The Big Bang Theory 6x2

The Decoupling Fluctuation

& Penny: Ooh... ’one gravy boat.’
    Amy: That’s from Sheldon. He told me he had it engraved.
    Bernadette: “In the event of a divorce, please return to Sheldon Cooper.”
    Penny: One “inappropriate, yet I wish I thought of that” gravy boat.

& Penny: I-I’ve been in love before, but it felt different. But maybe this is a new, better, boring kind of love... Do you ever feel that way about Howard?
    Bernadette: Oh, that’s not really a fair comparison. I’m basically married to a sexy Buzz Lightyear.
    Penny: Amy, you?
    Amy: Can’t help ya, kid. Whenever I’m around Sheldon, I feel like my loins are on fire... In the good way... Not the urinary tract infection way.

& Leonard: It’ll be fine. Just, uh, pretend he’s Wolowitz.

& Stuart: Should we go?
    Sheldon: Yeah, but, one more question. If you’re going to replace Wolowitz, I need to know a little more about you.
    Stuart: All right.
    Sheldon: Wolowitz went to MIT. What’s your educational background?
    Stuart: I went to art school.
    Sheldon: Equally ridiculous. Let’s go.

& Sheldon: It’s not fair! Penny isn’t making Leonard hold hands.
    Amy: There might be a reason for that...
    Sheldon: Sweaty?.. Unhygienic?.. Looks dumb? Take your pick.

& Amy: It’s complicated.
    Sheldon: String theory is complicated. That’s just yucky.

& Amy: She’s not sure how she feels.
    Sheldon: How can she not be sure how she feels? You know, when I have a feeling, I know it. Trains?.. Love them. Swordfish?.. I love them, too. They’re fish with a sword for a nose.

& Sheldon: FYI: secret-keeping? Hate it. Hand-holding? Not a fan. Hammerhead shark? I love that thing. Yeah, it’s another fish with a tool on its head.

& Leonard: Don’t worry. I’ll take you to the dentist tomorrow.
    Sheldon: Thank you. I appreciate that. You’re good people, Leonard.

& Sheldon: There’s something I need to tell you.
    Leonard: Okay.
    Sheldon: ... I can’t tell you.
    Leonard: Why?
    Sheldon: ... I can’t tell you why I can’t tell you. So I guess there’s two things I can’t tell you.
    Leonard: I wish there were more.

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& Sheldon: I like The Transformers... Do you like The Transformers?
    Leonard: Where exactly did your mother have you tested?
    Sheldon: Leonard, The Transformers teach us that things are not always what they appear to be. You know, like, uh, a semi truck might be an alien robot, or, uh, someone in a romantic relationship, uh, might feel differently than they appear to. Or... a conversation about The Transformers might actually be about someone in this room... I’m going to pause to let that sink in.

& Sheldon: Leonard? Leonard? Leonard?
    Leonard: What?
    Sheldon: Are you sleeping?
    Leonard: I was. Now I’m having a nightmare... What do you want?
    Sheldon: ... Never mind. I still can’t tell you.

& Penny: I think it’s really sweet you’re trying to protect your friend, but this is none of your business. Got it?
    Sheldon: Excuse me! This is not about protecting my friend. I’m a big fan of homeostasis. Do you know what that is?
    Penny: Of course not!

& Sheldon: Homeostasis refers to a system’s ability to regulate its internal environment and maintain a constant condition of properties like temperature or pH...
    Penny: Worst bedtime story ever.

& Howard: You can see it if you want. It’s on YouTube. Google “astronaut screams for nine minutes.”

& Bernadette: Do you want me to call somebody at NASA?
    Howard: No. My mom already tried that. It only made things worse.

& Sheldon: Leonard? Maybe you’d like to go with them to meet girls.
    Leonard: Why would I be interested? I have Penny.
    Sheldon: Yeah, for now... But that woman has a death wish, Leonard. She talks to strangers; she pets unfamiliar dogs; and it is ridiculously easy to break into her apartment. If I were you, I’d get a back-up.

& Leonard: You can’t just replace someone you care about with some other random person.
    Stuart: No, please don’t ruin this for me.

& Amy: You slept with him?!
    Penny: I didn’t know what else to do. He had those big, sad eyes!
    Bernadette: Oh, sure, you had no choice.

& Bernadette: Don’t worry. You’ll have plenty of chances to break up with him: Your wedding day, your honeymoon, your 50th anniversary...

& Penny: We’re keeping things, you know, homeostasis.
    Amy: It’s so cute when she tries...

& Bernadette: Oh, Howie...
    Howard: What’s wrong? You look upset.
    Bernadette: Nope, this is my proud face.

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On the IMDb