The One with the Videotape

Friends 8×4

Rachel: ...so I had a lot of work, and Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had wine, we got to talking. Next thing you know, out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Ross: Um, heh. That's... That's a little misleading.
Rachel: What is?
Ross: The lie you just told.

Ross: You know what? Uh, it's not important. Heh, what's important is that we're having a baby. It doesn't matter who came on to who.
Joey: "Whom."
Ross: ????
Joey: That's right.

Ross: Okay, listen, I am not a pervert.
Phoebe: That's, like, the pervert motto. Yeah, they have you raise your right hand... put your left hand down your pants and repeat that.

Joey: He told us what happened. It sounds like an honest mistake.
Rachel: Really? How would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it?-- Oh, forget it.

Rachel: Oh, there he is, the father of my child, the porn king of the West Village.

Rachel: I want to see it.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Clearly you don't want people to see this tape.
Ross: I don't want people to see this tape either.
Rachel: But you so badly don't want people to see it that it makes me want to see it. See?
Joey: Are we watching the tape or not?!

Rachel: In about 10 seconds, you're gonna see him kiss me.
Ross: And in about 5 seconds, you're gonna see why.

Rachel: What are you talking about?
Monica: You used the Europe story!
Phoebe: That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex!

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