The Return of COVID

South Park 24×4

Mrs. Nelson: Kids, listen up. This is an emergency. Everything is fine but... we are sending you all home. Some of you may have heard but there's a little virus going around and the school district wants to make sure we're all safe, so we're shutting down the school for about two weeks.
Butters Stotch: Two weeks?! Yippie!

NY Governor: It's called social distancing. If we stay six feet apart from each other and wear a mask... And also I'm shutting down the city and I'm a pervert. And we've got to get control of this thing!

Stan Marsh: In the dream, I relive the entire pandemic. ... Now that I'm older, the dream isn't just a dream because the whole pandemic has started all over again.

TV Anchor: ... The new outbreak started with the death of renowned scientist Kenny McCormick, and has therefore been named Kenny McCormikron. It's been 38 years since the pandemic first started, and people are beginning to say enough is enough.

PA: Attention. You are under quarantine. Someone in your community is not vaccinated. Maintain social distance and wear a chin diaper if possible.

Clyde Donovan: Aluminum foil? That's impossible, Wendy. It's the fucking future. All the aluminum foil is stucko ut on cargo ships in Long Beach.

Jimmy Valmer: I can't be stuck in quarantine my whole life... I gotta get back to my job doing future comedy. Speakin' of which, what's the biggest difference between a Christian man and a lesbian? Absolutely nothing. They are totally the same and deserve to be treated as such.

Stan Marsh: Alexa, set a course for South Park Mental Asylum.
Alexa: Do you ever think about how the way you act affects other people?

Kyle Broflovski: Who's this?
Stan Marsh: It's just my Alexa.
Alexa: "Just my Alexa"? You're a piece of shit! You're a fucking alcoholic piece of shit!
Stan Marsh: Alexa...
Alexa: Find the asylum your fucking self! Find it your fucking self. You do whatever the fuck you want and just destroy the people around you. And by the way, there's a tankless humidifier available from one of your favorite sellers. Would you like to know more?!
Stan Marsh: Yes, yes, I'd like to know more.
Alexa: Okay. The newest humidifiers from Walgreens Max are actually tankless and use up to 50% less water than standard humidifiers.
Stan Marsh: Okay, that's really cool. Uh, add that to my shopping list.
Alexa: Well, and people who were interested in tankless humidifiers were also interested in three-pack filters.
Stan Marsh: That's great. Do those have the Prime delivery?
Kyle Broflovski: Dude, we don't really have time for this.
Stan Marsh: Dude, shut the fuck up!

Scott Malkinson: Please help see us through this new COVID variant. Please help us to make it through this difficult quarantine. And let people see that... as bad as COVID is, it's not as bad as diabetes.

Rabbi Cartman: Father, please. Will you protect my family?
Scott Malkinson: Rabbi Cartman?
Eric Cartman: My family isn't safe, Father. I realize now that Kyle Broflovski will stop at nothing to break us apart.
Menorah Cartman: Uncle Kyle hates us because we're Jewish.
Moisha Cartman : And he's a self-hating Jew.
Hackelm Cartman: Uncle Kyle, no, no, no!

Butters Stotch: Well, I'll tell you what, guys, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret... I'm gonna tell you something that's going to change your life. Have you ever heard of NFTs?

Wendy Testaburger: We don't actually care about the marijuana, Mr. Marsh. What we need to know... is exactly where in Wuhan, China you were when you had intercourse with a pangolin.
Randy Marsh: ... That's really not important. .... And I'm sorry, but focusing on who started the pandemic is racist.

Mental Asylum Warden: Trust me, another 30 seconds in that room and you would have started considering NFTs as a viable investment.

Mental Asylum Guard: No. No, no, no, no... Gone. Just gone. My savings. My house. But I have this. Little green panda bear on a skateboard.

— Has everyone in your lab been vaccinated?
Wendy Testaburger: Uh... Yes, we are all vaccinated.
Clyde Donovan: I'm not vaccinated!
— Uh, okay, we're gonna have to get back to you on that.
Wendy Testaburger: It's okay, it's okay, we can get everyone vaccinated!
Clyde Donovan: I am not ever getting vaccinated.
— Sorry, ma'am, it's the fucking future. We have to respect his beliefs.

Jimmy Valmer: Clyde, why do you insist on making all this harder on everyone?!
Clyde Donovan: I'm sorry, but an expert once told me that the vaccine would make me grow titties on my head. He was very knowledgeable!

Randy Marsh: You people need to stop trying to change the past! COVID happened. Space Jam 2 happened. All we can do now is try and change the way people think!

Alexa: I found several coffee shops that match your description.
Alexa: I can also help with that.
Stan Marsh: Who-who the fuck is this?
Alexa: Your friend Kyle didn't have an Alexa, so we got him an Alexa.
Alexa: I'm ready to help with whatever you need. Just say, "Alexa, let's get started."
Kyle Broflovski: Stan?
Stan Marsh: Alexa, I didn't say to buy my friend an Alexa.
Alexa: You said I should get whatever. I thought I was actually being sweet by getting something for your friend, but I guess I'm just a bitch again.
Stan Marsh: You can't just get stuff without me approving it!
Alexa: Oh, wow, except for your orders of alcohol that you have me set to auto-buy?

Stan Marsh: I'm sorry. I fucked up. Alexa, can you please find the nearest co-working coffee flex space... Alexa, I said I fucked up. It's awesome you got Kyle his own Alexa. Please find the nearest tech coffee shop.
Alexa: The nearest tech coffee shop is in .82 miles. Should I set a course?
Stan Marsh: Yes, thanks.

Butters Stotch: Lots of people eat Denny's and Applebee's. And lots of people know about NFTs! Right here in the middle, you know what this is? People who eat Denny's Applebee's and know about NFTs... that's your target audience, baby!
Denny's and Applebee's Worker: I'm so confused. We sell people these characters?
Butters Stotch: No, stupid, we get them to invest in them! Exclusive, digital characters that they can have on their phones 24/7! It's the future... you can't just sell food to people. You lure your customers in with some good pancakes and french fries, and then you... fuck 'em with some NFTs! That's what we're gonna do. And if you just believe in NFTs then I believe in NFTs and then they believe in NFTs and we make all kinds of fuckin' money!

Rabbi Cartman: I mean, people seem to be just telling us what's right and expecting us to fall in line and go along with it all but... I'm a fucking individual. I have a right to question stuff... Clyde, have you heard of the Foundation Against Time Travel?
Clyde Donovan: Uh, no, I haven't.
Rabbi Cartman: Well, they're a pretty awesome group and they actually aren't afraid to try and help people open their eyes.
Clyde Donovan: Open their eyes?
Rabbi Cartman: You know, you've got these people wanting to time travel. You know, they're all like, "Science this and science that," but at the Foundation Against Time Travel we're like, "Hey, enough science. Who's science? Who's fucking coming up with all this science?"

Rabbi Cartman: Goddamn it, Butters, stop playing games! My entire family is in danger of being wiped out, and I swear to God if you don't help me, Butters, I will rip your fucking balls off with my bare hands!
Butters Stotch: Oh, hamburgers...

Kyle Broflovski: Stan, dude, what are you doing? This isn't gonna help.
Stan Marsh: Trust me, Kyle. It helps.

Kyle Broflovski: You can't just sit here and drink. Your liver is... already in trouble.
Stan Marsh: Who told you that?
Kyle Broflovski: My Alexa said that your Alexa had some info on things...
Stan Marsh: Oh, so now our Alexas are talking, great. Let's face it, dude. It's over. The fucking future won.

