weaver: Pretty much, yes.
    Pope: Well, that has the sickening ring of tyranny, don’t you think?
    Tom: A good citizen would have gladly told his government representatives that he had an aircraft and then willingly made it available. {...}
    Weaver: You don’t even know how to fly the plane, Pope.
    Pope: I’m reading a book.

& Pope: I’m going with.
    Bressler: The hell you are. This is a classified mission.
    Pope: And that is a vintage 1935 Beechcraft. Finders keepers. Listen, gentlemen, either I am on that plane, or there will be no plane.

& Pope: Whoa! No, no, no, no. Nobody said anything about a bubblehead and a damned murderer.
    Weaver: Must have slipped my mind...
    Pope: Man, this deal’s getting worse and worse.

---

& Tom: Is everything all right, Cochise?
    Cochise: I-it is simply... A-are you certain this aircraft is...
    Tom: Safe?
    Cochise: I was going to say “Capable of flight.”

& Matt: What you doing, suckerfish?
    Ben: Uh, nervous eating. “Stressed” spelled backwards is “desserts.”

& Matt: Keep them. Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.
    Ben: What’s that, Dr. Seuss?
    Matt: Bernard Baruch, one of F.D.R.’s advisors. He was giving advice on seating arrangements at a dinner party.
    Ben: Dad tell you that one?
    Matt: Only like 30 times.
    Ben: You think that’s how dad got girls in college? Instead of playing the guitar, he’d just tell weird, historical anecdotes?
    Matt: I think that’s how dad didn’t get girls in college.

& Cochise: Hello. I am chichauk il’sichninch cha’tichol of the Volm.
    Tom: We call him “Cochise.”

& President Hathaway: What are you fighting them for? Resources, territory?
    Cochise: A flower... the Catarius. It blooms on my homeland when the weather begins to warm.
    President Hathaway: A flower that is... So valuable that it’s caused an intergalactic war?

& Tom: Everything’s gonna be all right. You got to believe that.
Ω It was really suspicious all those ’gonna be all right’ and ’I love you.’ Clearly, something [terrible] is coming.

& Bressler: Looks like we’re walking from here!

--
On the IMDb

In Care Of

Mad Men 6×13

Season 6 Finale

& Don: Los Angeles is not what you see in the movies. It’s like Detroit with palm trees.

& Ken: Name a chocolate.
    Don: What, like Hershey’s?

& Don: Hershey’s isn’t serious. They don’t advertise. They never have.

& Minister: What if I told you that Jesus could offer you not only eternal life, but freedom from pain in this life?
    Don: I’m doing just fine. Nixon’s the president. Everything’s back where Jesus wants it.
    Minister: He doesn’t work that way.
    Don: ’Cause He’s mysterious... He offer the same deal to Kennedy?.. Martin Luther King?.. Vietnam, for Christ’s sake? Studies show Jesus had a bad year.
    Minister: Well, I’m afraid there’s not one true believer in that list.
    Don: What the hell did you just say?!

& Minister from Don’s childhood: The only unpardonable sin is to believe God cannot forgive you.

& Clara: You just got this telegram.
    Pete: Open it.
    Clara: Let’s see... “Need to inform you, mother lost at...” Oh, my goodness. She fell off a ship!
    Pete: What?!

& Don: I spent the night in jail.
    Megan: Why are you laughing?
    Don: Because I realized it’s gotten out of control. I’ve gotten out of control.
    Megan: Sorry you had to find out that way.
    Don: But I realized something else, too. I don’t want to be here anymore... I want to move to California.
Ω Plagiarist!

& Don: We were happy there. We could be happy again.

& Don: I can probably get you out there eventually.
    Stan: To work for you? No, I’d rather stay here.
    Don: Where are you going?
    Stan: I’m gonna have that sandwich on my desk. I need to get to it before you do.

& Peggy: I’m leaving a little early because I have plans. I hope that’s okay.
    Cutler: Yes, of course, dear... Chanel No. 5?
    Peggy: It’s all I wear.
    Crane: ....... Vixen by night.

& Ted: I don’t know why women do anything. Why did you parade your ass in front of my door on your way out to see another man?
    Peggy: I’m following your lead, Ted. You let Don terrify you into ignoring me and now you’re here.
    Ted: Because I don’t want anyone else to have you!

& Ted: Peggy, I’m going to leave my wife.
    Peggy: Don’t say that. I’m not that girl.
    Ted: I love you!

& Ted: Let’s go to Hawaii.
    Peggy: For work?
    Ted: For Christmas.

---

& Ted: I don’t know how to say this, but I want to go to California.
    Don: Really? We can’t both go. {...}
    Ted: I’m the one who needs to start over.
    Don: With Peggy?
    Ted: No. With my family.
    Don: I don’t understand.

& Don: I’m sorry, I have to say this ’cause I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again.
    Hershey: What?
    Don: I was an orphan. I grew up in Pennsylvania... in a whorehouse. I read about Milton Hershey and his school in “Coronet” magazine or some other crap the girls left by the toilet. And I read that some orphans had a different life there. I could picture it. I dreamt of it... of being wanted. Because the woman who was forced to raise me would look at me every day like she hoped I would disappear. Closest I got to feeling wanted was from a girl who made me go through her john’s pockets while they screwed. If I collected more than a dollar, she’d buy me a Hershey bar. And I would eat it alone in my room with great ceremony... feeling like a normal kid. It said “Sweet” on the package... It was the only sweet thing in my life.
    Hershey: Do you want to advertise that?
    Don: If I had my way, you would never advertise. You shouldn’t have someone like me telling that boy what a Hershey bar is. He already knows.

& Trudy: I’d invite you, but I think it’s best you’re alone right now.
    Pete: Don’t be cruel!
    Trudy: No. It’s going to take you a moment to realize where you are. You’re free. Free of her. You’re free of them. You’re free of everything.
    Pete: It’s not the way I wanted it.
    Trudy: Now you know that.

& Cooper: Don, there’s no need for defense. This isn’t a trial. The verdict has been reached.

& Don: I want a return date.
    Cooper: We can’t give you that.
Ω Hm-hm. Finally, The Final?

& Stan: I thought you left.
    Peggy: No, I’ve got too much to do.
    Stan: And you thought you’d do it in here?
    Peggy: It’s where everything is.

& Sally: Why are we stopping?
    Bobby: This is a bad neighborhood.
    Don: Come on... This is where I grew up.

--
On the IMDb

Decimation

Spartacus: War of the Damned

Season 3 Episode 4

& Spartacus: Gratitude for assistance.
    Caesar: There is no greater glory... Than the death of your enemy.

& Crassus: One must appear as wolf to be welcomed by the pack.

& Spartacus: Coin holds little worth upon the field of battle.
    Laeta: What of a mind keen enough to amass it?

& Laeta: You have struck fear into the very heart of the Republic. Imagine the glory that awaits... the man who defeats you.

& Tiberius: What punishment would you have me inflict?
    Crassus: One to stand warning. That death at the hands of Spartacus pales against the wrath of the House of Crassus. ....
    Sabinus: Decimation?! Not since the days of Marius has savage ritual been so commanded.

& Tiberius: Fifty men. Fifty stones. Five stained with the promise of death. Draw well and live. Draw poorly...

& Laeta: Embrace what you have. All can change in sudden moment.

---

& Nemetes: What have you done, you mad fuck?!
    Caesar: I set her free. As I would all Romans yet held by Spartacus.
    Nemetes: You truly do stand one of us. Come, brother. Let us see it done.

& Tiberius: Father, I would have word...
    Crassus: I am not your father in this. I am your fucking Imperator! I have too long considered you a child, Tiberius... Apologies. You stand a soldier now, and deserve to be treated as any other. Join your men. Fall to command.

& Spartacus: Does it lie within possibility, what I seek to do?
    Heracleo: All dreams are possible... it is but effort and cost that keeps it from waking grasp.

& Crixus: Take her life, brother. And in the act let us become as one again.
    Spartacus: A thing deserved. Yet I will not see us become the very thing we fight against.
    Crixus: There are many who question your mind in this.
    Spartacus: I question mind as well... placing faith in you as a leader.

& Naevia: The man has helped us more than anyone. Yet I now doubt path he travels.
    Crixus: Then perhaps the time has come, to forge our own.

--
On the IMDb

Σ Bloody business.

Hit and Run

& Charles: Take three deep breaths. This is the only moment you need to be worried about. There’s no yesterday. There’s no tomorrow. There’s just right now. You’re not late for anything. And you’re not gonna miss anything. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. And you’re exactly who you’re supposed to be. You’re absolutely perfect. And whatever happens today is exactly what’s supposed to happen. And if you want... I’ll spend every moment with you for the rest of your life.

& Annie: I was just taking a couple of deep breaths. Someone recommended I try it when I’m nervous.
    Debby: You know what else works? Xanax. It’s so good... All benzos, really. But that one works extremely well. Very fast-acting.
    Annie: Huh? I never take Xanax.
    Debby: Well, you should really try it. If you mix it with wine or beer it sort of supercharges it.

& Debby: Annie. Please. I went to state school. I went to football games and blacked out and got date raped. I had abortions. I worried too much about what my boyfriends thought. I got what I deserved. But that’s not you. You deserve so much more than this.

& Charles: Why did you get stuck with witness protection?
    Randy: Because I accidentally discharged my weapon. Once at a gas station and another time at a baseball game.

& Annie: Did you just say “fags”?
    Charles: Yeah. But not in, like, a homophobic way. I used it in place of “lame.”
    Annie: Why wouldn’t you just say “lame”?
    Charles: Well, same reason I say “fuck” instead of “frick.” It packs more punch. It’s basically the swear word version of lame.
    Annie: No. It’s not. It’s a hate word used to perpetuate homophobia. It’s used to marginalize gay people.
    Charles: You’re acting like you don’t know me. I voted to legalize civil unions. When I had friends, I had a lot of gay friends.
    Annie: Then you shouldn’t say “fag.”
    Charles: I don’t! I don’t use it in reference to actual people. I mean especially homosexual people.
    Annie: So then, that makes it okay?
    Charles: Yeah, I think so. I mean morally, I feel fine about it.
    Annie: So as long as it’s not in reference to a person, it’s all right?
    Charles: ... Okay. I will work on it.

& Charles: I’m gonna tell him if he doesn’t stop following us, I’m gonna pull him out of the car and beat the shit out of him.
    Annie: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You’re not doing that! That’s not how you solve things.
    Charles: That’s exactly how you handle this. Especially with a turd like Gil.
    Annie: I’m sorry. Which one of us has a doctorate in conflict resolution? ’Cause I think it’s me.

& Dmitri: Now, I’m going to take your dog. But I’m going to tell you something. It’s not cool to wear those tank tops anymore. Unless you’re wearing it ironically or something.

---

& Charles: I’m sorry I didn’t say that to you, but when I got into witness protection I looked at it as a new beginning. And I knew I wasn’t going to be that guy anymore...
    Annie: You’re a bank robber?.. Charlie?!
    Charles: No. I didn’t actually rob any of the banks. Alex and Allen did the robbing and I did the driving them to and from the bank robbing.
    Annie: Banks? Plural?!

& Charles: The bottom line is in any relationship you can either wallow in the person’s past, or you can look at the person that’s right in front of you and choose to move forward. But you can’t do both.

& Charles: Was it a black guy?
    Dmitri: No, it wasn’t a black guy. That’s a pretty fucking racist thing to say. Why would you assume it’s a black guy?
    Charles: You think that’s racist?.. I think that’s the opposite of racist. I don’t think it would make a black guy gay to fuck a white dude because we’re such pussies compared to them.
    Dmitri: What the fuck are you even talking about right now?!
    Charles: I’m saying if I was a black dude I wouldn’t feel the least bit gay about fucking a white guy. I would think a white guy is just like masculine chicks. Like, Ellen. She’s masculine, but I would totally fuck her if I were single.

& Dmitri: It was Filipino!! I was butt-fucked by a Filipino dude, okay? Does that fucking solve your dilemma of what part of the world my ass traveled to?
    Charles: Well... I mean, I don’t think... That’s not so bad. I mean, just like all black dudes think of us as women, I think of all Asians as women, you know? Even the men. I feel like you basically hooked up with an Asian lady.
    Annie: Charlie, just...
    Dmitri: No, I didn’t hook up with anybody, bro. I was raped!
    Charles: Okay, listen, I don’t...
    Dmitri: Fucking hooked up?
    Charles: I’m just trying to help. I feel partly responsible for this and I’m really sorry.
    Dmitri: Well that’s a weird angle, bro.

& Annie: I don’t not love you. I’m just terrified that I don’t know you...
    Charles: Annie, Annie, Annie, Annie. You know me. You do. You know me more than anyone. And I’m gonna be the exact same person you met and fell in love with for the rest of my life.
    Annie: Do you think you can be the exact same person except not say “fag” when you really mean “lame”?
    Charles: Yes.
    Annie: And not buy into get-rich-quick schemes that profit from war-torn countries?
    Charles: Okay. I’ll even throw in stereotyping.

& Annie: How do I look?
    Charles: Amazing.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Hello, I am Alan Cousteau

Two and a Half Men 6×20

& Evelyn: Aren’t you going to wash your hands before you eat?
    Jake: No. I wrap the toilet paper around my fingers like an oven mitt.

& Charlie: Good morning, Alan. Morning, Jake. Satan.

& Chelsea: Nice to meet you.
    Evelyn: Nice to meet you, too.
    Chelsea: Welcome back to the States.
    Evelyn: Thank you. Where have I been?

& Chelsea: I’m not angry, Charlie. I’m just disappointed.
    Charlie: Gee, I’d kind of prefer it if you were angry.
    Chelsea: Why?
    Charlie: Because angry sex is hot. Disappointed sex is... well, we might as well be married.

& Chelsea: Come on, Charlie. What’s wrong with me having a warm and healthy relationship with your mother?
    Charlie: Well, for starters, you’ll be the only one. Ever.

& Chelsea: It’s just lunch.
    Charlie: That’s what Hitler said Czechoslovakia.
    Chelsea: Hitler said, “It’s just lunch”?
    Charlie: Well, he said it in German... Watch the History Channel.

---

& Chelsea: Charlie, ... did you ever think that by my spending time with your mother, I can get a better understanding of you?
    Charlie: Chelsea, trust me. Any insight you gain into me via my mother will end our relationship faster than catching me in bed with a farm animal.

& Chelsea: Just relax. It’ll be fine.
    Charlie: That’s what Hitler said to Poland.

& Charlie: Chelsea? I’m not upset anymore.
    Chelsea: Charlie, I’m sleeping.
    Charlie: I know. Can you just wake up enough so it’s not weird?.. Never mind. Sweet dreams.

& Chelsea: Don’t even think about it!

& Alan: Hey, I did not sell you out for a watch! I sold you out for a certified Swiss chronometer. Stainless steel Submariner, waterproof up to 300 mets. And look, it winds itself.
    Charlie: Put it on your right arm, it’ll run forever.
    Alan: .... Oh, good thinking.

& Charlie: Hey, Jake, I need a favor.
    Jake: Sorry, I can’t say bad things about Grandma.
    Charlie: Okay, what did she buy you? A new guitar? Minibike?
    Jake: Pizza.
    Charlie: You sold me out for a pizza?!
    Jake: Not just a pizza. A meat-lover’s pizza.

--
On the IMDb

Men of Honor

Spartacus: War of the Damned

Season 3 Episode 3

& Spartacus: Swords born from shackles... Your hands turn miracle, Attius.
    Attius: Then perhaps you would bless them with additional coin, in reward for such divinity.
    Spartacus: Knowing effort serves higher purpose is reward enough?

& Crixus: Do you desire blood?.. Then let us have proper contest! Bring swords!
    Gannicus: We fall to fucking games now?
    Naevia: The Romans forced you and Crixus to such, for their amusement. We but return favor.

& Heracleo: You are Spartacus?
    Spartacus: I stand so named.
    Heracleo: The same fiend that brought down the arena in Capua? Defeated Glaber at Vesuvius? Wrought untold suffering upon the Republic and its people?
    Spartacus: All deeds claimed with pride.
    Heracleo: Then I call you fucking brother!

& Spartacus: Return when sun gives way to moon. And discover if there stands cause to share cup.
    Heracleo: As you command, King Spartacus... As you command.

---

& Tiberius: The time for words has ended. Break camp, and return to my father with news of Spartacus.
    Caesar: He gave order to remain at your side.
    Tiberius: I am the word and the will of Marcus Crassus! You are not at my side, Gaius. You serve beneath me.
    Caesar: .... I fall to command.

& Spartacus: Aid..., and you and your people will share equal portion from what we gain in bargain with the Cilician.
    Laeta: I would have freedom as price. For all of us.

& Laeta: Am I to trust your word?
    Spartacus: The reason is simple... You stand absent choice.

& Heracleo: You would entreat Poseidon... to shun robes and present ass!
    Spartacus: If he stood before me. Yet he does not.

& Gannicus: What fucking piss does Heracleo offer?
    Attius: Absinthe, by name. I once drained six cups, and found myself in heated argument with imaginary cat.
    Gannicus: Then let us drain seven, and finish argument before you strike from Roman shores.

& Laeta: It surprises, how such small a weight bears such heavy burden.

& Laeta: Heracleo spoke the truth, at least upon one subject... You are not the man one expects.

& Gannicus: You feel you owe debt Sibyl?
    Sibyl: I owe you everything!
    Gannicus: Then see it repaid... by staying far from my presence. And men of my kind.

& Heracleo: What are your thoughts?
    Spartacus: That I stand the fool. For laying trust in a man absent honor.

--
On the IMDb

The Two Finger Rule

Two and a Half Men 6×19

& Alan: I was not responsible for my actions. I was stoned out of my mind.
    Charlie: You know, that excuse has never once worked for me.
    Berta: Me, either. Cops or boyfriends.

& Chelsea: You want to explain to me why this woman is sending you naked pictures of herself?
    Charlie: I’d love to explain it.
    Chelsea: ... Go ahead.
    Charlie: I said I’d love to. I didn’t say I could.

& Charlie: Oh, please don’t leave.
    Alan: Oh, please don’t hang up. I love you!
    Berta: And I love you, too.

---

& Berta: All right, I’ve ordered your pizza. I’m going home.
    Charlie: Thanks, Berta... Ordering a pizza and going home — two of the three things you want in a woman.

& Charlie: What are you guys talking about?
    Herb: Masturbating at the YMCA.
    Charlie: Really? Just talk, right?
    Alan: Yeah, but the night is young.

