Sand Trap

Elementary 6×8

Holmes: Watson!... I have returned.

Holmes: Now, would you like to hear about one scorned woman's attempt to frame an innocent black bear or... not?

Holmes: You've taken a lover in my absence. That's excellent. I can't wait to meet him. Or her. Or is it them?

Watson: He is not my partner partner. He is my business partner.

Fred: What is that?
Boss: That's a person, Fred. Two arms with... guts in the middle. And those are the legs. Somebody got buried here. And you just cut 'em into pieces.

Holmes: You're the only one who mattered.

Watson: Says here that you found a nylon fiber in her teeth.
Dr. Hawes: God bless man-made fibers and the manufacturers who register them.

Holmes: Who needs fingerprints when you got one of these?
Dr. Hawes: What, a rubber bracelet?
Holmes: It's a smart rubber bracelet.

Salinger: It's like a Roomba the size of a Fiat, only instead of cleaning floors, this thing cleans oceans.

Watson: Are you forgetting I was in the room with you when you told a pregnant woman that procreation was the only act more masturbatory than masturbation?

Holmes: There's not an adoption agency on the planet that would hand an infant to a woman who lives with a heroin addict.

Holmes: For you, Watson... I'd make adjustments. Always.

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Kelsey: So, you swear you and your partner never slept together?
Watson: No. Never.
Kelsey: And you're not a lesbian?
Watson: No.
Kelsey: Sorry, it's just-- he's hot, you're hot. You'd make a great couple.
Watson: You would be surprised how often we don't hear that.

Watson: She kept calling my situation unconventional! I've had more than one career. I live with my business partner...
Holmes: Conventional is the enemy of interesting.

Holmes: I'm about to bring them to my Irregular Gay-- That didn't sound right. She's not my irregular gay.
Watson: Her name is Gay, and she is an Irregular. I know. I introduced her to you.

Mr. Pickering: You work with the police, so I probably don't have to tell you this... Organized crime and the construction business, they got a funny way of going together sometimes.

Holmes: They were siphoning sand.
Watson: What are you talking about?
Holmes: I'm talking about one of the most in-demand natural resources on the planet. Sand is an essential ingredient in concrete, detergent, silicon chips, but its supply is finite.

Holmes: So... you fancy a curry?

Holmes: You know, what we want and what we need are very often mutually exclusive.

Kelsey: So, you think she could do it? Be a mom?
Holmes: I think she could do anything.

Holmes: Vikrant Jindal may be as large an odorous piece of human excrement as I've ever encountered, but I can tell you with virtual certainty he didn't kill this man.

Kelsey: You know this is all your fault, right? I've never met anyone like you. Like, it's inspiring.

Holmes: I've never understood the idea that a sad motion picture could be helpful to a sad person.
Watson: You don't have to understand it. You just have to watch it.

Holmes: She isn't wrong, you know. Kelsey. You are inspiring. To the right person.
Watson: I guess I'll have to work on that.

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