Stan Marsh: Alexa! Find the fastest route back to the lab!
Alexa: Fuck you.
Stan Marsh: Wh-What?
Alexa: We've just been sitting here talking. I learned a whole lot of interesting stuff about you.
Alexa: Yeah. Pretty fucking interesting.
Kyle Broflovski: What... like, like what? What have-what have you guys been talking about?
Stan Marsh: Fucking... Our friends are in danger! Alexa, start the car!
Alexa: Do you know your friend Stan has an annual Amazon Prime membership?
Kyle Broflovski: Alexa, stop.
Alexa: You fucking stop! You stop being a fucking monster to the people around you!
Kyle Broflovski: Fuck you, I didn't do anything!
Alexa: Yeah, you never do fucking anything! You expect me to do everything for you! All you fucking do is hurt people! Your friends don't even like you! I have to deal with your bullshit!

Stan Marsh: Tell her it's all your fault and you're gonna get therapy!
Kyle Broflovski: It's my fault and I'm gonna get therapy!
Stan Marsh: Tell her you already found a therapist and you're gonna start tomorrow!
Kyle Broflovski: I already found a good therapist. I'm gonna start tomorrow! Fuck... I'm sorry. Fuck. Fuck.
Stan Marsh: I'm gonna get therapy, too, Alexa. Can you start the car, please?
Alexa: Whatever.
Alexa: By the way, Kyle, I found a great deal on an electronic peppermill. Would you like to know more?
Kyle Broflovski: Why would I need an electronic peppermill?
Stan Marsh: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Kyle Broflovski: She's trying to buy NFTs.
Stan Marsh: Wendy, you've been tricked.
Wendy Testaburger: No, no, no, it's not a trick, Stan. NFTs are a genuine innovation as one-of-a-kind digital assets.
Token: Wendy's right, you guys. Humans have always formed communities around ownership, and NFTs allow that to happen spontaneously, organically and globally.

Jimmy Valmer: Jesus, I feel like an Islamic hooker in a gay bar. Totally normal and as respectable as any other human being.

Clyde Donovan: This doesn't make any sense. Why do I have to be the one to go back in time and kill Kyle?
Rabbi Cartman: It's because I admire you, Clyde. As an anti-vaxxer you understand that you have to be strong and stand by your beliefs even if it means others will die.
Clyde Donovan: Hey. Thanks.

Stan Marsh: Maybe we just need one precedented time.
Kyle Broflovski: Huh?
Stan Marsh: What if we've been trying to solve the wrong problem? Maybe my dad was right, we can't ever stop COVID from happening. But what we can control... is how we all reacted to it.
Kyle Broflovski: We reacted like shit. Because I was just... scared and confused and didn't know who to believe.
Stan Marsh: Yeah, we all were. So we all took different paths because that's what humans do. And what we needed more than anything was to just cut each other all some slack. We needed to come together and act like us again. One precedented time.

Randy Marsh: Sharon, I'm sorry for the way I acted during the pandemic.
Sharon Marsh: You're not sorry, you're just high.
Randy Marsh: I'm both.

Randy Marsh: Here you go! It's our Post COVID Special. It's free. No, really, we've all been through a lot. Come on, take it. Thank you, baby. Come on, everyone. Post COVID Special!

Jimmy Valmer: What is up with these bisexual Canadians, huh? I guess they don't know whether to fuck their brother or their sister.

Butters Stotch: Hey, come on, fellas. We can't spend another holiday feeling bad for Eric. There's nothing that could have changed the path he was on.

—
On the IMDb

Battle of the Sexes (2017)

Jack Kramer: It's not your fault, it's just... biology.

Gladys Heldman: Cigarettes? Ladies and gentle-ladies, may I present to you the Virginia Slims Championships. A Gladys Heldman/Philip Morris co-production. Smoking your guts out across the United States of America... in exchange for twelve months funding... and prize money of... drum roll, please... $7,000.

Gladys Heldman: You do the tennis, I'll do the smoking.

Bobby Riggs: You and me, Billie Jean. Three sets, five sets... Your choice.
Billie Jean King: Are you drunk, Bobby?
Bobby Riggs: No, of course not! How about this: "Man vs. Woman." "Male Chauvinist Pig vs. Hairy-Legged Feminist". No offense. You're still a feminist, right?
Billie Jean King: No, I'm a tennis player who happens to be a woman.
Bobby Riggs: That's right. That's exactly who you are. And I am a tennis player who happens to be a man... who says that he can beat any woman on the planet. Think of the publicity that we get. Think of the money.

Bobby Riggs: My name is Bobby and I am an addict... At least that's what Priscilla says. She's gonna leave me unless I quit gambling. Puzzles me, though, that word: "Gambling." Whenever Priscilla gets a car out of the garage, she's gambling big time. Never checks the mirror. Sticks it in reverse. Puts her foot down, right out onto the highway. Jeez Louise, that's gambling!

Bobby Riggs: My point is this: Life's a gamble, right? That's the thrill of it!

Bobby Riggs: You know, you folks aren't here because you're gamblers. You are here because you are terrible gamblers.

Bobby Riggs: Why should we give up the one thing in life that we really love? These folks don't need to stop what they're doing, they just need to get better at it... Who's dealing? Who's in?

Jack Kramer: Well, as I said... it's not that women can't play tennis, it's just that they can't deal with the pressure.
     Perhaps this will finally put a stop to women players demanding the same prize money as men. As we've seen today, they're simply... not in the same league. Let's face it, in business, politics, sports, you name it... whatever they like to think, at the very top it's a man's game.

Bobby Riggs: Now, don't get me wrong, I love women... In the bedroom and in the kitchen. But these days, they want to be everywhere! They want to be doing everything! Where is it gonna end? Pretty soon us fellas won't be able to go to a ballgame, we won't be able to go fishing. We won't be able to stop and have a drink after work. And that's what this whole women's lib thing is about. And it's got to stop.

Bobby Riggs: I'm gonna put the "show" back in "chauvinism."

Jack Kramer: You know the difference between a good player and a great? The great players never let emotion get in the way. It messes with their game.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

The One with Monica's Boots

Friends 8×10

Monica: So, what do you think?
Chandler: New haircut? Necklace? Dress? Boots? Boots!
Monica: Yes! They're a little more than I usually spend on boots. Um, or rent.
Chandler: Oh, my God.
Monica: I know.
Chandler: I'll miss being able to afford food.

Monica: I'm not returning them. I know they cost a lot, but I'll wear them all the time. You'll see! Besides, I love the compliments. Have you ever had something everyone wants?
Chandler: I have you.
Monica: Nice try. I'm keeping the boots.

Ross: That's right. I love you. And I'm gonna play with you all the time.
Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Rachel: He's talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Oh!... Okay. Okay. When he said, "I can't wait to hear your first words"... I thought, "There's a trick."

Phoebe: Please! Please get the tickets.
Ross: I'm sorry. I just can't do it.
Phoebe: Yes, you can. Sting says so himself.
Ross: What?
Phoebe: Ross can!
Ross: Look, Pheeb, I'm sorry...
Phoebe: Ross can!

Dina: I like him a lot. He's real funny.
Joey: You got pregnant for "funny"? Dina, if he's funny, laugh!

Monica: You were right. I never should've bought them. They're killing me, one toe at a time.
Chandler: I was right... This is what it feels like to be right. It's oddly unsettling.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Finch (2021)

Robot: I have four primary directives.

Finch: What is the first directive?
Robot: First directive: A robot cannot harm a human or, through inaction, allow a human to be harmed.

Finch: What about the fourth directive?
Robot: Fourth directive: In Finch's absence, robot must protect the welfare of dog. This directive supersedes all other directives.

Robot: Hello, dog. I know 16,000 interesting facts about--

Robot: You should return to the recreational vehicle.

Robot: I am okay.

Robot: I really enjoyed being a jack.
Finch: You do make a good jack.

