The One with Chandler's Dad

Friends 7×22

Chandler: You don't want him there. Nobody will stare at the bride... when the groom's father's wearing a backless dress.
Monica: Heh, so what? As long as he's not wearing a white dress and a veil, I don't care.
Phoebe: I think I need to do some shopping.

Monica: We're going to see your dad. I want to get to know my father-in-law.
Chandler: We already went over this and I won.
Monica: No, you didn't. Honey, just so you know... Now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore.

Monica: I know your dad embarrassed you...
Chandler: All kids are embarrassed by their parents. You need a new word for what I went through.

Chandler: In high school, he came to all my swim meets... dressed as a Hollywood starlet. It's hard enough to be 14. You're skinny, wearing Speedos your mom promised you'd grow into. You look up in the stands. There's your dad cheering you on. Dressed as Carmen Miranda, wearing a headdress with real fruit... that he'll later give to your friends as a healthy snack.
Monica: The point is that he was at every one of your swim meets cheering you on. That's a pretty great dad.
Chandler: He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi!
Monica: Who's Mr. Garibaldi?
Chandler: Does it matter?

Joey: Check it out... Huh? How much of a man am I?
Phoebe: Wow, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.
Joey: You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Joey: The silk feels really good. And things aren't as smashed down as I thought they would be.
Phoebe: That's great.
Joey: You have so many more choices than with men's underwear. Bikini, French cut, thong. And the fabrics: Cotton, silk, lace... You know what I've always wondered about? Pantyhose! The way they start at your toe, then they go all the way up to... I should go take these off.
Phoebe: I think it's important you do.

Rachel: Remind me to introduce you to someone.
Ross: Who?
Rachel: Fourth gear.

—
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks