The Reptile Room: Part Two

A Series of Unfortunate Events 1×4

Lemony Snicket: There's no word to describe the feeling of waking up and knowing instantly that something is terribly wrong...

Count Olaf: What a terrible accident. Whoever discovers this will be very upset. "For in that sleep of death what dreams may come."

Count Olaf: God, I hate driving stick!

Lemony Snicket: It's extremely rare for an accident to be a fortunate event.

Count Olaf: Who am I? What am I doing? Don't you miss the vivid imagination of childhood?
Mr. Poe: I never had one.
Count Olaf: An imagination or a childhood?

Mr. Poe: It's quite urgent. First name, Montgomery. Last name, Montgomery... No, this isn't a prank call!

Count Olaf: No, child, please. If I were standing closer to you... I would slap you in the throat.

Hook-Handed Man: You two, get that body in the van and back to the ME for some TLC before it's DOA.

Lemony Snicket: It is now necessary for me to use the hackneyed phrase, "meanwhile back at the ranch." The word "hackneyed" here means "used by so many writers, it is a tiresome cliché," while "meanwhile back at the ranch" is a phrase used to link what is going on in one part of a story with another part, and has nothing to do with cows or creamy salad dressing.

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Lemony Snicket: "Labyrinth" is a word which means "maze full of secrets and danger," and if you're in ancient Greece, "a monster that is half bull and extremely unpleasant."

Violet: Sunny?
Count Olaf: I'd say partly cloudy.

Mr. Poe: Goodness, golly, good God, Mary and Joseph, Zeus and Hera, Nathaniel Hawthorne!

White Faced Woman #1: We need a plan.
White Faced Woman #2: Should we kill him?
Count Olaf: He is coughing a lot. Let's see if he dies of natural causes.

Count Olaf: That's nothing. It's my random junk collection, which is private property, illegally obtained, and therefore not admissible in court.

Violet: We're going to our Aunt Josephine.
Mr. Poe: To your Aunt Josephine. She's next on the list.

Jacquelyn: Telegram for a Mr. Count Olaf?
Count Olaf: It's just Count Olaf. Count is my honorific. Calling me "Mr." is not only redundant, it's an insult to my station.

Count Olaf: I find it helpful to leave the country now and then. See some ruins, wait for the manhunt to die down, eat some cuy...

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