Dalton: I don't fly. Too dangerous.
Morgan: This Dalton character, what's his story?
Cody: The story is, you fuck with him, and he'll seal your fate.
Emmet: Calling me "sir' is like putting an elevator in an outhouse. Don't belong.
Dalton: Don't worry. All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice. If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal.
Steve: Being called a cocksucker isn't personal?
Dalton: No. It's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response.
Steve: What if somebody calls my mama a whore?
Dalton: Is she?
Dalton: I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice.
Pat: Well, how are we supposed to know when that is?
Dalton: You won't. I'll let you know. You are the bouncers. I am the cooler. All you have to do is watch my back and each other's and take out the trash.
Frank Tilghman: Well, it was a good night. Nobody died.
Dalton: It'll get worse before it gets better.
Red Webster: How long are you gonna be in town?
Dalton: Not very long.
Red Webster: That's what I said 25 years ago.
Dalton: Really? What happened?
Red Webster: I got married to an ugly woman. Don't ever do that. It just takes the energy right out of you. She left me, though. Found somebody even uglier than she was. That's life. Who can explain it?
Doc: How'd this happen?
Dalton: Natural causes.
Doc: Looks like a knife wound.
Dalton: Like I said.
Doc: Mr. Dalton, you may add nine staples to your dossier of 31 broken bones, two bullet wounds, nine puncture wounds and four stainless-steel screws. That's an estimate, of course.
Doc: I'll give you a local.
Dalton: No, thank you.
Doc: Do you enjoy pain?
Dalton: Pain don't hurt.
Doc: Most of my patients would disagree with you.
Dalton: Okay.
Doc: Do you always carry your medical records around with you?
Dalton: It saves time.
Doc: How's a guy like you end up a bouncer?
Dalton: Just lucky, I guess.
Doc: Do you ever win a fight?
Dalton: Nobody ever wins a fight.
Doc: For that line of work, I thought you'd be bigger.
Dalton: Gee, I've never heard that before.
Wade Garrett: You having trouble?
Dalton: Nothing I'm not used to. But it's amazing what you can get used to.
Dalton: You're too stupid to have a good time.
Doc: Are you always better than they are?
Dalton: Pretty much.
Doc: Never been put down?
Dalton: No. Not really.
Doc: How do you explain that?
Dalton: The ones who go looking for trouble are not much of a problem to someone who's ready for them. I suspect it's always been that way.
Doc: Somebody has to do it...
Dalton: Somebody's got to pay somebody to do it.
Wade Garrett: The Double Douche...
Wade Garrett: That gal's got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that.
Wade Garrett: When a man sticks a gun in your face, you got two choices. You can die, or you can kill the motherfucker.
Dalton: I'm only good at one thing, Doc. I never lose.
Doc: But what are you going to win?
Doc: Do you think you're gonna save these people from Brad Wesley? Well, who's gonna save them from you?
--
+++ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks!
Σ «it's sooo bad it's good»
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