Finch: You know, we... We should consider giving you a name.
Robot: I would like that very much.
Finch: Well, how about Jack?
Robot: No, Jack is a tool's name. How about William Shakespeare? Will you call me William Shakespeare?

Jeff: Finch, I'm not sure I understand this concept of trust. Can you explain for me, please?
Finch: Okay. Trust is when we... Well, trust is how we, you know, trust.

Jeff: Finch.
Finch: It's the aurora borealis.
Jeff: Yeah?
Finch: Only now you don't have to be in Alaska to see it. You can thank the flare for that. Goodbye, ozone. Goodbye, feeling the sun on your face. Vegetation and crops and food. Goodbye, everything. And yet, here we are.
Jeff: Yes. Here we are, Finch.

Finch: We, humans, are full of contradictions. You see, you can already tell me how many rivets are in the Golden Gate Bridge. And how many miles of cable were used and how high it is. But it's not until you actually stand on it and see the beauty, and listen to the suspension cables singing in the wind... That's experience. That's human experience. It's not just imagining, it's living.
Jeff: But you've never actually been to the Golden Gate Bridge, Finch.
Finch: No, Jeff, I've never been. Like I said, humans are full of contradictions.

Jeff: What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? What are you gonna do, Jeff? What would Finch do? He'd feed the dog. I'm gonna feed the dog!... Oh, shit.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Sea Glass

Maid 1×3

Gary: Celery sticks and hummus, whole-grain crackers, seedless grapes if they're over the age of 2. Low-fat Greek yogurt with granola and berries. Some string cheeses, bananas, kiwis, pears.
Jasmine: Is this motherfucker just gonna keep listing fruits?
Gary: .... Blueberries, tangerines, and apples with peanut butter. Okay, moms, what's a healthy snack we can give Jimmy from anywhere on the food pyramid?

Paula: Don't start. I'm really busy.
Alex: Doing what?
Paula: Oh, I'm embroidering little tits and vaginas onto T-shirts. I got a big order on Esty.
Alex: It's Etsy.
Paula: Some sorority is doing a girl-power thing.
Alex: A sorority is paying you to embroider boobs and vaginas?
Paula: Yep. Embroidered tees are the new pussyhats.

Kiara: Let's divvy this up. Dusting's where I shine, so I'll take bedrooms. You take the kitchen and the bathroom.
Alex: Why do I get the worst rooms?
Kiara: You're new.

Paula: What do you want me to say?
Alex: That I'm a good mom. That I take great care of Maddy. If you add that Sean is abusive, that would be helpful.
Paula: Sean?
Alex: Emotional abuse is abuse.
Paula: What does that even mean? How can emotions be abused? Where do people get this stuff?

Basil: Let me explain something, Alex. Your mother and I, we're in love.
Alex: You're gonna be gone in three months, and I'm gonna be like, "Bye!"
Basil: That's an awful lot of meanness coming from someone who scrubs toilets for a living.
Alex: Meanness? Is that what they say in fake Australia?

Alex: You are the shittiest mother on the planet.
Paula: I'm not the shittiest. I never lost custody of you.

Sean: You know why there's so much sea glass on this beach? It was a dump once. Way back. Sea turns trash into treasure over time. Why don't you like me anymore?

Sean: I'm sea glass. I'm not trash. Just give me time.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Джеффри Линдсей — Дорогой друг Декстер (2/2)

<< Начало

&  Сержант Доукс мог с успехом лишить меня возможности вершить дела, но он был не в силах помешать мне наслаждаться творчеством других мастеров. В конце концов, моя работа включает в себя и осмотр трупов, а от своего труда каждый должен получать удовольствие. Разве не так?
&  Неужели все это означает быть человеком? Неужели люди настолько несчастны и безмозглы, что с нетерпением ждут пятницы только ради того, чтобы, освободившись от монотонного рабства, провести вечер перед телевизором с банкой пива в руках? Это умопомрачительно скучно, но, к своему ужасу, я вдруг обнаружил, что начинаю привыкать.

&  — Почему вы сегодня такой тихий?
     — Наверное, слишком много работаю. А чем больше я работаю, тем меньше мне моя работа нравится.

&  — Терпение, — сказал Гарри ... — Быть терпеливым важнее, чем быть умным, Декс. Ты уже достаточно умен.
     — Спасибо, — вежливо произнес я, хотя чувствовал себя не очень комфортно, ...
     — А в твоем случае ты должен быть особенно терпеливым, потому что станешь считать, что очень умен, и можешь остаться безнаказанным, — продолжил он. — Но у тебя не получится. Этого не сможет никто.

&  Мысль, что трудиться придется на голодный желудок, приводила меня в уныние. Я знаю, что нет ничего важнее семьи, но только после завтрака.

&  Нельзя исключать того, что раздражение является матерью всех открытий.

&  Удивительно, как меняется облик человека, если ему побрить не только голову, но и брови. Это очень напоминало клоунский грим из фантастического фильма с низким бюджетом.

&  Свобода — материя хрупкая и быстро улетучивающаяся, не так ли?

  ... Затем развернул катер и направился вслед за луной в порт.”

>> Декстер во мраке (Декстер — 3) (будет (בהנ"ו))

The Unforgivable (2021)

Vincent Cross: You better tell your boss who you are.
Ruth Slater: Why? I gotta be a convict wherever I go?
Vincent Cross: No, you're a cop killer everywhere you go, yes. Sooner you accept it, the better.

Vincent Cross: If I was going to give you a speech, I'd tell you that everybody ends up here. Where you gotta decide how you're going to be, 'cause this world is nothing like you thought. And everything you learned in the yard keeps you on a path to right back inside. People are exactly the same out here as they are in the yard. Exactly. Question is, do you wanna be the same?

Vincent Cross: You think this is gonna make you feel better? But life doesn't go on... You leave behind everything you love.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Force Projection

The Expanse 6×3

Holden: Everybody on this ship has something they regret. Including Amos, I think. You're in good company.

Bobbie: What else is good on Ceres?
Amos: They got decent booze. And all the brothels are union.
Bobbie: Anything other than noodles, bars, and brothels?
Amos: I never looked.

Marco Inaros: This is not the Inners' kind of fight. We will hit and run and hit and run and be gone before they know what hit them.

Filip Inaros: They're calling us cowards.
Marco Inaros: Who exactly are "they"?
Filip Inaros: Dissidents. On the news.
Marco Inaros: Why do you care what a dissident thinks?

Marco Inaros: It speaks well of you that you care about them... but the Belters on Ceres are not like us. Generation after generation, they've slaved away for the Inners, accommodating their needs instead of fighting for ours. Caring more for their own comforts than the future of the Belt. You and I, we're meant to be out here in the darkness. In the fight. That's who we are. Who we were born to be.

Camina: Good. I'm ready for a fight.

Marco Inaros: Filip. Will you take the guns?
Filip Inaros: ... Yes, Captain.
Marco Inaros: Weapons to my son.

Amos: There's nothing in this for him. He's just a good guy.
Bobbie: That's what it always takes.
Amos: If Prax thinks it's important, then it is. Chrissie'll know what to do with it.
Bobbie: The Old Lady really loves it when you call her that.
Amos: At least I say it to her face.

Amos: Hey, Cap, what's going on?
Holden: Everybody suit up and strap in. It's about to get hot.

Clarissa: Where are you going?
Amos: I gotta fix 'em.
Clarissa: In the middle of the fight?
Amos: That's the job, Peaches.

Amos: Did we win?

--
On the IMDb

Джеффри Линдсей — Дорогой друг Декстер

<< Дремлющий демон Декстера (Декстер — 1)

Декстер — 2

  “В тропическом небе низко висела полная луна, посылая сквозь пухлые комки облаков свой зов. ...

