30 Rock 3x17

Cutbacks

& Jake: I’m warning you now that the entertainment division is gonna come under some very close scrutiny. The days of your wild coke parties are over.
    Liz: Well, if by “coke,” you mean “sodas”...

& Jake: I need an assistant. And I’m going to have to ask you to fill in.
    Kenneth: Uh... what about my page duties?
    Jake: Oh, don’t worry. I’ve taken care of that. You’ll do both jobs.

& Brad Halster, the Himler Group, a division of Advantrix Consulting: Liz, is there a conference room where we can sit down and get started?
    Liz: Actually, I thought we’d do this outside the box. I’d like to tell you about three television programs. A comedy show, a musical variety show, and a live television event. Comedy, music show, live show. Comedy, music, live. Are you getting it? Yeah. They’re all the same show. They’re all TGS.

& Kenneth: With both these jobs, I don’t know when I’m gonna be able to get home. I’m worried about my bird, Sonny Crockett. Would you mind going to my apent and feeding him?
    Tracy: Yeah, okay. Birds are like little dinosaurs. So what I’ll be doing is actually pretty cool and brave.

---

& Kenneth: Hello, miss Lemon. Are you here to see Kenneth the Page or Kenneth- the Mr. Donaghy’s assistant?

& Cheryl: Do you know Jack Donaghy well?
    Liz: Pretty well.
    Cheryl: Do you happen to know if he’s a boob man or a butt man?
    Liz: What? Why would you ask that?
    Cheryl: Because I don’t want to get fired. So I’m gonna have to go in there and found my way out of this.
    Liz: You’re gonna try to have sex with jack?
    Cheryl: I have to. I have 15 employees. I’m responsible for them. Do you have any idea what that’s like?
    Liz: Well, yeah, I have 200 people under me, but...
    Cheryl: Wow. Maybe we could team up, go in there together, lez out, give him a show.

& Liz: Your next meeting might disagree. She’s planning to change your mind by hitting... that.
    Jake: Oh, no, not again. This last guy tried to take my belt off. But the sad thing is, it sometimes works. Sexual bartering pays off. Salome... Mata Hari... Deborah Norville...

& Tracy: Jenna, I just want you to know that if we find any human remains in there, I’m gonna throw up all over your face.

& Liz: We know the deal. Let’s cut to the chase.
    Halster: That’s certainly direct.
    Liz: We go upstairs. 20 minutes. Open mouth. I will work your ears.
    Halster: I don’t know, Liz. What you’re asking me to do is a big deal. If I go through with this, I need to know it’s worth it.
    Liz: Fine. 30 minutes. I’ll make some sounds. And you can say one weird thing to me.
    Halster: ...
    Liz: All right, hardball. 30 minutes. Sounds. Top front of my body is now in play. Deal?

& HR: Mr. Halster has filed a complaint against you with Human Resources. Specifically, his claim suggests that you tried to barter sex in exchange for professional consideration. In the Human Resource world, we refer to that as “being a filthy prostitute.” Now, since this is your first incident, and, uh, Mr. Donaghy has explained the mitigating circumstances... I’m convinced that this sexual outburst was brought on... by menopause.

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+ quotes on the Imdb.

__ Cutbacks r always funny. If u r watching them outside, naturally.
++ Liz Vs. Jobs it's just the bazinga!