& Herb: You know, my wife and I are having a girl. Any advice?
    Jerome: Yeah... Before your daughter starts dating, um, bulk up.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Love American Style

Dexter 1×5

& Masuka: Damn rats. We’re all gonna get histoplasmosis from all their shit in the dust. We’ll be coughing up blood, skin lesions, mouth sores.
    Dexter: Lovely.

& — Freedom’s just another word for one more way to get fucked.

& Dexter: The inability to feel has its advantages... Sometimes.

& Dexter: Alone. No pretending. No hiding.

& Dexter: Too bad... I never enjoy making someone a widow. They’re so happy. She has no clue who she’s with. Maybe that’s the key to a successful relationship...

---

& Debra: I... I was trying a new approach.
    Doakes: Maybe you should just learn the basics before you reinvent the damn wheel...

& Dexter: Maybe if I don’t blink, my eyes will tear up.

& Dexter: I’m gonna ask you a question. I want you to answer me honestly. No more bullshit. Do you understand?.. How long have you been married?
    Valerie Castillo: 12 years.
    Dexter: How do you love each other? You’re like me, and you make it work. How?

& Dexter: Deviating from the plan may have been ill-advised. But sometimes you just have to take a risk. After all... isn’t that what relationships are all about?

& Dexter: It might sound weird... I want to someday be content and just feel... Comfortable, like everyone else. I want... a normal life.
    Rita: Yeah, a normal life. That’s all I want. Just that.
    Dexter: No fame and fortune... Excitement at every turn?
    Rita: No, I’ve had enough excitement. Thank you. Now... I’ll take boring.
    Dexter: Average.
    Rita: Ordinary.
    Dexter: That’s weird, huh?
    Rita: Yeah.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Wolves at the Gate

Spartacus: War of the Damned

Season 3 Episode 2

& Laeta: Show an animal kindness and it will give loyalty until the heavens fall. Show it nothing but the lash... and wonder not why it bears teeth.

& Crassus: You hold revered name of the Julian clan. Sired from the bloodline of Venus. Divine mother of Aeneas, forbearer of Romulus, exalted founder of Rome...
    Caesar: I require no lesson in my fucking heritage!
    Crassus: Then perhaps one in mine. I am descendant from no god. Nor man of lofty note. I’m tolerated within the Senate solely for the wealth I have amassed through labor and dealings those with “proper” lineage deem beneath them.
    Caesar: And you believe this singular cause why they hate you, hmm?

& Crassus: You possess name absent wealth.
    Caesar: And you possess wealth absent name.
    Crassus: Imagine what could be wrested from highest perch, were Crassus and Caesar to align themselves.
    Caesar: My name has remained constant since falling from my mother’s womb. You have been heavy with gold for equal years. Why now suggest the pairing?
    Crassus: Opportunity to seize laurels and the gratitude of the Republic presents itself. And with it, first stone upon the road to greater glories...
    Caesar: What would you have me aid you in, to see such a day hastened?
    Crassus: Bring end to slave rebellion... And death of Spartacus.

---

& Spartacus: I was told you hold no love for the Republic.
    Attius: Tell me you have not brought the Bringer of Fucking Piss and Shit to my very door?
    Crixus: Your legend precedes you.

& Kore: I was attending Caesar as commanded...
    Tiberius: Caesar?
    Sabinus: Gaius Julius Caesar?
    Kore: He laid hands upon me.

& Crassus: To bring Spartacus to ground I must have a wolf at my side.
    Caesar: Hmm. And let us turn gleaming fang towards moon of full purpose, and see blood and gore matted upon fur.

& Attius: I cannot aid you in this. It would mean my life.
    Gannicus: You have forged weapons for Spartacus himself... If we are discovered with your craft clutched in hand, then they will send you to the afterlife all the same.
    Attius: Fuck the gods. What would you have of me?

& Laeta: You! You aid Spartacus?
    Spartacus: No. I stand the man himself.

--
On the IMDb

The Call

& Jordan: My daddy told me the hardest part about being a cop was knowing you might be the difference between somebody living and somebody dying. And when you couldn’t shoulder that... then it’s time for you to get out.

& Jordan: So first you’re gonna notice patterns. Behavioral changes in very predictable ways. Rising temperatures means rising tempers, so we get the violent calls. Rainy days and Christmas, it’s gloomy outside, sometimes people are alone, that’s when we get the suicides. Now, Saturday mornings are generally very slow and calm times, and I think that’s because people are at home probably recovering from Friday night.
    — Why? What happens Friday night?
    Jordan: All hell breaks loose.

---

& Jordan: Okay, listen, Josh. The most important thing to remember about this job is this: Stay emotionally detached. Don’t get too involved in your P.R.’s crisis. What’s P.R.?
    — Person reporting.
    Jordan: Right. And never ever make promises because you can’t keep them. Okay?

& Michael: Hey, where you think you’re going, you bitch? You’re just an operator. You can’t do this. You can’t.
    Jordan: It’s already done.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

+ quotes on the Imdb.

Soundtrack

My Mother the Car

Arrested Development 1×8

& Michael: No more parties. Okay, Mom?
    Lucille: You’re my third least-favorite child.
    Michael: I can live with that.

& Lindsay: My whole life... all you’ve ever praised me for is my looks.
    George Sr.: Oh, no. Your looks...
    Lindsay: Yes, Dad. I mean, it’s always been Michael’s got the brains... Gob’s got the charm, Buster’s got the...
    George Sr.: High-fastening pants.
    Lindsay: Have you said that?
    George Sr.: No. I’m saying that now.

& Lucille: Buster, what’s going on? What happened to your head?
    Buster: Nothing! Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.

---

& Lindsay: That’s all I ever wanted from you, Daddy... For you to spend money on me.

& G.O.B.: South America sounds good. But a chance to expose Mom? Turn this skiff around.
    Captain: We haven’t even left the dock!
    G.O.B.: But “skiff” is appropriate, right?

& G.O.B.: We’re brothers, Mom, and we kind of like each other.

& Lucille: I just want my children to love me.
    Michael: Stop lying. Stop manipulating. Just be nicer.
    Lucille: But... You’re right... I’m a horrible mother.
    Lindsay: No, no, Mom. You’re great.
    Michael: That’s crazy talk.
    G.O.B.: You’re a fantastic mother.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

The Power of Few

& Doke: Brown, I’ll tell you, you gotta start listening to what people don’t say. It’s the best way to stay focused.

& Fueisha: Have you ever bit the inside of your cheek?