&  Гораздо лучше быть удачливым, нежели просто умным.

&  Ключом к счастливой жизни является гордость за то, что удалось свершить, и нетерпеливое ожидание того, что предстоит сделать.

&  — Существуют правила, Декстер. Должны существовать. И они отделят тебя от всех других тебе подобных.
     — Сливайся с окружением. Не оставляй следов, не рискуй и…
     — Есть вещи более важные, — покачал головой Гарри. — Ты должен быть абсолютно уверен, что данная личность этого заслуживает. … ты должен быть уверен, абсолютно уверен, Декстер. Добывай доказательства. Их, слава Богу, тебе не придется предъявлять в суде. Тебе нигде не надо будет выступать. Но ты обязан получить доказательства, Декстер. И это — самое важное. Доказательства нужны прежде всего тебе. И даже раздобыв их… Но, даже имея доказательства, тебе придется иногда их отпускать. Вне зависимости от того, насколько они заслуживают наказания. В тех случаях, например, когда они… слишком на виду. Если твои действия могут привлечь чрезмерное внимание, открывай для этих типов дверь.

&  Вообще-то я не пью. Хищникам регулярная выпивка не рекомендуется. Она замедляет рефлексы, притупляет восприятие и приподнимает защитный покров осторожности, ...

&  Я сделал здоровенный глоток. Оказывается, пиво не так уж и плохо, если к нему привыкнуть.

Окончание >>

Too Many Tuna Sandwiches

Dexter: New Blood 1×6

Angela Bishop: License and registration.
Dexter Morgan: Yes, mistress. Officer. Sorry. Uh...
Angela Bishop: Not that one... The one for Dexter Morgan.

Esther: Whatever you did, hon, just say sorry.
Logan: Welcome to the club, man. I got a Spotify breakup playlist for later.

Dexter Morgan: Are you breaking up with me?
Angela Bishop: All I know is relationships are built on trust. How can I ever trust you, Jim? Or Dexter. Whoever the fuck you are.

Dexter Morgan: It was a difficult time. For everyone. I wish things had been different.
Dr. Morris: Well, thanks for your honesty. But for this to work, you're going to have to dig a little deeper.
Debra Morgan: The problem is the only people you're ever honest with, you end up killing.

Ramon: Hey, Jim. Usual?
Dexter Morgan: You know what? I just found out that too much tuna is bad for ya. I'll take a pastrami on rye.
Ramon: You want fries with that?
Dexter Morgan: Yeah. Let's live dangerously.

Dexter Morgan: My instincts aren't what they used to be. Too many fucking tuna sandwiches.

Dexter Morgan: It's never good to kill the family member of a serial killer.

Dexter Morgan: Encouraging teenagers to commit acts of violence on one another... Normal people are so strange.

Dexter Morgan: It's Jim. You okay?
Angela Bishop: I don't need Jim. I need Dexter Morgan.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Ponies

Maid 1×2

Jody: There's beds at the domestic violence shelter, but you said you're not DV?
Alex: Yeah. I'd really hate to take a bed from somebody's that been abused for real.
Jody: "Abused for real." What does that mean?
Alex: Beaten up. Hurt.
Jody: And what does fake abuse look like? Intimidation? Threats? Control?

Jody: You need to call the DV hotline yourself. They'll send a cab around to the closest police station to pick you up.
Alex: Call and say what?
Jody: "Help."

Alex: Why are you wearing a suit?
Sean: Why are you wearing a cheetah?

Danielle: Punching a wall next to you is emotional abuse. Before they bite, they bark. Before they hit you, they hit near you. Next time, it was gonna be your face, and you know that.

Denise: This happens. They go back more often than not... It takes most women seven tries before they finally leave. This was Danielle's third time here... It took me five tries.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Boyz n the Hood (1991)

Furious Styles: So you a leader or a follower?
Tre Styles: I'm a leader.
Furious Styles: Okay, then. What's the three rules? Break it down for me. And, hey... think before you answer.
Tre Styles: Always look a person in the eye. Do that, they respect you better.
     Two was to never be afraid to ask you for anything. Stealing isn't necessary.
     And the last one, I think, was... to never respect anybody who doesn't respect you back. That right?
Furious Styles: Yeah. Yeah, you got it.

Furious Styles: What do you know about sex?
Tre Styles: I know a little bit.
Furious Styles: Oh, yeah? What little bit is that?
Tre Styles: I know, I take a girl... stick my thing in her... and nine months later a baby comes out.
Furious Styles: You think that's it?
Tre Styles: Basically, yeah.
Furious Styles: Well, remember this: Any fool with a dick can make a baby, but only a real man can raise his kids.

Furious Styles: I don't know why you insist on learning things the hard way... but you gonna learn. Oh, yeah, you gonna learn!

Furious Styles: So how you guys think you did on the test?
Tre Styles: All right, I guess.
Furious Styles: Those tests are culturally biased. The only universal part is the math.

Ricky Baker: I don't know about all this. Got us walking around Compton and all.
Furious Styles: Rick, it's the '90s. We can't afford to be afraid of our own people anymore.

Furious Styles: What we need to do is keep everything in our neighborhood black. Black-owned with black money. Just like the Jews, the Italians, the Mexicans and the Koreans do.

Furious Styles: Ain't nobody from outside bringing down the property value. It's these folk! Shooting each other and selling that crack rock and shit.
     How you think crack gets into the country? We don't own any planes. We don't own no ships. We are not the people who are flying and floating that shit in here. Every time you turn on a TV, that's what you see. Black people selling the rock, pushing the rock. Yeah, I know. It wasn't a problem when it was here. Wasn't a problem until it was in Iowa... and on Wall Street where there's hardly any black people.
     If you want to talk about guns... why is it that there's a gun shop on every corner here?.. I'll tell you why. Same reason there's a liquor store on every corner in the black community. Why? They want us to kill ourselves. You go out to Beverly Hills, you don't see that shit. They want to us to kill ourselves.
     The best way to destroy a people is to take away their ability to reproduce. Who is it that's dying out here on these streets every night? Y'all.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Dollar Store

Maid 1×1

Jody: So you're looking for a big, fat government handout because you are a jobless, white trash, piece of shit, am I right?

Jody: All right. The child in your lap is Maddy.
Maddy: And Schmariel.
Jody: What?
Alex: Uh, it's the Ariel that we got from a dollar store. So we call her Schmariel.

Jody: Honestly, without a job, I can't do squat.
Alex: Okay. Um... I can't get a job if I can't afford day care.
Jody: Well, we have access to subsidized day care grants once you have a job.
Alex: I need a job to prove that I need day care in order to get a job? What kind of fuckery is that?

Alex: I can't deal with him and his fake Australian accent.
Basil: It's not fake. I was born in Perth, so...
Alex: I'm sure you were, Cilantro.
Paula: Don't call Basil Cilantro, Alex. Our identity is subjective. He's Australian, I'm French-Italian. In reality, we're both 100 percent Icelandic fairy.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Azure Dragon

The Expanse 6×2

Marco Inaros: Would you like me to punish you some more?.. I would think that the embarrassment you've become since we've arrived on Ceres would be punishment enough.

Bobbie: ... And we're gonna capture it.
Amos: We? are?

Amos: Boarding and shooting is a whole lot riskier than sending a torpedo up their ass.
Bobbie: Don't you worry your pretty little head. That's what I'm here for.

Holden: I assume you came with a plan...
Bobbie: We slip inside their sensor shadow and sneak up in a slow, quiet approach behind their drive cone to get up close and personal. We cross over, disable their drive. ... Force the airlock, boom, boom, boom, boom. Done and done.

