My Name Is Earl 4x13

Orphan Earl

& Mr. Fischer: Excuse me. My wife and I were driving home from building Nerf playgrounds for autistic children, and we ran out of gas. She would have come with me, but she’s shy because we had to sell her hair for baby formula. If you’d loan me a 20, I’ll mail it back to you.
   Joy: Goodness me, that is such a sad story... and there were so many details, it has to be true. Would you mind sharing it with my friends inside? I’m sure they’d love to help. ... And then he said he had a bold wife who sold her hair for... What was it she sold it for?
   Mr. Fischer: Baby formula.
   Randy: What an idiot! The baby formula is man plus woman. Everybody knows that.

& Old lady: Is this true?
   Earl: Nine out of ten African children die every minute? Africa’s hard on kids, what with the hot sun and giant leeches and no... speed limits.

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& Earl: The 1st rule of scamming money is to look like you aren’t looking for money.

& Earl: The 2nd rule of scamming was not to tell Randy it was a scam, there’s no better salesman than someone who believes he’s telling the truth.

& Earl: You’ve been scamming that poor man for three years? I can’t believe you’re not ashamed of yourself.
   Joy: If I had only fooled him once, it’d be shame on me, but I have fooled him a bunch of times, so, it’s shame on him.

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On the Imdb.