The Miserable Mill: Part Two

A Series of Unfortunate Events 1×8

Lemony Snicket: "Seeing in black and white" is a way of saying that a person looks at the world in a manner that is oversimplified and often incorrect. Like many newspapers, the Daily Punctilio is printed in black and white, and its look at the world is oversimplified and often incorrect.

Lemony Snicket: It is my duty to report these events correctly, the way they actually happened. But if you prefer to look at the world in black and white, then you should avert your eyes or pick up a newspaper instead.

Sir: Nonsense! Dr. Orwell has provided free eye exams to Lucky Smells employees for years. And there's nothing villainous about free healthcare.

Count Olaf: Hi, I'm Cookie. Shirley?.. I'm Shirley. Cookie?

Flacutono: Move as fast as you can and then move faster!

Lemony Snicket: "Fatal" is a word here which means "caused the death of one person who... it is my solemn duty to inform you... was not Phil."

Klaus: I don't understand. Everyone is staring at me like I'm a pariah... "Pariah" means "outcast."
Violet: Klaus, it's you.

Lemony Snicket: If the world ever feels confusing, as if people are having secret meetings to plot against you behind your back, it's useful to know they are. .... Like most things from the past, it's best seen... in black and white.

Sir: Absolutely not... They're an economic bonanza. They do the work of an adult for half the gum. What kind of a businessman would I be to part with them?

Violet: What's that thing Samuel Beckett said?
Klaus: "I can't go on. I'll go on."
Violet: Let's go on. Together.

Lemony Snicket: Sorry about that. We all have skeletons in our closet, metaphorically, meaning things from our past we'd prefer not leave lying around because they are painful or incriminating or would create unnecessary clutter.

Lemony Snicket: ... Unless you are a murderer or a taxidermist, it is rare to have actual skeletons in your closet, as opposed to metaphorical ones.

Violet: He was hypnotized, just like the rest of the workers here!
Sir: I don't care what my employees do for a hobby.

Sir: "Don't ask, don't tell." That's my motto.

Klaus: "It'll build character." That's just something people say when they're trying to make others accept a miserable situation.

Father: Sometimes when things look bad, they turn out to be worse.

Count Olaf: Wherever you go, I will be waiting. Wherever you hide, I will hunt you down. I'm smarter. I'm pluckier. I'm stronger... I'm unstoppable!
Violet: Why do you hate us so much?
Count Olaf: Because it's fun.

Lemony Snicket: Perhaps you've been told never to shout "fire" in a public place. When you shout "fire" and there isn't one, it can cause chaos. Of course, when you shout "fire" and there is one, it can cause chaos but also save lives. Still, there are times when shouting "fire" can save lives even when there isn't one. For example, you may be trapped in a motel room...

Dr. Orwell: How in the world does a child know a word like "inordinate"?!
Count Olaf: These brats know all kind of words. They're book addicts.

Charles: He may not have been a good partner, or a good boss... or a good person... but someday you'll learn things aren't always black and white.

Phil: Look on the bright side. You're alive!

Violet: What's our new guardian's name?
Mr. Poe: Guardian? Oh, no. Good God, no. I couldn't find a single one willing to take you in. Not after what happened to the last three. Uh, two. No, four.

Mr. Poe: Here's a fun bit of trivia. The architect who built this school was severely depressed.

Lemony Snicket: In a world both frightening and unlucky, there are a few comforts. One of them is making new friends. Friends can make you feel the world is smaller and safer than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences. When you meet people like that, you may find your world feels a little more complete. Like the missing piece of a puzzle...

Lemony Snicket:
♪ You may think that the Baudelaires ought to prevail ♪
♪ And be tucked some place all safe and sound ♪
♪ Count Olaf captured and rotting in jail ♪
♪ His henchpeople nowhere around ♪
Count Olaf:
♪ But there's no happy endings not here and not now ♪
♪ This tale is all sorrows and woes ♪
♪ You dream that justice and peace win the day ♪
♪ But that's not how the story goes ♪
Mr. Poe:
♪ You might think that two parents both brave and both true ♪
♪ Would live till a nice ripe old age ♪
♪ But I'm sad to say I have bad news for you ♪
♪ The curtain rings down on the stage ♪

Baudelaires:
♪ Yes, there's no happy endings not here and not now ♪
Count Olaf:
♪ This tale is all sorrows and woes ♪
Mr. Poe:
♪ You might dream that justice and peace win the day ♪
♪ But that's not how the story goes ♪

Lemony Snicket:
♪ I once loved a girl and she thought well of me ♪
♪ We thought we'd be happy together ♪
♪ But now I'm alone as you can well see ♪
♪ And she's cold in her grave forever ♪

Count Olaf:
♪ There's no happy endings not here and not now ♪
Baudelaires:
♪ This tale is all sorrows and woes ♪
Violet:
♪ You might dream that justice and peace win the day ♪
♪ But that's not how the story goes ♪

Count Olaf:
♪ The world is a pair of ill-fitting pants ♪
♪ And other dire hideous clothes ♪
Baudelaires:
♪ You may think that three children would lead pleasant lives ♪
♪ But that's not how the story goes ♪

Lemony Snicket:
♪ Some people smile at the end of the day ♪
Count Olaf:
♪ Some people laugh, I suppose ♪
Mr. Poe:
♪ But to me there's nothing but gloom and despair ♪
♪ That's just how the story goes ♪
♪ That's just how the story... ♪

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