The Procreation Calculation

The Big Bang Theory 12×3

Penny: If we moved, we'd probably just get a loft downtown.
Leonard: Really? I always figured we'd get a place with a yard.
Penny: Oh, sure, yeah, that makes sense, so you could shoot hoops and mow the lawn?
Bernadette: How are you two married?

Howard: Enjoying your book?
Bernadette: So much.
Howard: Why do you keep poking at it?
Bernadette: Fine, I'm shopping on my phone.

Bernadette: ...I also tell people I only feed the kids organic. It's just stuff you say.

Penny: I am pretty spiritual. I do go to yoga, so...
Leonard: Great, so your church is Our Lady of the Stretchy Pants.

Raj: I used to have a long list of what I wanted from a wife. Uh, eyes like Sandra Bullock, hair like Sandra Bullock, and the bravery of Ryan Stone. That's Sandra Bullock's character in Gravity. But now, I-I just want someone nice.

Anu: How would you feel if I didn't change my name?
Raj: A little hurt, but you wouldn't know, because I'm too nice.

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Bernadette: You only think you don't want kids, but once you have kids, you'll realize that you did want them.
Penny: Or I don't want them, so I won't have them, so back off.
Bernadette: Aw, you sound just like me before I became a mom and learned what the meaning of love was.

Sheldon: Well, I, for one, applaud Raj's decision to forgo emotional attachment and find a life partner by bowing to a 3,000-year-old authoritarian tradition.

Sheldon: You're awfully quiet.
Leonard: Sorry.
Sheldon: No, I like it.

Sheldon: Grape Nuts for breakfast, quiet car ride, things are really breaking my way today.

Anu: I guess if we're going forward with this wedding, we should talk about the next steps.
Raj: Oh, like themes and flowers?
Anu: Actually, finances and taxes.

Raj: No, I can't do this... Th-There's something you may not know about me 'cause, you know, we've only met once, but... I'm a hopeless romantic.

Raj: I-I do want to settle down, but... this isn't the story that I want to tell my grandkids.

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