Gonna Hurt

Preacher 3×3

Janitor: I just sweep the floors, lady!

Tulip: Don't you know?
God: I am all-knowing.
Tulip: Well, then you know I screwed up.
God: That was by design.

Tulip: You wanted me to screw up?
God: I was counting on it.

God: It's your nature, Tulip O'Hare. You see, I give all my children free will. And some do the right thing over and over. But others... alas, how did your father put it? The...
Tulip: Curse of the O'Hares.

God: Free will is a blessing and a curse. Do not despair, my child.
Tulip: Just know... I am a loving God.

God: I'm preparing a test for the future of creation.
Tulip: Oh, yeah? What kinda test?
God: A pass/fail.

God: I am God almighty.
Tulip: You're an almighty dickwad is what you are.
God: I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA. I AM A LOVING GOD, Tulip O'Hare. BUT DO... NOT... PUSH IT!

Tulip: Yeah, you better run! You better hide! But, one way or another, I will find you. And I'm gonna kick... your... a...

T.C.: No, no. Not the... not the tattoos. Your scars.
Cassidy: I don't have any scars.
T.C.: E-exactly. What with all the cuts and the stabs and bullets. Why ain't you dead?
Cassidy: I'm very limber... You know, Pilates. You know?

Jesse: I said sit tight.
Tulip: I am. I'm sittin'... tight. Enjoy church... Pray for me!

Cassidy: I'm a bloody vampire at Voodoo Disneyland. I should be their main attraction, man.
Jesse: Magic is one thing. Monsters is somethin' else.
Cassidy: Oh, monsters, is it?... Monsters. So, you're calling me a monster.

Jesse: If you're gonna stay, it's gonna hurt!

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Tulip: About your dingle. Um... I changed my mind.

T.C.: It's... it's a bit... drafty in here, so take that into account.
Tulip: Well... Draft or no draft, you've got a perfectly fine little dingle.
T.C.: You... You want to touch it?
Tulip: Nope. Let's not wake him.

Tulip: You said that the guy paid off his wife's debt.
T.C.: No, no. That... that fella... He paid a lotta money for an 89-cent cloth, but the debt... The debt is only paid when Miss Marie says it is.

Tulip: How do I break the curse?
T.C.: Get Miss Marie to let him go.
Tulip: And how do I do that?
T.C.: Do... do you know any... any magic or... or... or voodoo?
Tulip: No.
T.C.: Then you can keep squeezing, 'cause there's nothing you can do!

Tulip: There's never nothin' you can do. Every curse can be broken.

Cassidy: So, if you're a healer and you can bring people back from the dead... why are you still in a wheelchair, shittin' into a bag?

Madame Boyd: And you're Tulip O'Hare. I've wanted to meet you for a long time.
Tulip: How do you do?

Jesse: Welcome, you sick sonsofbitches. Tonight, you will see two merciless monsters fight as if their very souls were on the line. A pedophile science teacher... versus a back-stabbing, piece-of-shit vampire.

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