4 июл. 2013 г.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

& Bully: I’m gonna kill you, Weinselstein!

& Burt: Night after night after night, I am in magic hell.

& Burt: Are you a lesbian?
    Jane: Is every woman who doesn’t sleep with you a lesbian?
    Burt: Oh, no, I have slept with plenty of lesbians.

& Burt: There will be no biting or scratching, anything that can leave a mark. This is a standard release form acknowledging that you are over 18... and that you are willingly consenting to the sex acts that we are about to commit.
    Miranda: It’s a lot of paperwork.
    Burt: It’s a lot of sex acts.

& Miranda: Oh, my God! It’s huge!
    Burt: ... Biggest bed in Vegas.

& Burt: What the hell is a webisode?
    Rick the Implausible: Are you being serious? What’s a webisode? It’s... it’s a show that you do on the internet, just like being on TV or having a movie except you don’t go... through... you know all the hassle of... people seeing it.

& Doug: All right, Burt... this is the brochure for my new signature hotel, Doug. This hotel is the same as all the other hotels. But I’m going to be charging 70% more for everything. Now, do you know why I can do that?
    Anton: Because it’s shinier?
    Doug: Shut up. Because it’s new. And people love new. And when people love something, it becomes valuable. So new equals valuable. Do you understand what I’m saying?


& Burt: Aah! Your face got me right in the knee.

& Burt: Are you telling me that I don’t have any money?
    Dom: You have a savings bond. Here.
    Burt: Two hundred dollars that my nana gave to me...
    Dom: Yeah, $200 in 1973. Today it is worth... $248.
    Burt: Hmm. Hmm.

& Burt: My act is incredibly intricate. It is a product of years of study and training... and, no offense, but you are a girl... Not that girls can’t do magic. It’s just that men are better at it.
    Jane: You know what? I don’t want you staying here. And I don’t want to work with you.
    Burt: Just because I said that men are better than women? I said “no offense.” Therefore, you cannot be offended. Legally.

& Steve Gray: Now, what you’re smelling is not barbecue, ladies and gentlemen. It is my actual flesh.

& Rance: People want to think what they’re seeing is real magic, not a magic show. If you don’t believe what you’re doing, how are they gonna believe?

& Rance: God damn! That’s the worst thing I ever saw in my life. And I saw my kids being born!

& Steve Gray: Chin up, Burt. Bad things don’t happen to us, they happen for us.

& Burt: Do you think this batch is ready?
    Anton: I don’t know. Check it. ...
    Burt: Do you think this batch is ready?
    Anton: I don’t know. Check it.

& Burt: Anton, what could possibly go wrong?
    Anton: Somebody could die, we can go to prison...
    Burt: See? When you say it out loud, it doesn’t sound so bad.

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+ quotes on the IMDb

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