Charlie: Reunions are strange. They bring up a lot of feelings about your past. Were you a jock? A pothead? A Drama Club kid? A loser? Did you get the girl? Or did she ever even notice you? Who did you want to be, and who did you actually become?
Max: I wish you would've told me before I called your wife an alcoholic hosebag...
Max: You're runnin' with the law tonight, Charlie. You're an untouchable.
Charlie: My life fuckin' sucks... I drive the same car. I have the same job. I talk to the same people. I'm chasing the same girl... except now I pay all her credit card bills. She still doesn't care about me.
Max: Go to Antigua. Jump off a cliff.
Charlie: I don't wanna be Dr. Ronald P. Fishman.
Max: Well, you can't be Butch Ryder, 'cause I already put my picture on this one, so, you snooze, you lose.
Nikki: Charlie... you tried.
Ted-O: Go on.
Nikki: Um... You made a good casserole. I feel real sad that you were a Democrat. And, um... I don't know what else to say.
Ted-O: I think you said it all, baby. I think you said it all.
Max: He didn't have a tattoo, but there's somethin' else that he had.
Oh, yeah! I'll get an earring, I don't care.
Max: You don't put this in your ear...
Charlie: Hey, wait, why are you telling 'em that we're in our mid-'50s?
Max: Whenever a chick asks me my age, I always add ten years.
Charlie: Why do you do that?
Max: You tell them your real age, they just shrug. No big deal. Now, you're the fountain of fucking youth.
Max: ....And the Russian judges give that a what-the-fuck-just-happened-there?
Max: Question, the, uh, thing with the, uh, metal clamps, that, um... I'm looking for, uh... Joe Pesci used it in Casino to, you know, crush the guy's head?
Daisy: You mean a vise?
The Gymnast: That's... It's not gay. It's torture.
Max: Sure about this, tough guy?
Charlie: Fuck yes. You only live twice, right?
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
Max: I wish you would've told me before I called your wife an alcoholic hosebag...
Max: You're runnin' with the law tonight, Charlie. You're an untouchable.
Charlie: My life fuckin' sucks... I drive the same car. I have the same job. I talk to the same people. I'm chasing the same girl... except now I pay all her credit card bills. She still doesn't care about me.
Max: Go to Antigua. Jump off a cliff.
Charlie: I don't wanna be Dr. Ronald P. Fishman.
Max: Well, you can't be Butch Ryder, 'cause I already put my picture on this one, so, you snooze, you lose.
Nikki: Charlie... you tried.
Ted-O: Go on.
Nikki: Um... You made a good casserole. I feel real sad that you were a Democrat. And, um... I don't know what else to say.
Ted-O: I think you said it all, baby. I think you said it all.
Max: He didn't have a tattoo, but there's somethin' else that he had.
Oh, yeah! I'll get an earring, I don't care.
Max: You don't put this in your ear...
Charlie: Hey, wait, why are you telling 'em that we're in our mid-'50s?
Max: Whenever a chick asks me my age, I always add ten years.
Charlie: Why do you do that?
Max: You tell them your real age, they just shrug. No big deal. Now, you're the fountain of fucking youth.
Max: ....And the Russian judges give that a what-the-fuck-just-happened-there?
Max: Question, the, uh, thing with the, uh, metal clamps, that, um... I'm looking for, uh... Joe Pesci used it in Casino to, you know, crush the guy's head?
Daisy: You mean a vise?
The Gymnast: That's... It's not gay. It's torture.
Max: Sure about this, tough guy?
Charlie: Fuck yes. You only live twice, right?
--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks
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