& Fueisha: Have you ever bit the inside of your cheek? Not just bit, but accidentally chomped down on it really hard?

& Brown: I’m hungry.
    Doke: Keep digging.

& Doke: The best way to deal with ignorance is to recognize it.

& Doke: Sometimes people mistake me for someone else.

& Doke: The Jews, the Christians, the Muslims. The Hindus, the Buddhists. Taoists. All slaves... to time. People waiting, biding their time. Yearning for a real experience, a true moment. Free of this song, sad routine we’re all locked into.

& Doke: Holy schmoly!

---

& Fueisha: Have you ever bit the inside of your cheek? Oh, you wish to God it didn’t happen.

& Fueisha: You ever bit the inside of your cheek?
    Junkshow: Have I ever bit the inside of my cheek?
    Fueisha: Not just bit, but accidentally chomped down on it really hard.
    Junkshow: What the hell are you talking about?
    Fueisha: Have you?
    Junkshow: Yeah, that pain’s the worst.
    Fueisha: Do you know that feeling, right after you do it? That slow motion, wishful feeling that it didn’t just happen? You know what I’m talking about. Then comes the real shit, the life swelling, eye-watering pain. And there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. There’s no going back and reliving that moment... or maybe just changing things a wee bit.
    Shamu: Damn right.
    Fueisha: And the pain grows and it spreads and you squirm around. Oh, you wish to God it didn’t happen, but it did. And now, you have to live with it. But what really sucks is that this never happens on the last bite of your meal. So, now the meal is ruined because your mouth is pulsing. And then sudden jolts of reality runs through your mind. This life will never allow you to go back and remove the pain. It’s all there. We all gotta learn from it. We all gotta learn to move on with it.
    Junkshow: Yo, this shit is whack.
    Fueisha: Why push the head at the speed of pain? All of us, you, me, you. That guy you’re after. No one alive can avoid it. Now, look, I know you’re pissed about Reggie. But don’t deal with pain by inflicting more. Please, brothers, cause no more pain?
    Junkshow: Yo, this is all insightful and shit... but sometimes things just have to be finished.

& Fueisha: Well, thanks for setting me straight, but now I got myself a stomach ache.
    Shamu: From eating all that garbage.
    Fueisha: Well, I ain’t gonna go shoot the guy who sold them to me. And do you know why?
    Junkshow: Oh, here the fuck she go again.
    Fueisha: ’Cause I stole them candy bars. Stole them, and now I’m paying for it. They call that karma.
    Junkshow: What the fuck you know about karma?
    Fueisha: Not much, but I’m learning.

--
On the IMDb

Lore

& Mutti: He’s dead Lore.
    Lore: Vati?
    Mutti: Vati... Ha. Our Führer, Lore. He’s dead.

& — I had to look at dead Jews for hours, just to get stale bread.
    — But you got two loaves!
    — I have diabetes, I’m the one who deserves two loaves. And I got nothing!
    — If the Führer knew that!

---

& Old woman: We broke his heart, he loved us so much. And the lies... Those Americans. With their photographs. Actors. The Americans paid all of them.

& Lore: You lie! You always lie. You can’t help it. All you filthy Jews!.. Sometimes I look at you, and I can see them. One lie after the other. They are everywhere. I can’t stop thinking of it. I can’t stop thinking of it.

& Omi: You must never feel ashamed of them. It is all over now. Your parents did nothing wrong. You know that, don’t you?.. Look at me when I’m talking! They did nothing wrong.

--
On the IMDb

The Place Beyond the Pines

& Robin: We could rob a bank...

& Robin: I’ve done it four times myself and stopped twelve years ago. It was getting too hot. As long as you don’t do it too many times, your fine.

& Robin: We do what we do. But when we do it together? Pssshh... Shazam.

& Robin: If you ride like lightning... you’re going to crash like thunder.

---

& Deluca: I’ve been on the force for twenty two years, pulled the trigger maybe three, four times. You’re on for six months, you already got one in the bag. And he was white. That’s an extra fifty.

& Al Cross: For somebody who’s not campaigning, you gave a hell of a speech yesterday. You certainly have my vote. Plus that knee is a gold mine... No I mean it. A limp goes a long way in politics. Look at Roosevelt.

& Killcullen: I’ll make you assistant D.A. I’m never going to shake your fucking hand. You’re too smart for your own good.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Soundtrack

In God We Trust

Arrested Development 1×7

& Attorney Barry: Anything else to go over?
    Michael: We’ve got everything else to go over. We haven’t done anything to get my dad out of jail.
    Barry: Okay. First of all... What are you doing? Pilates? Because no 40-year-old woman should look like that.
    Michael: Well, no 40-year-old woman does look like that.

& Buster: Can’t we just stay here and play poker again? You can bet your vertigo medicine against my anxiety pills.

---

& Michael: You gotta remember. Mom typically has nothing in her system... except a bottle of vodka and an estrogen pill.

& Gob: New attorney... And he’s learning Spanish? He’s hiding something.

& Michael: Excuse me, Wayne, my sister and I were outside having a business discussion... and we were wondering if there’s some sort of legal way... that we can humiliate our mother. Something shaming, something public.
Wayne Jarvis: I’ve used one adjective to describe myself. What is it?
Michael: .... Professional.

& — Where is God?
    — There is no God!
    Lindsay: There goes my credit card payment.
    Michael: Dad! Dad!

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Dead Man Down

& Darcy: We make our plans, sure. But life... Life is what happens to you along the way.

& Victor: I don’t want you to do that. Bring me food.
    Beatrice: My mom likes to cook. It would just go to waste otherwise. I’ll wedge it in between the mustard and plastic explosives.

---

& Darcy: Did you choose not lo kill me cause I got a wife and a kid?
    Victor: No. I didn’t kill you because they’ve got you.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Soundtrack

Enemies of Rome

Spartacus: War of the Damned

Season 3 Episode 1

& Naevia: We have won the day.
    Spartacus: We have won nothing.
Ω Such an intense start of the season.

& Metellus: How could a handful of errant slaves continue to vex us? ... Such chaos and death at the hands of a fucking slave.

& Spartacus: Double our sentries in surrounding hills. I would not be caught unaware.
    Agron: You give those shits credit beyond due.
    Spartacus: Underestimating your opponent is a Roman trait, Agron. Do not fall prey to it.

& Crassus: The time for words has ended. Spartacus must fall... and I shall set upon what path I must to see day hastened. For the glory of Rome.

