The Big Bang Theory 6x3

The Higgs Boson Observation

& Howard: Hey, Bernie? Before you go, can you do something for me?
    Bernadette: What do you want me to do?
    Howard: Okay... here it is... I really... miss... gravity. Can you... drop something so I can watch it fall?

& Penny: Is this like a diary?
    Sheldon: No, that’s my potty training journal.
    Penny: Really, your potty training journal?
    Sheldon: Yeah. And forgive my crude penmanship. I didn’t start typing until I was six.

& Sheldon: There are some charts in the back where I kept track of shape, color and consistency.
    Penny: Oooh! Disgusting.
    Leonard: No, what’s disgusting is he’s still keeping track.

& Penny: Why do you need all this stuff...?
    Leonard: No, no, no, no...
    Penny: Sorry!
    Sheldon: I am glad you asked.
    Leonard: Ooooh!
    Sheldon: Yeah, are you familiar with the Higgs boson?

& Leonard: If you want help, just hire a grad student.
    Penny: Maybe I could do it.
    Sheldon: You, really? You can assess the quality of my work?.. Okay, um, here. I wrote this when I was five years old.
    Penny: “A proof that algebraic topology can never have a non-self contradictory set of abelion groups...” I’m just a blonde monkey to you, aren’t I?
    Sheldon: You said it, not me.

& Alex: Look, Dr. Cooper, I really want this position. It would be an incredible honor to work for a man of your brilliance.
    Sheldon: Flattery will not get you this job, Ms. Jenson.
    Alex: It’s not flattery if it’s the truth.
    Sheldon: Oh, well, thank you. Welcome aboard.

& Leonard: You talk to Howard lately?
    Raj: Uh, yeah, last night. He kept making me drop pencils for him... I got uncomfortable.

& Alex: I’m Alex, Dr. Cooper’s new assistant.
    Leonard: Ah, congratulations and may God have mercy on your soul.

& Alex: I’m so excited to be working with Dr...
    Sheldon: Yeah, please reserve chitchat for your breaks, Ms. Jenson. Yeah, FYI, there will be no breaks.

& Bernadette: What’s wrong?
    Howard: Well, remember the... Soyuz capsule they were sending to bring us home?..
    Bernadette: Uh-huh.
    Howard: It’s delayed. We’re gonna be here at least another week. Maybe ten days. It’s the Russians, so you don’t know. They left dogs up here in the ’60s.

& Howard: If I die, promise you’ll never have sex with another man!

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& Amy: Oh, yeah... I’m a man-eater now.

& Alex: Can I help you?
    Amy: I’d like to speak to Sheldon.
    Alex: I’m sorry. He’s asked me to hold all calls unless you’re Stephen Hawking, his mother or himself from the future.

& Amy: That’s weird... Sheldon told me he had a new assistant named Alex. He didn’t mention that Alex was a girl.
    Penny: Maybe he didn’t notice.

& Penny: What are you doing?
    Amy: Isn’t it obvious? I’m spreading my scent to mark my territory.
    Penny: Come on, Amy. That is not gonna work.
    Amy: Really? Because just before you became my best friend, I did this all over your apartment.

& Leonard: Oh, that happens to be Dr. Koothrappali’s field of expertise. You two have a lot to talk about.
    Alex: Is that true?
    Raj: .............
    Alex: Is he all right?
    Leonard: No. But compared to your boss, he’s the poster boy for sanity.

& Alex: I’ve been around scientists all my life. My dad’s an astronomer at SETI.
    Leonard: Oh, SETI... the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. You should introduce him to Sheldon. The search is over.

& Amy: You were right. I had nothing to worry about. That skank’s your problem, not mine.

& Bernadette: Howie, honey, maybe you should talk to someone, let them know you’re having a little anxiety.
    Howard: No, no, I’m fine. No anxiety! We should probably talk in code. From now on, “frog” is me, “sandwich” means you and “lemon” means rocket. So, come on, sandwich, build me a lemon ’cause froggy wants to come home!

& Penny: Everything’s fine.
    Amy: Really? I don’t know how much you know about primate behavior, but Sheldon’s assistant was clearly courting Leonard. Were she a mandrill, she would have bent over and displayed her brightly colored hindquarters like a big red welcome mat. By the way, you try that at the junior prom, you get kicked out.

& Penny: Look, I don’t even know where my relationship is with Leonard is right now.
    Amy: So says your prefrontal cortex. But meanwhile, the limbic system of your brain is calculating that if another woman is attracted to Leonard, it must be because he’s desirable.

& Penny: Well, of course he’s desirable. I mean, he’s great. He’s smart, he’s sweet, and, ooh, in the bedroom, whew... let me tell you, he really tries.

& Penny: This is stupid. It doesn’t bother me. Okay, it bothers me. But only because she wouldn’t stop laughing. Leonard is not that funny.
    Amy: And there you have it; prefrontal cortex reasoning versus limbic lust. If this were a boxing match, they might call it “The thrilla adjacent to the amygdala.” Ha-ha-ha!.. If you were a brain scientist, you would be busting a gut right now!

& Sheldon: Oh, good, Leonard, you’re here. Science news. This will interest you. And, Penny... feel free to paint your nails.

& Alex: Uh, do you work with Dr. Hofstadter?
    Penny: In a way... We’ve kind of been involved in a five-year experiment.
    Alex: Oh. Well, you’re lucky. He seems very talented. And I’m sure a lot of people want to work with him.
    Penny: Well, a lot of people can’t.

& Leonard: Where are we going?
    Penny: My limbic system wants to take your pants off.

& Howard: Attention, people of Earth: Tonight, there will be two moons in the sky.
    Bernadette: Howie, stop that. NASA’s watching this!.. Put your pants back on!

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On the IMDb