Mmm, Fish. Yum.

Two and a Half Men 7×3

& Judith: Just because they give 15-year-olds permits doesn’t mean they’re ready.
    Jake: I’ve been driving for years! “Grand Theft Auto 1,” “Grand Theft Auto 2...” I never ran over anybody but pimps and crack whores.
    Alan: Jake!
    Jake: Sorry, crack prostitutes.

& Judith: Don’t go there, Alan.
    Alan: Go where? I’m not implying that someone other than Herb... could be the father, even though that someone... did have unprotected sex with you nine months before the birth of a child... that looks suspiciously like that someone... You get that I’m talking about me, right?

& Charlie: For God’s sake, the cat doesn’t think anything except maybe: “Mm, fish, I’ll eat it.” Or, “Ooh, sand, I’ll crap in it.”

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& Jake: Doesn’t even look like a cat anymore...
    Charlie: Nope.
    Jake: More like a cat pancake. “Catcake...” Sorry.

& Charlie: So we’re agreed, we will never speak of this again.
    Jake: Well, that kind of depends on you, doesn’t it?..
    Charlie: I’ve already got the shovel, Jake. I can dig another hole.

& Chelsea: Sir Lancelot! You’ve been a bad kitty cat. I’ve been so worried about you.
    Charlie: Okay, I’m confused.
    Jake: If that’s Sir Lancelot, then what did we squash?
    Charlie: Your hope of ever getting behind the wheel of my car again.
    Jake: Oh, man.
    Charlie: Leverage is a fickle bitch, my friend.

& Jake: Looks like the fickle bitch is back.

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