& Nasir: I am forever in Spartacus’ debt, for parting veil.
    Agron: A debt shared equally by all. One we shall repay with Roman lives.

& Spartacus: I could not save my wife. And I can fight to see a day when no innocent life is so easily disregarded. A day when the Romans and their cruelty are but distant memory.

& Gannicus: Let us share wine and women, and set aside such heavy fucking thoughts.
    Spartacus: The offer is much appreciated.
    Gannicus: Then I will drink and fuck in your name. Fight when called upon. The very steps to the Roman Senate if that is where your madness leads.

---

& Tertulla: He deserves position of note, worthy of the name he bears.
    Crassus: He does not yet hold the years for the title of Tribune.
    Tertulla: Coin and persuasion would see such rules set aside...
    Crassus: He has not earned it. Tiberius has shown great promise as a soldier. Yet he falls from target in strategy and discerning mind.
    Tertulla: Then lend instruction.
    Crassus: My lessons never cease. It is for him to apply them.

& Spartacus: Did you expect freedom to come absent cost?
    Diotimos: No. Yet absent fucking plan to be clothed or fed we must take matters into our own hands. Or risk early grave waiting for the Bringer of Fucking Rain to bless us with much needed shower.

& Diotimos: You are Spartacus?! Apologies, I-I did...
    Spartacus: Still tongue. You may not always have full belly or warm cloak, but while I draw breath you have freedom to speak your heart. Even against the great man upon the hill.

& Soldier: You there! What is your purpose so near rebel encampment? Who else is with you? Find fucking tongue! Who is with you?
    Naevia: .... Death.

& Gannicus: I stand your equal with sword. Yet you have me by fucking spear.

& Spartacus: Gannicus, Crixus... I would have you at my side.
    Agron: I am to stand idle, with arm up fucking ass?

& Naevia: If. A word forever casting shadow.

& Tiberius: You waste hour sparring with a common slave.
    Crassus: Was Spartacus not also once thought of as such? Would you dismiss him so casually as well?
    Tiberius: No. Yet for all his victories Spartacus is still a slave.
    Crassus: He’s a man. No better or worse than any sharing title.
    Tiberius: You would place him upon equal footing with a Roman?
    Crassus: In some regards, he’s proven to stand even higher.

& Crassus: You believe wealth and position grant you advantage over those beneath you?
    Tiberius: I believe we tower above a slave in all things, no matter what name he bears.
    Crassus: Then couple words with actions, and prove belief.

& Crixus: We do not know how many await inside.
    Gannicus: Let us pray they are not too few.
    Crixus: I am encircled by mad fucks. And begin to count myself as one.

& Gannicus: The gods favor us.
    Crixus: Spartacus holds no belief in them.
    Spartacus: I pray this night they prove me wrong.

& Hilarus: Dominus. None stand more worthy of respect than you.
    Crassus: Then see it given. Come at me. As you would an opponent in the arena, absent thought of mercy.
    Tiberius: Father!..
    Crassus: We all have lessons that must learned. I would have this my final test. And in its completion, knowledge that I am readied to face those trained in your arts upon field of battle.
    Hilarus: You ask me to kill you.
    Crassus: I command you to try.

& Hilarus: You were waiting... for me to think you’d made misstep I warned you of...
    Crassus: Knowledge and patience. The only counter to greater skill.
    Hilarus: You have been well schooled.
    Crassus: Know that your service will not pass unremembered. The coin I promised had you bested me shall be set towards monument to the storied gladiator Hilarus.
    Hilarus: It has been the greatest of honors to have served you, Dominus.
    Crassus: The honor was mine.
Ω And so Spartacus’ champion was born.

& Cossinius: Name terms of surrender, and let us be done with this.
    Spartacus: There are none I would trust a Roman to honor.

& Metellus: Let us move from clouded past and turn eye towards pressing future. Sole command and charge to bring Spartacus to deserved end is now yours. Along with title of Imperator, if you so wish it.
    Crassus: I serve the glory of Rome.
    Metellus: As do we all.

& Tiberius: How did you know Spartacus would make attempt on their lives, instead of fleeing when knowledge was gained of your army advancing from Rome?
    Crassus: Because it is what I would have done.

& Crixus: There is not a villa in all the lands that could hold so many of us.
    Spartacus: No, there is not. Only a city could hold us now. And we shall tear one from the flesh of Rome, and salt mortal wound with blood and death.

--
On the IMDb

А. В. Иванов — Комьюнити (2/2)

Начало

&  После миллениума нет человека, есть сумма ресурсов и технологий. Человек – это его айфон!

&  Глеб закачал в айпэд роман Альбера Камю «Чума» и полез в Интернет посмотреть про Камю. По каждому поводу нырять в Сеть за справкой у современного человека стало такой же дурной привычкой, как у поручика Ржевского щипать за грудь любую даму.

&  Лично для себя он объяснял экзистенциализм так. Для человека есть непреодолимые пределы и ограничения. Например, ничего не поделаешь с тем, что ты смертен. Или с тем, что у тебя нет таланта к чему-либо. Или с тем, что тебя не любят. Или с тем, что не наградят, хотя ты достоин. И прочее. Надо как-то ужиться с этими невозможностями. Но как? Способов было великое множество, но самых важных – всего два.
     Первый – вера. Она говорила: эти невозможности мнимые, они нужны затем, чтобы натренировать тебя для жизни в загробном мире, где этих невозможностей нет. Потерпи, и бог тебе всё компенсирует.
     Второй способ – гуманизм. Он говорил: собственную скорбь от осознания этих невозможностей можно заместить радостью ближнего, ты не заметишь подмены. Работай на благо ближнего, и горя не будет.
     Двадцатый век развеял иллюзии обеих технологий. Первая мировая война дискредитировала капитализм как общество разумного эгоизма. Гуманисты уповали на истинно гуманный строй – на социализм, но его развенчала Вторая мировая война. Немецкие национал-социалисты сцепились с русскими строителями социализма так, что камня на камне не осталось не только от гуманизма, но и от веры: гуманизм не остановил и не мог остановить ни Гитлера, ни Сталина, а кочегары Освенцима и вертухаи Колымы лучше Канта доказали, что бога нет.
     Как тогда уживаться с невозможностями, если ни бог, ни доброта ничем тебя не утешат? Вот тут и появился экзистенциализм. Он учил, что надо разобраться в сути своих переживаний. Когда суть будет определена, когда границы невозможностей будут очерчены, жить станет легче. В общем, спасение от страданий – сами страдания как пространство для утешающей медитации. Хемингуэй вместо Ремарка.
     Если уподобить страдания водке, а экзистенциализм алкоголизму, то культурную ситуацию послевоенной Европы можно обрисовать российской формулой: водка лечит все болезни, кроме алкоголизма, но и его течение значительно смягчает. Однако как алкоголизм не стал медициной, так и экзистенциализм не стал философией.