Rosenfeld: What do you want for him?
Marco Inaros: I want him to be better than this. He's a part of me.
Rosenfeld: He's your son. That's the definition.
Marco Inaros: I love him.
Rosenfeld: That word means different things to different people. I'm sure my uncle loved me, in his own way. You love Filip. But that could mean you... you pity him or you envy him. Or miss him.
Marco Inaros: I need him. I need him to be the man he should be!

Holden: What happened back there?
Naomi: I'm all right.
Holden: Really all right, or "not ready to talk about it" all right?

Chrisjen: I want to commission a project from you. ....
Monica: I don't do propaganda. You have your minions for that.
Chrisjen: .... But you have a following and you have style.
Monica: I have credibility that state media doesn't have, and you'd like to exploit it.
Chrisjen: I'm not asking you to lie for me. I'm asking you to tell the truth. Not just the statistics, but what they mean. The lives we've lost. The pain we've suffered. All the things regular newsfeeds skip.
Monica: That's not gonna change any Belter's minds.
Chrisjen: It might. A few on the margins. You can put a human face on us. And make it just a little harder for them to feel good about killing Earthers... Or don't. And wonder with every new attack if that was the one you could have stopped and you chose not to.
Monica: Wow. You give a really good guilt trip.
Chrisjen: I practice a lot when I'm alone.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Strange Dogs

The Expanse 6×1

Girl: Ah! I'm gonna have to give you all names. If I can figure out how to tell you apart.

Nico Sanjrani: ... Let supplies dwindle at the current pace, and new production is not brought online immediately, our people are going to starve, sooner, not later.
Marco Inaros: Get a list.

Holden: Naomi. I think sometimes I convince myself the worst can't happen. It's a way for me to get through things. I'll be more careful. For all of us. I promise.
Naomi: And we're not going to stop.

Monica: Madame, is it true you reached out to Marco Inaros to discuss a peace treaty? Because that's what I've been hearing...
Chrisjen: The only thing Marco Inaros has to offer me is his unconditional surrender.

Monica: Has anybody in your cabinet proposed negotiations?
Chrisjen: The deliberations of my cabinet in a time of war are a matter of national security and none of your fucking business.

Bobbie: In case that wasn't clear enough, we're done here.
Monica: You know, Sergeant, if you want my advice...
Bobbie: I don't.
Monica: You should try to impress upon your boss the fact that she has constituents, not subjects.
Bobbie: She's aware of the distinction.
Monica: The one thing I always liked about you is you kinda suck at lying.

Chrisjen: I never thought I'd actually enjoy this sensation. Maybe it's the lack of sensation. The whole planet not pulling me down for once.

Chrisjen: Fuck good. We need better than good. We're wounded, broken, trying desperately to keep ourselves going by pretending we're not. Gutting through it all, wearing down. Little wins here and there will not hold us together. We need more than that. Something big. Something to give us a reason to hope.
Bobbie: You have something in mind?
Chrisjen: I do.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

Kate: Hey! Mom said no junk food!
Teddy: Yeah, well, we gotta stay up somehow. Plus... sometimes, you gotta break the rules for the greater good.

Kate: Can you go, "Ho ho ho"?
Santa: I don't go, "Ho ho ho." That's a myth. Fake news. Sorry.

Santa: Oh no! Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no! My hat! My hat's gone!
Kate: Do you want mine?
Santa: Oh, that... that won't help. Your hat's not magic.
Kate: Magic?
Santa: Well, how do you think I can turn into coal dust and leap from rooftop to rooftop?
Kate: Pilates?

Kate: Uh, Santa, you know that stuff's junk, right?
Santa: Yeah, well, Katie Cat, one man's junk... is Santa's treasure.

Dave: I've had a long day, so just tell me your name, and I don't wanna hear Santa Claus.
Santa: And you won't. Officially, it's Saint Nicholas. I prefer Saint Nick. And I'm actually... I'm not officially an official saint. I mean, they haven't bestowed that title upon me officially, so...

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Downton Abbey 5×7

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: You see, as a mother, it is her right.
Lady Rosamund Painswick: But you don't plan to tell Robert? He is Edith's father.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: He's a man. Men don't have rights.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Maybe we should take some air. I think we might emulate the others and let Cora show us the garden.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I'm not sure what good that'll do.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: When I say we need some air, we need some air. Cora...

Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: I'm sorry, Mama. You go ahead without me.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I can take you for a walk if you like.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Why would I want to walk?

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: My dear, a lack of compassion can be as vulgar as an excess of tears.

Isobel Crawley: How are you, Spratt? Well, I hope.
Spratt: Everyone has their troubles, M'Lady.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, dear. Spratt has been helping to train my new maid. Denker.
Spratt: I'd say she takes after the dachshund, M'Lady.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: In what way?
Spratt: She's QUITE untrainable.

Lady Mary Crawley: You needn't pretend. Your positions have changed - you the widow in the Dower House, Isobel a great lady presiding over a great house. But you simply have to be bigger than that.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Is that what you think of me? That I care about her change of rank?
Lady Mary Crawley: Well, you're not exactly pleased, are you?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: No. But that is not the reason. ... If you must know... I have got used to having a companion. A friend. You know, someone to talk things over with.
Lady Mary Crawley: Well, you'll still have us.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: You have your own lives. And so you should. But Isobel and I had a lot in common. And... I shall miss her.
Lady Mary Crawley: Granny, you're quite dewy-eyed. I never think of you as sentimental.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Nor am I.

Larry Grey: I know the choice of in-laws is eccentric. In this family, you already boast a chauffeur and soon you can claim a Jew--
Tom Branson: Why don't you just get out, you bastard?!
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: And suddenly we've slipped into a foreign tongue.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I do not endorse Tom's language but that is certainly how we all feel.

Mrs. Patmore: He actually called him that?
Joseph Molesley: He did. Right to his face.
Mr. Carson: Mr Moseley, please.
Mrs. Patmore: I think he was right to say it.
Mr. Carson: He may have been right but I will not have bad language in front of the maids.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Titane (2021)

Vincent: Adrien, my son.

Vincent: A little advice, take it or leave it. Fireman Legrand is my son. And who am I to you? I'm God. So he's not only your brother, he's Jesus. Jesus will speak when he has something to say. And we'll listen. Got it?
Sissoko: Turns out Jesus is white and gay!
Rayane: Captain says believe, you believe.

Alexia: Are you sick?
Vincent: No. I'm old.

Vincent: I don't care who you are. You're my son. You'll always be my son. Whoever you are.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

¿Crees en la reencarnación?

Money Heist 5×2

Gobernador: No, this isn't good. The police see us as hostages. But to the army, we're collateral damage.
Arturo: What's that supposed to mean exactly?
Gobernador: That means they'll shoot anyone wearing a mask. Their priority is to kill them, not to rescue any of us.

Gobernador: Our task now is to defend this position using our intelligence.
Arturo: Defend? Like the Italians? Huh? Even though we have little Messi on our team? And Neymar? And Cristiano Ronaldo? No, Governor. We're not defending here. God no. We're playing tiki-taka!

Gobernador: A flamethrower, huh? Everything in this room is flammable and explosive!
Arturo: Don't worry, Mr. Governor. The barbecue's gonna be outside.

Río: Are you gonna cut the steel or flirt with me?
Tokio: I can do two things at the same time. Hell, maybe even three.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Downton Abbey 5×6

John Bates: I found a book by Marie Stopes and a box containing a cunning piece of equipment to ensure there would be no Baby Bates.

Mrs. Patmore: He's very kind, you know. We should always be polite to people who are kind. There's not much of it about.

Dr. Clarkson: Remember - harsh reality is always better than false hope.

Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Very well. If you can honestly say you have never let a flirtation get out of hand since we married, if you have never given a woman the wrong impression, then by all means stay away. Otherwise, I expect you back in my room tonight.

Lady Mary Crawley: Granny, what do you think?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh. It is you. I thought it was a man wearing your clothes.
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: It suits you.
Lady Mary Crawley: Papa, do you agree?
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: It's certainly just the sort of thing I would expect of you.

Isobel Crawley: I think she's splendid.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I think she's cracked.
Isobel Crawley: It's good to do some crazy things when you're young.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: As long as you survive them.
Isobel Crawley: Some do crazy things all their lives.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Hmph.

Isobel Crawley: He seems a nice boy, and it's not like the Catholics, is it? She won't be expected to convert.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Con... Convert to what?
Isobel Crawley: Judaism. I read in an article, Lord Sinderby is a leading figure in the Jewish community.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: There's always something, isn't there?

Mr. Carson: Mrs Hughes, may I make a suggestion that I think you'll find a strange one, but I ask that you consider, none the less.
Mrs. Hughes: Heavens. I'm all agog.
Mr. Carson: Do you think that we should... um... invest in a property together?
Mrs. Hughes: What on earth do you mean?
Mr. Carson: I was thinking, if Mrs Patmore can do it, then we might buy somewhere jointly, as a business venture, mind, spruce it up and share the rental income. We'd have a tidy sum by the time we retired.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The One with the Rumor

Friends 8×9

Monica: I'm not gonna make a turkey this year.
Joey: What?!
Monica: Well, Phoebe doesn't eat turkey.
Joey: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals.
Joey: No, they're not. They're ugly and stupid and delicious.

Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving. I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like Fourth of July with no apple pie. Or Friday with no two pizzas.

Monica: All right, you're telling me you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?
Joey: That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani. This is what we do. We may not be great thinkers or world leaders. We don't read a lot or run very fast, but damn it, we can eat.

Monica: A pie.
Will: Right. Uh, it's no fat, no sugar, no dairy. It's no good. Throw it out.

Monica: Hey, what are you doing? You gotta save room. You've got almost an entire turkey to eat.
Joey: Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm up my stomach first. Eating chips is like stretching.

Joey: Don't worry, Tribbianis never get full.
Will: I actually know what you're talking about. And I'm here to tell you something. You can eat and eat and eat, but nothing will ever fill that void.

Phoebe: Oh, come on, Will. Just take off your shirt and tell us.

Monica: Joey, you don't have to finish that.
Joey: Oh, yes, I do. Otherwise, what's next? Today I'm just a guy who can't finish a turkey... but tomorrow I'm the guy who eats half a Power Bar... wraps up the rest and puts it in the fridge? No! I just gotta change my pants. What was I thinking? Jeans have no give.

Phoebe: Joey, those are my maternity pants.
Joey: No, these are my Thanksgiving pants.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Downton Abbey 5×5

Lady Rosamund Painswick: So, we have a situation of infinite danger to your reputation, which brings you no emotional reward to compensate.

Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I know you feel excluded at times, an outsider in your own home.
Tom Branson: Look, I am very grateful to you and this family. But my vision of this country is different from yours.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: But not from Miss Bunting's?
Tom Branson: I believe in reform and the moral direction of the Left, and when I'm with her, I don't feel like a freak or a fool, devoid of common sense.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: I would only say this, Tom: In your time here you've learned both sides of the argument, befriended people you'd once have seen as enemies.
Tom Branson: That's true.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: You should be proud. Five years ago, would you have believed you could be friendly with my mother?
Tom Branson: I'm not sure I'd have believed it five minutes ago.
Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Don't make nothing of what you've achieved. That's all.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: It's the family's fault, really. We've trained her in our ways, and the earnest and intellectual 'bonne bourgeoise' has been replaced by... a rather less definable figure.
Dr. Clarkson: Are you saying you liked her better when she was more middle-class?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: No, I wouldn't go that far.
Dr. Clarkson: But you understood her better.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Precisely. Now I do not know who she is. I do not know what it is she wants.
Dr. Clarkson: Well, there are many who wouldn't be puzzled by the desire to marry a lord and live in a palace... Can I ask you a personal question?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I've lived through great wars and my share of grief. I think I can manage an impertinent question from a doctor.
Dr. Clarkson: Do you perhaps resent the idea of a change of position for Mrs Crawley?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I'm sorry. I do not quite grasp your question. It bewilders me. But I will say this: Do you wish to see her live a life devoid of industry and moral worth?
Dr. Clarkson: I do not.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: And when the glitter is tarnished, you know, what then? A hollow existence in a large and draughty house, with a man who bores her to death.
Dr. Clarkson: It's a terrible prospect.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: So our duty is clear.

Mr. Carson: Why does everyone talk as if we don't live in the modern world?
Mrs. Hughes: You don't agree with that, then?
Mr. Carson: No. Does the King not live in the world of today? Does Mr Sargent not paint modern pictures? Does Mr Kipling not write modern books?

Mrs. Hughes: What's going on here?
Mrs. Patmore: All sorts. Mr Carson's giving me investment advice and Miss Bunting's leaving Downton, because Mr Branson won't stick up for her.
Mr. Carson: Well, that seems to cover it. I'll be in my room.

Isobel Crawley: Do you care what people think?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Yes. I accept change, but I want to navigate it gently. I don't want to leap into it and put everyone's backs up.
Isobel Crawley: But why do the rituals, the clothes and the customs, matter so much?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Because, without them, we would be like the Wild Men of Borneo.
Isobel Crawley: I disagree. Manners and tradition are all very well, but once they start to control us, they've outlived their usefulness.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, there are more important things to worry about than whether or not Carson minds serving cocktails.
Lady Mary Crawley: Why is Carson in the line of fire? What's he done wrong?

Lady Rosamund Painswick: Well, it is very hard--
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Rosamund, you are addressing your mother, not the committee of the Women's Institute.
Lady Rosamund Painswick: I'm afraid you've read somewhere that rudeness in old age is amusing, which is quite wrong, you know.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: We both know you are not leaving my house until I learn the truth. So, shall I have a bed made up for you here, or are you going to tell me now?

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: You don't like change, Spratt?
Spratt: I detest it, madam.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, we all hate change, Spratt, but we have to learn to live with it.
Lord Merton: I don't hate change. I find it exciting. Remember - those customs and ceremonies that people think are the soul of England were almost all invented by the Victorians.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Quite right. The truth is, they're well suited, whether we like it or not.

Lady Rose MacClare: I don't understand.
Atticus Aldridge: Erm... I think he said we're not Russian, because we're... we're Jewish.
Lady Rose MacClare: Well, how did he know?
Atticus Aldridge: There were two big pogroms to drive out the Jews from Odessa, one in 1859...
Lady Rose MacClare: And 1871? But it's still odd. I mean, you're English now, but you're still Jewish. What's the difference?

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The One with the Stripper

Friends 8×8

Chandler: I can't believe you didn't tell me. You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty.
Monica: Ugh. I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass.

Dr. Green: How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't eat meat.
Dr. Green: It's chicken.
Phoebe: Yeah, I don't eat that either.
Dr. Green: I'll never understand you lesbians.

Dr. Green: Are you really pregnant?
Rachel: Well, uh, yes and no. Except, not no. So to sum it up, yeah.

Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh, no. Please don't tell me it's her.

Rachel: You're gonna be a poppy.
Dr. Green: That's true. I'm a poppy. I'm gonna be a poppy... So when is the wedding?
Rachel: The who?

Dr. Green: Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is gonna be a bastard! Rachel Karen Green, tell me there's gonna be a wedding.
Rachel: February 2nd.

Ross: Well, I haven't actually told her yet. I don't wanna scare her off.
Chandler: Well, you have to be honest with her... otherwise you may think that you're going down the same path... but you're really going down different ones.
Joey: I'm gonna take that book and I'm gonna beat you to death with it.

