11 июн. 2013 г.

Derek 1×4

& Dougie: I can’t move. You can’t keep doing this, Derek.
    Derek: What?
    Dougie: This. This was never part of the job description for me.

& Derek: I loves wrestling. I’m strong and grabby. I don’t like real fighting. In real fighting, you fights people what you don’t like, so you can hurt ’em. But in wrestling, I wrestles people what I do like. It’s like strong cuddling, really
    Dougie: Strong cuddling? Is that what he calls it? Honestly, there’s times when I wish he didn’t like me as much. His affection’s going to kill me one day.

& Derek: Could you give AIDS cancer? If a dog had got rabies, attacked a man with AIDS and the man bit him and the dog bit the man, would the dog get AIDS?

& Rebecca: I wondered why you weren’t on Facebook.
    Hannah: ’When am I going to go on Facebook? What would I put on there? "Changed a bedpan“?’

& Hannah: Joan used to say, “You make a living from what you get. You make a life from what you give.”


& Dougie: What are you doing?
    Kev: Writing on crabs.
    Dougie: What’s all that about?
    Derek: He’s writing on crabs.
    Dougie: What? What the motherfuck are you writing on crabs for?
    Kev: Weird question. Why aren’t you writing on crabs, mate? That’s a better question.
    Dougie: It’s not. Why are you writing on crabs?
    Kev: Flat shiny surface, mate. Marker pen. You do the math.

& Kev: Just written TWAT on this one. If I could find a bigger one I’d write CARPET MUNCHER.
    Dougie: What other words are you writing?
    Kev: QUIM, TAMPON...
    Derek: There’s MUFF here. There’s COCK over there.

& Dougie: I’ve never heard of anyone going to the seaside and doing this as a little activity. Using crabs as fucking post-it notes.
    Kev: Who are you, crab police?

& Dougie: What’s BOLL?
    Kev: BOLL and OCKS. The only make sense together.

& Kev: Go on, boys. Go and annoy the world.
    Derek: Can you find TITS?

& Hannah: ’She’ll get over it, back at her five-bedroom house...’ She ain’t got room for her mum, though. Five bedrooms. I’ve got 23 bedrooms. And I’ve got a six-figure salary if you count the two after the decimal point.

--
On the IMDb

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