&  Счастье – это когда тебя обнимают.

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&  – Господа, я хотел бы избежать аналогий. Дело в том, что сравнение – не аргумент, но всегда используется именно как аргумент.

&  Креатив – он всегда с мессиджем. Уайльд утверждал, что настоящее искусство лишено цели, а креатив всегда имеет цель, пусть даже эта цель – самовыражение автора. Назначение креатива – маскировка. Креатив помогает замаскировать подвал под ресторан, рекламу под творчество, удовольствие под недовольство.

&  – Меня терзает ревность, и грустно оттого, что самое интересное достанется вам, а вам оно не интересно.

&  В том, мне кажется, и заключена разница между подлинным искусством, которое концентрирует в себе культурные смыслы, и креативом, столь ныне популярным: креатив – одноразовое искусство.

&  – Короче говоря, реальность – это то, что вы считаете реальностью. А что считать реальностью, вам подсказывает XXX, поставщик информации о мире.
     Человек – это его айфон, вспомнил Глеб.

&  – По большому счёту любая реальность виртуальна, потому что где находится виртуал? В компьютере? Там железки. В железках? Там лишь слабые токи. У нас в головах? Но почему тогда мы не можем управлять этой реальностью? Знаете, как цинично говорят: не важно, как народ голосует, важно, как избирком считает. По аналогии: не важно, что вы называете реальностью, важно, какой механизм вам отбирает её феномены. А механизм – «ДиКСи». Семантический Интернет. Мир как развлечение! У вас одно развлечение, у меня другое, у вашей девушки – третье...

&  Крики ужаса всегда бывают вне мейнстрима.

&  Для реаниматологов чужая агония – своя рутина.

&  – А что Инет? Уменьшает ли он невежество? Нет, не уменьшает. Избавляют ли социальные сети от одиночества? Нет, не избавляют. Запрещает ли демократия рабство? Даже в Элладе не запрещала, что уж говорить про нас.

&  А таковы все участники его комьюнити, подумал Глеб. Таковы информаторы и эксперты Web 2.0. Таковы люди. Чудовищные завалы разбитых надежд, неоправданных амбиций и бессистемных убеждений.

&  «Офис», «официальность», «офицер» и «официант» – однокоренные слова.

  ... Господи еси, всеблагой наш модератор! Да будет бесконечен твой трафик, да расточится спам, да обрящешь ты контент до скончания веков! Активируй наши SIM-карты и не укори нас за софт насущный! Мы неразумные твои гаджеты, возлюби наши опции и избавь нас от троянов, и пускай воплотится воля твоя в Enter, а не в Delete!”

Псоглавцы (Денжерологи—1)

Σ Местами недо-Пелевин? А местами — Пелевин в пределе.
    От брендов в любом случае тошнит.

The Quality of Mercy

Mad Men 6×12

& Don: She’ll get in.
    Betty: I don’t know, Don. It is Miss Porter’s. Jackie Kennedy went there.
    Don: You mean Jacqueline... Kennedy... Onassis.
    Betty: What kind of medicine are you taking for this cold?
    Don: Formula 44.
    Betty: Yeah, I bet.

& Michael: Did you mention that Cran-Prune sounds like a glass of diarrhea?

& Crane: Listen, I wouldn’t bother you at home. Obviously I’m on the Coast, but I’ve got good news.
    Don: You finally found a hooker who will take traveler’s checks?
    Crane: Why did I tell you that?

& Ken: Chevy... is... killing me. I hate Detroit. I hate cars. I hate guns. I don’t even want to look at a steak anymore!

& Cutler: Kenny, you know, I once had a client cup my wife’s breast.
    Roger: Lee Garner, Jr. made me hold his balls.

& Bob: I think maybe I’m keeping you from discussing this freely. I understand Pete’s objections, but I will do whatever is decided.
    Cutler: Pete, there’s nothing to discuss. I like Bob, Chevy likes Bob. And if you don’t like Bob... we can find someone who does.

& Ted: Okay, it’s dark. Fish-eye lens, you’re the baby. Just, “Whaa! Whaa!” You do that.
    Don: Whaa! Whaa! Whaa!
    Ted: Okay. So there’s a crowd. Eight or nine people. It’s the whole coven. And there’s a crazy little old lady...
    Peggy: ’What you need is a mustard plaster.’
    Ted: And then there’s this wrinkled old man... ’You need a compress.’ And then a Jewish neighbor lady...
    Joan: ’How about a bowl of chicken soup?’
    Ted: Anyway, there’s one more of those, maybe. Then they all start crowding in on you. And the Japanese takes a picture and the flash turns it white. Then you see the beautiful, radiant young mother...
    Peggy: ’You don’t need anyone’s help but St. Joseph’s.’

---

& Mandy: Let me guess, dad’s remarried, mom’s fat and sad.
    Sally: No, they’re both remarried, but my dad’s wife is my age.
    Mandy: Well, I’d like to feel sorry for you, but things are about to get worse.

& Don: I think, and correct me if I’m wrong, that when you say you want a reason, you want to know why we would push you like this...
    Byron: It would help.
    Don: Well, the truth is that I don’t think Ted wants to say. ’Cause it’s, well, it’s a little bit personal. In fact, it’s very personal.

& Ted: That was your solution? Try and embarrass me?
    Don: You’re embarrassing yourself. I know your little girl has beautiful eyes, but that doesn’t mean you give her everything.
    Ted: That has nothing to do with it!
    Don: Come on, we’ve all been there. I mean, not with Peggy...
    Ted: Don’t say that about her!
    Don: Ted, you’re kidding yourself. Everybody sees it. Just ask your secretary. Your judgment is impaired. You’re not thinking with your head.

& Bob: What do you want?
    Pete: Well, for one thing, I wanted you to stop smiling.

& Pete: Where you are and who you are is not my concern. I surrender.
    Bob: So what does that mean to me?
    Pete: I want you to graciously accept my apologies. Work alongside me, but not too closely.
    Bob: Again, I don’t understand.
    Pete: Yes, you do. I’m off-limits.

& Betty: Now get me a cigarette and give me some details. You want one, don’t you? Go ahead. I’d rather have you do it in front of me than behind my back... I’m sure your father has given you a beer.
    Sally: My father has never given me anything.

& Don: I saved both of you. How do you think it looks?
    Peggy: You hate that he is a good man.
    Don: He’s not that virtuous. He’s just in love with you.
    Peggy: Well, you killed him. You killed the ad. You killed everything. You can stop now.
    Don: I’m just looking out for the agency.
    Peggy: You’re a monster.
Ω Sentence?

--
On the IMDb

Badlands

Falling Skies 3×3

& Denny: M-a-m-j-j-a-s-o. What letter comes next?
    Ben: Uh, “n.” March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, “n”... November.

& Ben: Try this one, Einstein. I’m looking for a word. The first two letters indicate a male, the first three a female, the first four a great man, the whole word a great woman. What’s the word?
    Denny: ... Tricky.
    Ben: Matt?
    Matt: If I wanted to go to school, I would’ve stayed home.

& Marina Peralta: Unless you’re planning on being impeached or getting a stroke, I don’t think we have to worry about it.
    Tom: In the last two years, I’ve been kidnapped, tortured, shot, implanted with an eye worm. Last week, I was almost torn apart by a harnessed kid and contaminated by a nuclear reactor. I think we can count on something happening, don’t you?

& Tector: So, what are we up against, Professor?
    Tom: I’m not sure... human beings.
    Tector: What the hell they got against us?
    Weaver: That’s the $64 million question.

---

& Tom: Why don’t you tell me what’s going on with you?
    Anne: You’re not gonna like it.
    Tom: I’ll keep an open mind.
    Anne: ... I don’t think she’s human.

& Tom: Have you looked at her lately? I don’t mean through a microscope. I mean, have you really looked at her? She’s beautiful. 10 fingers. 10 toes. No claws. No scales. She’s perfect.

Ω Garza?!?! What a nice surprise!
& Katherine Fisher: I work for the President, sir... the real President, Benjamin Hathaway. Who do you think sent me here?
Ω 2 Presidents? Both of the new United States? Nice turn.

& Jeanne: We’re all gonna die.
    Weaver: Yes. Someday. Someday, I surely plan to.
    Jeanne: I mean at their hands.
    Weaver: Maybe. But as long as we’re here, we can’t stop doing what we do, being who we are. Otherwise, we’re just already dead... dead on our feet, and what good is that?

& Tom: Sometimes the best thing that we can do for people is just to be there for them as a witness... when they leave.

--
On the IMDb

А. В. Иванов — Комьюнити

Денжерологи — 2

  “Глебу, в общем, наплевать было на усопшего. ...

&  И слава блогу.

&  – Мы скорбящие, но мы не лохи.
     – Э-э... «Большой Лебовски»? – опознал цитату Глеб.
     – Вы прошли на третий уровень.

&  – Я из «Поколения Пу». Это тройной идеал: комьюнити, кредит, креатив.

&  Самовыражение, в отличие от самореализации, так эгоистично, что ему нет дела до причины, нужен только повод.

&  Залог успеха – банальность мыслей и предсказуемость реакции.

&  Зачем попадать в чьи-то ловушки, даже если они и безвредны?

&  Революции происходят для всех, но не для каждого.

&  Женщина – это то, что отличает мужчину от робота.

&  Кто гонится, тот не догоняет.

&  Если долго глядеть в бездну, бездна поглядит в тебя...

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&  Здоровая жизнь сюжетна, но даже при сюжетности в бытийном отношении она статична. Ты ничего не можешь изменить. Ты явился, чтобы отработать всю программу: повзрослеть, поддаться искушениям, удовлетвориться малым, к концу затосковать – и умереть. Жизнь человека вписана в эту парадигму. И подлинная драматургия – только в образах... Или в аватарах.

&  Отношение к человеку – одно, отношение к его аватару – другое.

&  «Аватар» означает «воплощение», но кто или что воплощается в Сети? Ведь аватар автору не тождествен. ...аватар – сложный синтез нескольких сущностей. Как минимум трёх.
     ...первая сущность: самоидентификация.
     ...вторая сущность: роль.
     ...подлинная сущность, третья. Её можно назвать данностью.
     Берём три сущности человека: самоидентификацию, роль и данность. Перемножаем их друг на друга. Потом ещё раз перемножаем на коэффициент качества предъявления, то есть на талант или на бездарность. В итоге получаем аватар – сетевую виртуальную персону.
     Аватар – не функция, не бот и не заранее вычисленная личность. Он не проекция своего создателя в Сеть и даже не сумма проекций. Автор не может предсказать своего аватара и не может его контролировать, как родители не могут предсказать, какой ребёнок у них получится, и не могут полностью контролировать его поведение.
     Но это в идеале.

&  Верно сказал Экзюпери: «Единственная настоящая роскошь – это роскошь человеческого общения». В эпоху соцсетей и онлайн-кастингов слова Экзюпери обрели буквальное значение.

&  Чего всем этим людям не хватает в жизни, если они пошли в Сеть? И самое главное: они нашли здесь то, чего искали?

&  Судьба – сюжет, а её смысл – гипертекст. Судьбу проживают, а смысл можно только прочесть.
     Тексты, слагающиеся в гипертекст, – это образы. Где брать такие тексты, всегда решает культура эпохи. Древние греки брали из своей мифологии. Люди Средневековья черпали из религии. Позитивисты обращаются к истории. Пользователь двадцать первого века лезет в Википедию.
     Как увязать отобранные тексты в общий гипертекст, определяет господствующая форма коммуникации с трансцендентным. Грек Перикл понимал волю богов Олимпа, когда видел знамения и слушал оракула. Блаженный Августин постигал истину, толкуя притчи и аллегории из святоотеческих откровений. А для юзера ... поиск объективности шёл через ссылки и цитаты контента Web 2.0.
     Негодование на такой способ осмысления мира означало ношение невидимой сермяги. Или просто тягу на общение с идиотами.

&  – Ахтунг! Начинаем кибениматографировать!

Окончание