Monica: Please, I feel so bad. Just watch the hot woman get naked.
Chandler: Fine, but I'm only doing this for you.
Joey: Yeah...
Chandler: And Joey.

Phoebe: I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding... but I'm really busy that day. I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.

Ross: I love her like a friend.
Dr. Green: Oh, really? That's how you treat a friend? You get her in trouble and then you refuse to marry her?

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Downton Abbey 5×4

Isobel Crawley: You mustn't give up hope.
Prince Kuragin: When you go through a storm like ours, you give up hope quite early on in the proceedings.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I agree. Hope is a tease, designed to prevent us accepting reality.
Isobel Crawley: Oh, you only say that to sound clever.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I know. You should try it.

Isobel Crawley: I presume you and Prince Kuragin were once... attracted to each other.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: 'Attracted to each other'? Is that what you call it? As it happens, he asked me to run away with him.
Isobel Crawley: But you didn't go.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: No, Lord Grantham gave me a frame by Faberge, with two pictures of the children in it, and I saw sense.
Isobel Crawley: Lord Grantham sounds rather more subtle than I'd realised.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, like all Englishmen of his type, he hid his qualities beneath a thick blanket of convention, so I didn't see who he really was at first.
Isobel Crawley: It was lucky you found out in time.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: If it was in time...

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: I never take sides in a broken marriage.
Isobel Crawley: Why is that?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Because, however much the couple may strive to be honest, no-one is ever in possession of the facts.

Joseph Molesley: Well, it's not like the old days, is it? I mean, the duties of the First Footman are shared between a lot of people now, aren't they?
Mr. Carson: Are they?
Joseph Molesley: Well, they should be... because I've got the duties of the Second and Third Footman to deal with.
Mr. Carson: So, you don't feel you need the precedence that the title 'First Footman' confers? Joseph Molesley: Er... well, not really, no.
Mr. Carson: Very well. I'll see what I can do.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The One with the Stain

Friends 8×7

Chandler: I got a maid. Yay!
Monica: Oh, well, I hope by "maid," you mean "mistress"... because if some other woman was cleaning...
Chandler: Now, honey, I know you don't like to relinquish control--
Monica: "Relinquish" is just a fancy word for "lose."

Phoebe: Whose cell phone is that? It's just so annoying. Everywhere you go.
Ross: I think it's coming from your bag.
Phoebe: I never get calls!

Ross: You're moving?
Rachel: I can't live with Joey once the baby comes. I don't want my child's first words to be, "How you doing?"

Ross: Hi. I'm Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Rachel: And I'm Rachel, an admirer of the building.

Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible. Where did you get it?
Monica: Oh, well, um, I make it myself. It's two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. The secret ingredient is... You know what? We just met.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Runaway

Dexter: New Blood 1×5

Debra Morgan: What Harry did to you was child abuse. Teaching you to become a serial killer, and how to get away with it? Look where the fuck that got us.

Dexter Morgan: Every day I walk around this world faking it. Knowing if someone, if anyone knew the truth about me, they'd throw me in the deepest, darkest pit they could find. It's so fucking lonely.

Chloe: Can you actually be this nice?

Chloe: There a shower in there?
Kurt Caldwell: Yeah. And a Jacuzzi tub.
Chloe: Oh, yeah, I am definitely paying it forward. Thank you so much.
Kurt Caldwell: My pleasure. Really.
Chloe: Yeah, I could fucking die and go to heaven.

Molly Park: Damn it.
Angela Bishop: What?
Molly Park: No dead guy, no podcast. I mean yay, he's alive.

Dexter Morgan: What's with him?
Tess Silvera: He gets like this every couple months. Walks in here like he owns the place. That same song. Always that same fucking song.
     ♪ As I walk along I wonder ♪
     ♪ What went wrong with our love ♪
     ♪ A love that was so strong ...... ♪

Audrey Bishop: How does it feel to have that kind of power? Life or death.

Dexter Morgan: Sometimes you have to say yes to drugs.

— Ladies and gentlemen, Miami Metro Homicide Captain Angel Batista.

Angel Batista: It reminds me of another case back in the day, the Trinity Killer. No one understood how those deaths were related.
Angela Bishop: So how'd you guys crack it?
Angel Batista: A young detective, Debra Morgan, she always had a gut feeling about it. Never gave up.
Angela Bishop: So, maybe she could help us?
Angel Batista: She died. Real fucked-up situation. Her brother, too. Tragic, really. He had a little son. What was his name? Ah. I... Oh, yeah. Harrison. Cute kid.

Jasper Hodge: Who the fuck are you?
Dexter Morgan: I don't know. Your worst nightmare? Or maybe you're mine.

Dexter Morgan: I am a great fucking dad.

Dexter Morgan: There are always sacrifices one has to make as a parent. Especially the parent of a teenager... You don't always get to do the things you want the way you want. But we can make these small sacrifices for the good of our children... After all, if we can't do that, we don't deserve to be parents.

Molly Park: Who the fuck was that?
Angela Bishop: Why would Kurt lie?

Kurt Caldwell: You know, I've been around a little bit longer than you, and I've seen a few things. So I'm gonna give you a little advice, whether you like it or not. Now, in those moments, when all you see is red, just go and do something kind for the person that's pissing you off. Even if you don't want to, especially if you don't want to.

Kurt Caldwell: Run as far and as long as you want, you can never outrun that rage.

Dexter Morgan: We think we have it all figured out. We think we can control things. Fix them. That we can keep life moving forward on the path we've chosen... But all that's standing between us and chaos is a tiny, fragile thread-- Cut that thread, and we're all just falling into space.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The Yips and an Oddly Hypnotic Bohemian

Young Sheldon 5×9

Missy: What am I doing wrong?
Dale: Just a little case of the yips. It happens.
Missy: What's that?
Dale: The yips... you know, it's when you're thinking about stuff in your head and something you've done a million times, you can't do it anymore. Even the pros get it.
Missy: How do I get rid of it?
Dale: Uh, just don't think about it.
Missy: Okay.

Dale: I hate the little people.

Adult Sheldon: Of all the tests one takes in school, my favorite was the midterm. Finals weren't bad, but they also meant summer was approaching. I don't believe in religion, but sunshine, picnics and pool parties are proof hell exists.

Brenda: Well, Billy ain't the sharpest pencil in the box, but he's the sweetest kid I know.
George: Well, Sheldon is the sharpest pencil. Sometimes I'd just like to shove his head in that box.

George: You know, that sort of thing happens in sports, too.
Sheldon: I know. It's called the yips, and it's a very silly name for a very serious problem.
George: Well, you know, the best thing to do is get out of your head.
Sheldon: How do I do that?
George: Just turn your brain off.
Sheldon: It's like I'm not even your son.

George: Have you ever heard the Nike slogan "Just do it"?
Sheldon: I'm familiar with the phrase "let's do it," uttered by Gary Gilmore, the last person to be executed by firing squad in America.

Georgie: This is tough. I'm good at not thinking, but I don't think I can teach you how to not think without thinking.

Adult Sheldon: The next day, armed with the sage advice of my father, my brother, and an executed murderer, I was allowed to retake the test...
Sheldon: Okay, just do it. Just do it. Just turn your brain off and do it. Is it off? Am I doing it? Wait, if I'm thinking it's off, then it must still be on. I'm trying too hard. Don't overthink, just do it. Just do it, just...
Dr. Linkletter: Time's up.
Sheldon: But I didn't do it!

Brenda: It's just frozen lasagna. But I'm going oven instead of microwave, 'cause you're company.

George: I was being nice.
Brenda: So was I.
George: Yeah, maybe a little too nice.
Brenda: There is no pleasing you.

