Delusion

Wilfred 3×6

"Truth may sometimes hurt, but
delusion harms."
Vanna Bonta

& Ryan: If you’re so upset about it, why are you wagging your tail?
    Wilfred: Sarcastically, Ryan.

& Wilfred: Well, she’s getting up there in years. What about a book on how to play bridge or a sewing kit?
    Ryan: Jenna’s only turning 30. That’s not that old.
    Wilfred: Yes, it is. I’m, like, nine. I can’t even imagine turning 30.
    Ryan: Every human year is seven dog years. You’re 63.
    Wilfred: Holy shit. I’m, like... old.
    Ryan: Come on. You’ve still got a lot of life ahead of you.
    Wilfred: This is terrible. That means I’ve got 42, maybe 49 years left?

& Wilfred: And then after I’m gone, all the wondrous things I’ve done: the adventures, the hijinks, the naps in between... it’ll all be forgotten.
    Ryan: You’ll live on, Wilfred. I’ll tell my kids about you.
    Wilfred: I appreciate that, Ryan, but to have kids you need to have sex.

& Wilfred: I’ve never really been a taco guy. I don’t speak Spanish, so...

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& Kristen: Why weren’t you waiting for me in the driveway to help me?
    Ryan: You’re an hour early.
    Kristen: So?

& Wilfred: I looked in the mirror again this morning. Guess what I found?.. 8,867,322 gray hairs.

& Wilfred: You can’t put genius on hold! Dude, the Muses are basically all up on my nuts right now!

& Jenna: You know, when I was little, my mom used to yell out at me in public, “Susab!”
    Ryan: “Susab?”
    Jenna: It’s an acronym. “Stand Up Straight And Breath mint.”

& Wilfred: Listen, I’ve got some great new ideas. The Muses have basically been taking turns sitting on my face for the last two hours.

& Ryan: Jenna, there’s something I have to tell you. I... I’m not feeling that well.

& Wilfred: You’ve never heard of werewolves? Oh, Ryan, wait until you hear about these creatures. They start off just like normal guys, like, charming, handsome, just... normal. Then, once a month, they magically transform into these evil, grotesque humans for, like, 29 days.

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On the IMDb