The Holographic Excitation
Stuart: Yeah, it’s my annual attempt to meet women. Ninth time’s the charm.
& Bernadette: Leonard does thing he doesn’t like to make you happy.
Penny: Yeah, he’s my boyfriend. Isn’t that, like, his job?
Bernadette: Then what’s your job?
Penny: Letting him make me happy.
Bernadette: I just think in relationships you get back what you put into them.
Amy: That’s not always true. Last night I gave Sheldon my best come-hither look, and he responded by explaining how wheat came to be cultivated.
& Bernadette: You could start by taking an interest in his work.
Penny: Yeah, that’s kind of a problem.
Bernadette: Why?
Penny: Not really clear on what he does.
Bernadette: He’s an experimental physicist...
Penny: Yeah, I’m not really clear on what that means.
Amy: He takes hypotheses... and designs protocols... to determine their accuracy.
Penny: Yeah, you’re really just making it worse.
& Amy: So, listen, Sheldon, I was thinking... since this is gonna be our first Halloween party as boyfriend and girlfriend, I thought it might be fun for us to go in a couples costume.
Sheldon: I couldn’t agree more.
Amy: Really?! I find that inconsistent with everything I know about you.
Sheldon: Oh, oh, on the contrary. ... Imagine this: you and I entering Stuart’s party and all eyes turn to see America’s most beloved and glamorous couple.
Amy: Yeah?....
Sheldon: R2-D2 and C-3PO!
& Amy: I make compromises for you all the time. Just this once, can’t we find something that we’re both happy with?
Sheldon: Fine. How about one of the most beguiling and influential couples of the 20th century?.. Hewlett and Packard.
& Leonard: Well, the holographic principle suggests that what we all experience every day in three dimensions may really just be information on a surface located at the farthest reaches of our cosmos... So it’s possible that our lives are... really just acting out a painting on the largest canvas in the universe.
Penny: Hmm...
Leonard: What?
Penny: Sometimes I forget how smart you are.
Leonard: You should visit more often. ... What are you doing?
Penny: Take off your clothes.
Leonard: What? Here? Now?
Penny: Yeah. You got a problem with that?
& Leonard: Hello, boys.
Raj: What are you smiling at?
Leonard: Nothing.
Howard: You know where’s there’s a lot of nothing?
— Space!!!
& Howard: So, here we are, just a couple of young newlyweds. What to do? What to do to you?.. Astronaut Wolowitz, reporting for booty... Preparing thrusters... We have liftoff.
& Raj: Oh, by the way, can I borrow your bullwhip and fedora?
Howard: Yeah, sure, whatever.
Raj: I was thinking of dressing up as Indiana Jones’ mocha-skinned love child... “Indian” Jones.
& Howard: Bernadette said you guys are all sick of me talking about my trip to space. Is that true?
Raj: No.
Sheldon: Yes. ... We seem to have different approaches here. I was going for helpful honesty. I have no idea what you’re doing.
Raj: ...It’s called being nice.
Sheldon: Okay. If you think being nice will get him to shut up, I’ll try it.
Howard: You know what, guys? Never mind. I just won’t talk about the greatest achievement of my life ever again!
Sheldon: Look at that, the problem solved itself.
& Leonard: Hello, boys.
& Howard: Two weeks ago I was an astronaut...
Bernadette: Yeah, well, now you’re a Smurf. Keep walking!
& Bernadette: Slutty cop?
Penny: No, sexy cop. Slutty cop only came with a skirt and two badges.
& Howard: You’re my wife. You’re supposed to be on my side.
Bernadette: I’m always on your side!
Howard: Then why are you trying to take this away from me? Being an astronaut is the coolest thing I’m ever gonna do. If I stop talking about it, then I’m just...
Bernadette: Just what?
Howard: Just plain old Howard Wolowitz again.
& Penny: Nothing to see here. Just sexy police business.
Leonard: Just explaining the theory of relativity. Twice!
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