South Park 22×3
Mr. Hankey: Kids, the song's called "Deck the Halls," not "Let's All Suck Balls." Now, come on, kids.
Eric: Why do we have to do this now?
Stan: Yeah, It's not even Halloween yet.
Mr. Hankey: Restoration Hardware put up their Christmas decorations two weeks ago, all right?!
P.C. Principal: That's right, kids. Many women today make the choice to have children without a man in their lives. They can have their eggs fertilized by an unknown person's sperm in a lab. In today's society, it is wrong to just assume that a pregnant woman had intercourse with a man. St-Students at this school need to be careful, because it can be offensive to asks questions like "Who's the father?"
Strong Woman: That's my water breaking. Not a big deal.
Mayor: I'm talking about what you tweeted last night. "The city council members are a bunch of pussy-licking Islamists."
Mr. Hankey: Oh. Oh, geez. Did I say that? Listen, if you're tired and you can't sleep, do not take Ambien.
Mr. Broflovski: Look, I'm sorry, but I learned a long time ago that if you defend poop, you get stained.
Mr. Hankey: You! You're the son of a lawyer. You have lawyer blood inside your veins! You can help me with my defecation lawsuit, Kyle!
Doctor: Yes, cute, little buggers, aren't they? Three boys and two girls.
P.C. Principal: I think it's wrong to force gender specification upon them at this young age.
Doctor: Funny. That's exactly what their mother said.
P.C. Principal: Doctor, would it be possible for me to hold the PC Babies?
Doctor: I'm sorry. That's only for the mother and father. Though, according to the vice principal, the father doesn't even exist.
Citizen: Hey! Hey, careful! You're upsetting the PC babies!
Mr. Hankey: The PC what? Listen! Christmas season means peace on earth and good will towards men. Uh, uh, look, what is the holiday season about? It's about loving each other,
right? Loving and... What?! What are they crying about now?
Sometimes, PC Babies don't even know what they're crying about.
Mr. Hankey: Well, then tell the babies to shut the fuck up! Who the fuck brings a goddamn baby to a Christmas show anyway?!
P.C. Principal: They're so strong... like their mother.
Strong Woman: They're so PC, like... whoever their father is.
P.C. Principal: Can they ever know that I'm their dad?
Strong Woman: We did the most un-PC thing imaginable. Think about what that would do to them. We can never let them know the debaucherous, sickening circumstances that brought them into this world.
P.C. Principal: Then, I'll just try to be the best principal to them that I possibly can.
Strong Woman: And I'll be their strongest vice principal, and hopefully... the world will calm down and not do anything to upset them.
Major: No good-byes, Hankey. You just need to go. We've already called you a "Poober."
Mr. Hankey: A Poober... They have that? Oh, you mean Lyft.
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