Above Exalted Cyclops

Two and a Half Men 6×21

& Chelsea: Isn’t it worth one night of your life to maybe make two people happy?
    Charlie: That’s not fair. I always come off bad when I answer questions like that truthfully.
    Chelsea: Just do it for me.
    Charlie: Ooooh.
    Chelsea: Is that a yes?
    Charlie: Remember those words when we go to bed tonight.
    Chelsea: What words?
    Charlie: Just do it for me.

& Alan: So-So what are we going to do now?
    Charlie: I don’t know. I guess we play along.
    Alan: Play along?! Are you serious?!
    Charlie: What am I supposed to do, Alan? Tell the truth? “Oh Chelsea, I almost forgot, your new BFF and I had a one-night stand and when I dumped her, she superglued my nutsack to my thigh and started stalking me. Oh, and then I thought maybe I was in love with her and followed her to England. And then when she came back from England, I thought I was dying and almost asked her to marry me.”
    Alan: Yeah, when you put it in story form, it really does sound bad.

& Berta: Boy, take one day off for a poker tournament and you miss a whole lot around here...
    Charlie: You said you were sick!
    Berta: I was healed. It’s a miracle.

& Chelsea: Berta, have you met Rose yet?
    Berta: ............ Screw it, I’m going home.

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& Charlie: What are you up to?
    Rose: Okay, at first, I was just doing a little light recon on Chelsea. To make sure you weren’t dating a whack job.
    Charlie: You thought Chelsea might be... Go on.
    Rose: Well, good news, she’s not. She’s got a cousin who’s a truck stop hooker. And her mom’s an honorary Kleagle in the Ku Klux Klan, but Chelsea is clean as a whistle.
    Charlie: Kleagle?
    Rose: According to Wikipedia it’s below Grand Dragon and above Exalted Cyclops.

& Alan: The fact is, we really like each other and we want to keep seeing each other.
    Rose: And we’d really like your blessing.
    Charlie: So, you actually want to be with him?
    Rose: I do.
    Charlie: And you believe she’s got no ulterior motive whatsoever?
    Alan: I do.
    Charlie: Fine. I now pronounce you fruit basket and nutcase. May God have mercy on your souls.

& Jake: It was an insult to my intelligence.
    Alan: Really?
    Jake: Everybody knows zombies can’t ride motorcycles.
    Alan: Yeah, that bumped me, too.
    Jake: And why would they wear helmets? They’re dead.
    Alan: Another good point.
    Jake: I don’t know who they’re making movies for these days...

& Chelsea: The problem is they jumped into bed too fast.
    Charlie: The problem is he doesn’t keep his glue solvent in his night stand.
    Chelsea: What’s that mean?
    Charlie: Another way of saying what you said.

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Σ Rose returned big time!