Does This Smell Funny to You
Jake: Just a sec.
Teacher: Now, Jake!
Jake: ... Okay, I’m finished.
& Jake: Does spelling and grammar count?
Teacher: It’s an oral report, Jake!
Jake: Oh, so it’s like an oral thermometer.
Teacher: Right.
Jake: Good thing it’s not a rectal report...
& Jake: “My weekend starts on Friday, when my mom takes me to my dad’s house. Which is actually my Uncle Charlie’s house. Who is my dad’s brother, making him my uncle. His name is Charlie, which is why I call him my Uncle Charlie.”
& Alan: Charlie!
Charlie: Busy.
Alan: I don’t care. Open the door.
Charlie: I’ve got company.
Alan: I know. And her husband’s downstairs.
& Alan: So women, huh? Can’t live with them. ... That’s all I got.
Norman: You married?
Alan: Divorced.
Norman: She sleep around?
Alan: No, mostly just slept.
& Berta: You got a gun?
Norman: No!
Berta: Want one?
Alan: Berta!
Berta: I’m making small talk!
& Charlie: Does that make us even?
Norman: You tell me!
Charlie: Okay... One more. Ouch!
Berta: Funny. He poked you, you poked his...
Alan: Berta!
Berta: What? How often do you see that kind of symmetry in life?
& Charlie: I am so sorry. I had no idea that she was married. I have a firm rule when it comes to sleeping with married women.
Berta: Yeah, if she’s firm enough, he’ll do her.
& Charlie: So anyway... are we okay?
Norman: You mean, aside from the fact that you just rolled off my wife? Oh, yeah. We’re aces.
& Evelyn: You know what, Norman? You look a lot like my fifth husband.
Norman: Really? How many times you been married?
Evelyn: Four.
& Alan: So, what’s new in school?
Jake: Almost got an A on my paper.
Alan: What do you mean “almost”?
Jake: Got a C.
Alan: Okay, that’s... That’s fine. That’s an improvement.
Jake: Minus.
Alan: Still, here’s your dollar.
Charlie: You’re paying him for a
Alan: That was our deal. A buck for every C, a car for every A.
Charlie: A car?
Alan: Safest bet in the world.
--
+ quotes on the Imdb.
And this was the
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий