Whipped Unto the Third Generation

Two and a Half Men 7×2

& Melissa: Now, you listen to me, Alan Harper. You are a strong, assertive man. I know that because I couldn’t be with you... if you were anything less.
    Alan: Oh, well, yeah, I am. You know, I don’t wanna flaunt my strong assertiveness... by, you know, asking for stuff.

& Evelyn: Hello, Charlie? It’s your mother. Remember me? The woman who carried you in her womb... for roughly seven and a half months? Anyway, I’d say call me, but what’s the point? I’ve long since given up expecting any kind of consideration or...
    Chelsea: Seven and a half months?!
    Charlie: She said, “If God wanted us to lose our figures... he wouldn’t have invented C-sections and incubators.”

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& Alan: Remember that time Mom took us on that Caribbean cruise? We had our own cabin?
    Charlie: Yeah... Took us three days to figure out Mom was on another boat.
    Alan: Good times.
    Charlie: Mm.

& Alan: Wanna watch some porn first?
    Charlie: No.
    Alan: Why not?
    Charlie: I’m drunk in bed in a hotel room with my brother... and you wanna know why I don’t wanna watch porn?
    Alan: Okay. Okay, I get it. You don’t wanna watch porn... Mind if I watch?

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