Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth

Two and a Half Men 6×23

& Chelsea: You know how they say you can be alone but not lonely?
    Charlie: Yeah. Well, Alan’s kind of the opposite. He’s always lonely but he’s never alone.

& Chelsea: Please? For me?
    Charlie: Chelsea, we agreed that you only get one of those a month. Are you sure you want to waste it on Alan?

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& Berta: What up, homes?
    Charlie: What are you doing?
    Berta: Enjoying the sunset, waiting on dinner.
    Charlie: You’re staying for dinner?
    Berta: I wasn’t gonna, but your lovely fiancé and her new gal pal insisted.
    Charlie: Yeah, I’ve got to put a stop to that.
    Berta: What are you, nuts? This is the perfect setup for you.
    Charlie: How do you figure?
    Berta: Do you like to go shopping?
    Charlie: No.
    Berta: Zippy does. Do you like to watch chick flicks?
    Charlie: No.
    Berta: Zippy does. Do you like to talk for hours about your feelings?
    Charlie: No.
    Berta: Zippy do.
    Charlie: Oh, right.
    Berta: He digs the trench, you lay the pipe.

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On the IMDb