If I Was an Elf, I Would Tell You

Mozart in the Jungle 4×2

Rodrigo: No, no, no. No, she's the master this weekend. I'm just the boyfriend.

Rodrigo: You know, we don't have to leave each other's orbit, you know? We could orbit each other's orbit.
Hailey: Mmm, someday, yes. But right now people see you as, like, a star, and me as a piece of space debris.
Rodrigo: That's what stars are made of.

Rodrigo: You know, now I know where the, "You're the best or you fucking suck" thing comes from.

Rodrigo: It's what they call it in Japan, you know, when you're a bit older and you feel foolish and childish again. They call it the second spring.

Hailey: You're not like a normal person. You're like a... musical, magical... elf.
Rodrigo: If I was an elf, I would tell you.

Gloria: The Pope! We got the Pope!... He'll bring all of his followers.
Thomas: Catholics?
Gloria: Instagram.

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Hailey: Have you ever even played the banjo before?
Rodrigo: No.
Hailey: Elf.
Rodrigo: Human.

Rodrigo: I-I have a question for Miss Rutledge. How did you first pick up your oboe? Or did the oboe pick you up?

Alan: I've recently taken over the Queens Philharmonic.
Thomas: You mean the Royal Philharmonic, right?
Alan: No. I mean, Queens. It's right above Brooklyn.

Rodrigo: Yeah, five, five. Five times I've been married... to the same person... Yeah. No kids, no pets. It was, you know, just faithful stuff. Yeah.

Keith: Why does everybody have to become the boss? Isn't it enough just to be a great instrumentalist?

Hailey: You always said that the difference between the best and the second best is how bad you want it.

Rodrigo: Well, why don't you play for the-the way that parents raise their kids into crazy people.
Hailey: That's a little dark, isn't it?
Rodrigo: It is, but... I was thinking that, maybe, if it wasn't for those type of parents, then there would be no artists. You know? Nothing to oppose.

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