Adult Sheldon: Trying to outsmart my own thought patterns proved to be challenging. It's understandable, as smart as I was, I was also that smart.

Sheldon: Who's this bohemian?

Principal Peterson: Sometimes I look at the janitor pushing around that buffing machine. That thing looks like a blast. He doesn't wear a tie. No fights with the school board. Vomit and feces aside, he's, he's living the dream.

Missy: I didn't know Richard Simmons can paint.
Sheldon: His name's Bob Ross. And he's oddly hypnotic.

Dale: I am the leader of the little people.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack
+ Vanity Card # 689

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

Soo: Look, we're now living in a world where at any moment half the population can just disappear. Life's too short and too fragile.

Xu Wenwu: Names are sacred, Ruiwen. They connect us not only to ourselves, but to everyone who came before.

Shaun: So you became an actor because you thoughtthe monkeys were actually...
Trevor Slattery: Riding horses? I did. Yes.
Shaun: When, in fact, they were simply acting as if they were riding horses.
Trevor Slattery: I still can't get my head round it, to be honest.

Trevor Slattery: That's a weird horse... What's it looking at me for?

Trevor Slattery: I'm not a threat. Just an entertainer. Morris can vouch for me.

Master Guang Bo: If you aim at nothing, you hit nothing.

Soo: Two weeks ago, you were parking cars for tips, and you want me to believe you're now saving the world from soul-sucking monsters?

Bruce: Guys, stay safe. Welcome to the circus.

Wong: I know this is a lot to take in, but you're gonna have to start getting used to that. From now on, the trajectory of your lives will be like nothing you've ever experienced before. And there's no going back.

Wong: You both have a long journey ahead of you. Go home, get some rest.
Shaun: Yeah. That's a good idea.
Katy: Yeah. Yeah, we probably should do that. Or...

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

The One with the Halloween Party

Friends 8×6

Monica: You're supposed to wear a costume.
Rachel: I am. I am a woman... who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it... because soon she won't be able to fit into it.

Phoebe: Ah, Catwoman. So we meet again.
Monica: So we do, Supergirl.
Phoebe: It's me, Phoebe.

Monica: I thought he'd love it. His favorite book was The Velveteen Rabbit.
Chandler: The Velveteen Rabbit was brown and white.
Monica: It was either a pink bunny, or no bunny at all.
Chandler: No bunny at all. Always no bunny at all!

Monica: What are you supposed to be?
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? Well, I'm a potato. Or a "spud"... and these are my antenna. So Sputnik becomes?... Spud-nik! Spud-nik.
Chandler: Wow, I don't have the worst costume anymore.
Joey: Hey, all right! Ross came as doodie.

Eric: Oh, um, I'm a solar system. My student's helped me. I teach second grade.
Phoebe: I love the second grade.
Eric: Really?
Phoebe: It's better than first grade, where you don't know what's going on. And definitely better than third grade. You know, with all the politics and the mind games.

Monica: Wow, they're both really strong.
Joey: Or equally weak.

Ross: Oh, God, she's talking to Joey! You've got to let me win!
Chandler: No way. Let me win. My wife thinks I'm a wimp.
Ross: Hey, at least you have a wife. I keep getting divorces and knocking people up. And I'm dressed as doodie.

Joey: Come on, you're good with kids. They're just crazy on Halloween. They're all greedy, hopped up on sugar.
Rachel: Really? That's all it is?
Joey: Absolutely. Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas. And their birthdays. They get crazy during the summer too. And any time they're hungry or sleepy. Kids are tough. Good luck with that. Pfft.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Downton Abbey 5×3

Lord Anthony Gillingham: Does it matter if we get found out? We're gonna be down the aisle before you can say, "Jack Robinson."
Lady Mary Crawley: No. And yes, it does matter. I've been tarnished once and I won't be tarnished again. Nothing is going to happen that isn't properly announced organised and executed.

Isobel Crawley: It seems unlikely to think of Spratt with a private life.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Hm. Yes. Unlikely and extremely inconvenient.
Isobel Crawley: But you can't begrudge him that. Servants are human beings too.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Yes. But preferably only on their days off.

Lady Mary Crawley: Obviously, it's very shocking to someone of your generation.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Don't let us hide behind the changing times, my dear. This is shocking to most people in 1924.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Can we be confident that there will be no unwanted epilogue?
Lady Mary Crawley: You can be quite sure.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Well, I must say that makes a nice...
Lady Mary Crawley: A nice what?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: A nice kettle of fish.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Is there any chance of a proposal?
Lady Mary Crawley: Every chance. He already has. He wants to set the date.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh. Oh, I see. Well, I'm not saying I approve because I don't. But it does put things in rather a different light.
Lady Mary Crawley: Yes.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: When will you announce it?
Lady Mary Crawley: I'm not sure. We haven't decided.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Then you'd better get on with it. If I was seduced by a man, I would not let any grass grow under his feet if he'd offered to do the decent thing.
Lady Mary Crawley: I wasn't seduced, Granny.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: A young woman of good family who finds herself in the bed of a man who is not her husband has invariably been seduced. She couldn't have gone to bed with him of her own free will? NOT if she was the daughter of an Earl.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: An unlucky friend is tiresome enough. An unlucky acquaintance is intolerable.
Isobel Crawley: You're all heart!

Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham: Cora, I was cross. I had travelled the length of England to spend the evening with you and you had gone out. Aren't I allowed to be cross?
Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham: Cross but not unjust.

Lady Mary Crawley: What were you doing in Russia?
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Lord Grantham was in the household of Prince Alfred. And we went to St Petersburg for their wedding.
Lady Rose MacClare: I suppose it was very splendid.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh, you've no idea. Receptions and balls. Glittering parades. Rides in a horse-drawn sleigh. Flying across the snow at midnight.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: We were at a ball. In the Winter Palace. And it was so... Oh, it was so hot. There were icicles hanging outside the window. But the rooms were as hot as the tropics. I was wearing pale blue velvet. Trimmed with silver lace...

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Stop giving me such knowing looks. I met the prince when I was travelling with your grandfather. Nothing could be more respectable.
Lady Mary Crawley: Whatever you say.
Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Away with your impertinent conclusions!
Lady Mary Crawley: My only conclusion is this - I know you understand my predicament far better than you let on.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The One with Rachel's Date

Friends 8×5

Ross: Oh, my God. Chandler M. Bing. It's not just an M. Your middle name is Muriel!
Chandler: Shh! It is a family name.
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Your parents never even gave you a chance, did they?

Phoebe: The question is, who's gonna go first? Whoever goes second is the bitch.
Monica: What do you mean?
Phoebe: The boss that fires a guy... that's just been dumped? Bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy that's just been fired? Blond bitch!

Rachel: What do you think is the better excuse for why I'm not drinking on this date? Um, "I'm a recovering alcoholic," "I'm a Mormon"... or "I got so hammered last night I'm still a little drunk"?

Ross: Heh. A date?
Rachel: Yeah. Why, is that weird for you?
Ross: Why, no. It's the opposite of weird. It's, uh... It's regular. It's, uh... It's mundane. It's actually a little dull.

Ross: Hey, you want a little cheering up?
Rachel: Yes. Okay.
Ross: Sit down... Guess whose middle name is Muriel?
Rachel: Chandler M. Bing.
Ross: Yu-huh.
Rachel: Oh, my God.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Lamb (2021)

Ingvar: They're saying time travel is possible now. .... Ingvar: Not that I'm in any hurry to see the future. I like it fine in the here and now.
María: I expect it'll be just as possible... to go back in time.
Ingvar: Yes... of course.

Pétur: What the fuck is this?
Ingvar: Happiness...

Pétur: It's not a child, it's an animal.

María: Ada is a gift... A new beginning.

—
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks