Rick and Morty 2x8
Rick: Every hospital claims to have the best doctor in the galaxy. It's like those pizza places that claim to have the best pizza in the world.
Beth: We're worried about Jerry.
Rick: Well, you're 39 years too late, or, you know, however old he is. Is he— Is he 50?
Jerry: Hi, honey, so, here's the thing— These guys— They want to completely remove my penis and use it as an alien's heart. And we just need you to sign off on it.
Jerry: I can't leave now. Everyone hates me.
Beth: Unfortunately, there's no surgical procedure that can fix that.
Rick: It's cool. It's fine. It's gotta be from an alternate reality, right?
Jerry: All I wanted was for everyone to like me...
Beth: Jerry, remember that time you left a comment underneath that YouTube video and someone replied and called you a dumbass, so you replied and told them, "it takes one to know one," and you stayed up all night hitting "refresh" on your browser waiting for them to reply and then you fell asleep crying?
Jerry: I remember it differently.
Beth: This is like that. You can't make people like you. You just have to wait for hating you to bore them.
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